Total Recall

What is it about reminiscing about these films of the 80’s and 90’s that trigger such fantastic memories?

Arnold is just not a good actor. No, really he isn’t. But what he had, he has carried through 40 years of film making is charisma and character. Protein buckets full of it.

So when we look back at the original cheese of films such as Running Man, Total Recall and True Lies (Goddamn that was a good film), then we can excuse the poor acting because, well, because it’s Arnie!

So Colin Farrell brings brings with him a certain lack of this je ne sais quoi leaving us to judge the film by its merits instead.

So, if there were an Oscar nomination for ‘Most Gratuitous Use of Lens Flare’, it would be without peer. Or, ‘Tactless Presentation of Kate Beckinsale’s Butt’, again it would stand tall, head above the crowd.

But there isn’t. It’s a 2 hour chase movie, the scenes of which largely are executed well with obvious acknowledgements to Blade Runner, urban backdrops rich with decay and technology. It’s also disappointing that it doesn’t follow the plot of the original and eschews it in favour of this localised trauma of North v South, although I have to admit ‘The Fall’ is a fantastic concept. It also has some excellent tech design, something I can relate to professionally.

There’s an excellent acknowledgement to the original during the airport scan, be sure to not miss it, it had me smiling. Add to that some pretty nifty robotic cops then you have the right ingredients, but it falls flat on its face with some preposterous scenes of unbelievable insult to the viewer that you can’t help but make your cup of tea WITHOUT pausing it.

And that, my friends, is the ultimate insult.