Archive for May, 2009
Thieves strike again
Society punishes the obedient and rewards the reckless (bike stolen again). They stole my bike. My bike was stolen. Again. Taken from me. Without consent.
Coraline
Cute cats, sewn eyes and kings dinners – Coraline paints a picture of fantasy unlike any other.
Star Trek
Thank you JJ Abrams. Star Trek returns, has sold its soul to the devil and is guaranteed a new lease of life. Hello Stardate future!
Million Dollar Baby
Clint Eastwood reminds the world why he still is the powerhouse we know. Incredibly moving film concerning ambition and sacrifice.
How to Lose Friends and Alienate People
Amazing how Simon Pegg has cracked Hollywood. Despite an all star cast, concept is weak and the plot is vacuous.
Tyson
Tyson – animal or poet? Never would have considered this question before but the film is genius enough to warrant debate.
Mirrors
Keifer is cool, the idea is cool, so why did this movie suck?
Pride & Glory
Colin Farrell and Ed Norton bash the shit out of each other in movie about cops getting pissed with cops.
Gomorra
Guns, spaghetti, attitude and sand in the face, Gomorra’s sorry take on modern Mafia life is a dirty slap in the face.
Jean Claude Van Damme
Muscles from Brussels is an instant hit as he combines art-house, self parody and action adventure. Awesomes!
Contemplation in preparation for my operation
Going in for my operation tomorrow. Back in November, I pulled a muscle (ripped a tendon from the bone) in my shoulder. It’s been getting worse, steroid injection helped – for a day. Wish me luck for tomorrow’s key-hole!
Have you ever polished a juggernaught?
Washing the Q7 was a mammoth task but the results were amazing.
Q7 swallows motorbike
Q7 doubles up as a black hole and devours a scooter. Naturally, none of this is true, but for the sake of literary license, please understand the validity of the claim.
The Day the Earth Stood Still
Holy shit Keanu you really fucked this one up. We thought the earth was ours. Please, Keanu – take it back.
Taken
If you’re gonna grab a girl, don’t make it the daughter of ex CIA fuck nut, Liam Neeson. Prepare for a rollercoaster.
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