Quick AMG Romance – C63

Early this year I had an opportunity to fill a car sized spot in my garage.

I didn’t want to go full on with anything exotic, but wanted a saloon car with 4 doors and a big engine. It really only came down to the M3 and the C63 and both offered very different propositions, despite practically identical layouts.

Both were big V8’s, both were saloon car layout, RWD and shared equal levels of german build quality wrapped in a quasi-Q-car package.

My decision ultimately came down to the noise. If you’ve never heard a C63 full chat, then please go and experience it. It’s intoxicating and has a genuine Nascar sensation to it. How they get these cars through type approval is a miracle but somebody somewhere is taking a massive bribe because it simply should not be legal.

I really didn’t get to spend much time with mine, but it was a PPP version which meant it came with the factory performance upgrade and had some great looking cosmetics. Unfortunately, it wasn’t until I got back to London from having bought it in Liverpool that I realised something was wrong with it.

Turns out the previous owner had stripped out the suspension and replaced it with some god awful aftermarket stuff. The garage who sold me the car offered to replace the whole kit for standard suspension but only offered to get it done at an independent garage.

reverbs across building facades with complete and utter indignation

This worried me so I agreed a buy back price which cost me £3,000 in the end.

I have rose tinted specs when thinking of this car. It was super quick for a saloon, but then with near 500BHP powering the rear wheels, it should be. I could plant my left foot on the brakes and floor the accelerator and within 5 seconds you’d be blinded by a thick, dense cloud of smoke whilst counting the dollar signs you were burning through the tyres you’d just vapourised.

I also do not like traction control on any car and often turn it off as soon as I’m comfortable. But in the AMG, that’s akin to leaving a suicide note. In the dry, it scarcely finds enough traction through its feeble rear wheels (which are grossly inadequately sized for this power) and it spins in almost every gear. In the wet, it’s a pure joke as the tyres just spin freely and the speedo actually does not go any higher. It’s not fun, just dangerous.

A very shallow learning curve though as the car wasn’t deep in its breadth of abilities, but it still had character. It was very comfortable, had beautiful interior that was well build and a level of quality you’d expect from a premium Mercedes model.

With fuel consumption often dipping to single figures (saw 8MPG once), it simply was not suited to road use day to day. I was filling up petrol almost every other day and it became quite ridiculous.

I loved the car. If the fuel consumption was any better and the rear tyres were fatter, I’d suspect this would be an incredible car. The noise is insane with aggressive throttle punches rewarded with the cackle and bangs of a rude hot rod on overrun as it pops through the night and reverbs across building facades with complete and utter indignation.

This car needs an ASBO. I know the M3 is probably a ‘better’ car. Dynamism and focus wasn’t the C63 strongpoints, but what you get is a hooligan with a massive powerplant and delightful audio cinematics. Better than a cup of coffee for sure.

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