Call of Pripyat is the third in the trilogy (acting as Sequel to the original game, Shadow of Chernobyl) placing the gamer into the shoes of a STALKER, a bounty hunter, in the Ukrainian town that was affected mostly by the fallout, Pripyat.

It’s a fabulous world that feels as real as can be, sensitively depicting the desolate nature of your surroundings together with the shaman-like activities of other soldiers and stalkers around you as they fight in their own little battles in real time as they try to gain advantages in their own faction wars.

Graphically, it excels in dousing the world in this grey and green overtone that seems to have lost its colour, whilst at the same time illustrating some of the unnatural delights of a world affected by a man made catastrophe.

Although no role playing element is involved, there is character progression. Money is hard to come by in the world so you have to carefully purchase and manage both weapons and ammunition, of which there is a multitude of options. It’s armoury is typically diverse and ranges from cheap, sawn off shotguns that are found two a penny, right up to government special edition sniper rifles that can clean blow the head off an armoured man from 1km away.

The landscape is VAST and some of the locations are utterly terrifying. For the first time in my 30 years of game playing, I screamed at the screen, taking my headphones off and looking at my wife in an utterly embarrassed pose. It really did terrify me.

Being their third installment, it’s a lot less buggy than their previous iterations and gains from the obvious budget inflation and allocation to proper UAT testing. It’s not 100% perfect, but the gaming experience is.

10/10

The Lovely Bones is Peter Jackson’s take on the book of the same name, centering around the largely post-life deliberations of a girl witnessing the aftermath and shock to her family after she is abducted and murdered as a 14 year old girl.

It’s a heartrendingly tragic tale that swings from extreme grief and discomfort, to moments of joy and warmth, taking viewers through one of the most emotional film roller coasters of recent times. Although not any scenes of extreme violence, there are tense moments of anxiety that has your ribcage positively quivering from anticipation and dread. Most notable the part where you are thrown with claustrophobic effect, into the dungeon our abductor has created, to lure and capture Susie Salmon allowing us to bask in the dawning realisation that she isn’t getting out again.

As a father of two girls, this was extremely difficult to watch, but as a film lover, I was pleased with the method Jackson employed to pull at our grief strings in ways that were left largely to our imagination.

A very good cast of strong performances, from Mark Wahlberg’s grief stricken father, to the amazingly beautiful Rachel Weisz’s mother, wracked with pain enough to send her into oblivion.

No Jackson film is complete without a heavy heap of sugar by way of gratuitous special effects. A master of talent, we’re graced with amazing depictions of the inbetween world, with a kaleidoscope of colour and texture, blending fantastical locations with the inner workings of a 14 year old girl. These moments provide both a massive respite to the overall grief of the film but also allows Jackson to crack his knuckles in allowing him to do what he does best.

As we’re taken through the film, the single thing I found myself longing for was for some form of retribution and justice. I won’t give away the end of the movie apart from saying I was mildly satisfied.

7/10

Green Zone centers around the furor of conceit surrounding the ‘illegal’ Iraqi invasion. With Matt Damon a US Army Captain becoming aware of misleading intel that continually points to non-existent WMD’s, he becomes the fly in the ointment of USA foreign policy.

Caught between the truth of the CIA and the fiction of Government, his decisions lead us through a relatively enjoyable film that plays on the stereotypes of middle eastern sub-culture where everybody belongs to some sort of shadowy underground organisation and hates America.

Despite not having the intelligence and wit of Jason Bourne, Matt Damon is still very entertaining to watch; he’s macho and strong willed, allowing the audience brief moments of reward as he chases justice without compromise.

Having the most amazing helicopter crash ever on film goes some way towards leaving pleasant memories of the film, but it can’t disguise what was essentially a fairly average interpretation of what is a political hot potato. Some very weak performances, especially by Brendan Gleeson, a grade A actor in his own right, but simply unable to shake his strong irish accent making for cringeworthy dialogue.

6/10

I hope that has some affinity with you, for me it’s a name that stirs a sense of adventure, excitement, honour, chivalry, romance, discovery and exploration. In EPIC proportions.

It’s not often I get to play a game, unable to put down my controller, only to get to the end about 2 weeks later, only to start it again – right from the very beginning. As soon as the credits roll! But Mass Effect 2 is a master class in games making and demonstrates a magnificent achievement in interactive, cinematic gaming.

Explaining anything about this game is a risk to spoilers, so I won’t do so. Anyone familiar with Shepard’s shenanigans from the first game will have no problems getting stuck right in. Even up to the import of your previous character, ME2 dumps all the bad things about ME1 and amplifies all the things that made the original so god damn awesome.

With an incredible depth of dialogue and character interaction, you can shape the nature of your character through varied conversation choices, all ultimately affecting the way your character develops and that of the story itself.

The graphics are as good as anything you’d expect from a modern games studio, but the most captivating facet of ME2 is the sheer scale of the game. There is a sense of perspective presented to the player that immerses you so deep and so realistically that the feeling of ineptitude is washed over you as you explore one planet to the other, from one side of the solar system, to the other.

Combining this with a story line that wouldn’t look out of place in a hollywood epic, together with cinematics that shake to your very soul, I’m not hesitating to tell any 360 owners to get off their fat arses and BUY THIS GAME. This is a true 10/10 game guys and gals and they don’t come that often.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★★★ 

44 Inch Chest centers around our beloved Winstone and draws us even closer as the film unravels amongst the maelstrom of his mid-life whilst he regales us with tales of his wife’s recent departure. Surprise leads to shock, leads to grief, leads to anger, leads to violence. And here we have Winstone in his element, a blubbering wreck of a man, in the company of close friends providing support to a man who is quite clearly not all there. This sense of detatchment from his body gives him an unpredictable edge that provides the film with tense underpinnings from start to finish. As Winstone’s friends bring to him the reason for his wife’s departure, a sickeningly good looking, young, latino waiter, to justice, Winstone acts as judge and jury in deciding the fate of ‘loverboy’.

I’m a fan of the slow burner, preferring a film to dazzle me with dialogue, score and cinematography. 44 Inch Chest has championed these merits, but not without red faces. With a record breaking amount of C words in a film, it really isn’t one for the family. Most coming from the ancient John Hurt too, making the obscene language comical, if not surreal.

There is a finely woven list of characters in this too and despite the warm, friendly nature of each and every one of them, you know they’re not the type to meet in a dark alley. Ian McShane as Meredith is an addictive personality, an openly gay, yet smooth as silk govenor who shares anecdotes as they are dipped in honey and savoured by the audience. As for John Hurt, I’ve yet to see a 70 year old with so much grit and verve, he is a fiercely energetic actor and frightens and entertains in equal measure.

Entertaining and memorable, 44 Inch Chest is a true love story. Not the hollywood style of wishy washy romance, but the proper, married for 20 years love story. Watch and spread the word.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★☆☆ 

It’s shit. It has the worst character textures I’ve seen in the past 5 years, lacks the character development and intimacy of the PC version and has an inherent mundanity about it that made me take it back to Game, 1 hour after buying it and trading it in for an instant £30 loss. That’s how much it sucked.

Rating: ★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ 

PC version:

I had to check the title of this game as I just can’t believe it’s the same thing? A much bigger emphasis on the RPG element, it’s so much closer to the bloodline of Bioware games of yore, such as Balders Gate and Neverwinter Nights – both genre defining, benchmark games.
In 1600 x 1050 resolution, it also pisses on the 360 version and together with the top down, team based control method with the quickbar along the bottom, it’s been redefined.

It’s also a huge game as I’m discovering. Fingers aching already!

Rating: ★★★★★★★★☆☆ 

As a lover of film, I always try to see movies, especially those in particular I’ve been waiting for, with a clear mind. That will mean a mental black out of articles, reviews, films, trailers etc. With Avatar that’s been nigh on impossible and I think it’s one of the most hyped up movies of the past decade. Film posters everywhere, games, merchandise, McDonald’s – you simply can’t escape the machine. Unfortunately, I went to the movie expecting BIG things based on this hype. Amazingly, I wasn’t disappointed.

The story you all know, but for those at the back, we’re talking hoorah America seeking to ruin the natural and peaceful habitat of a biped race of people from a distant, lush, planet that appears to be home to a very valuable source of unobtanium. Cue, hired guns and mercenaries and dirty corporate tactics.

Meanwhile, our protaganist, the freaking awesome Sam Worthington, is part of a new experiment where he exchanges his (wheelchair bound, crippled) body for a fully functioning, genetically grown clone of one our alien lifeforms.

The first thing you notice, the thing that doesn’t change and the last thing you notice, is the jaw dropping spectacle of Cameron’s vision. In full 3D, on a large, digital cinema screen, it is a life changing experience. Cameron has been noted many times recently for claiming that Avatar will to for Cinema what Technicolour did in the 60’s. What we’re talking about here is a reinvention of standards and I welcome it with a massive grin and yelping gestures.

I donned a 3 hour smile through the most amazing looking film of all time. The Na’vi, in all their animated glory, are simply not a CGI backdrop and are a pivotal, real, tangible, part of this story, Last time I was taken in by so much character was with Golem.

As Jake (Sam Worthington) spends more time with the Na’vi, learning their culture and gathering inteligence as a home-made spy, he slowly starts to favour his avatar over his parked, paraplegic body and in doing so, becomes a ‘part’ of the Na’vi tribe.

What follows is a climax of maniacal proportions as the inevitable battle comes to a head with the modern tech of US Marines fighting against a spiritual breed of people that demonstrate strong ties with everything organic around them. To boot, I’ve always been an admirer of Cameron’s choice to always place strong, leading women and although we don’t have our Ripley or Sarah Conor, what we do have is a fabulous Neytiri, his female Na’vi ambassador. She is deliciously woven as a warrior/hunter woman and you can’t help but relate to the conflicted emotions of Jack.

Story is a little predictable, but if you’re a comic book fan you’ll love the sheer audacity of the plot, even if you occasionally grown inwards as the story unfolds. It’s typically American avant-garde, with the right dose of marine mentality, countered with the frequent self loathing and defecating quips of corporate greed.

A very very cool movie and I suspect James Cameron will be reveling in this achievement of having created a cinematic equivalent of the great Renaissance.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★★☆ 

p.s. you MUST MUST watch the 3D version. It’s a revelation.

It uses some very clever techniques that are a combination of Adobe Flash cutouts with classic animation, but the results are simply extraordinary. I’ve never seen animation, in the general sense, portray so much life in both character and surroundings. It’s a stark contrast as the film tackles some very heavy issues, from genocide in war, to mental degradation and psychological breakdowns. It’s moody, gritty and quite violent in places. There is no glory here, apart from attempting, successful, to recite mans folly in war especially when young of age – the attraction of war is a toffee apple and we are presented this by bright visuals and dynamic lighting effects that appear to be polish to a rusty collection of ill-fitting gears and cogs underneath. Secondly, I have to applaud the soundtrack. It’s a combination of orchestral, moody, middle eastern tempo and alternating 80’s and techno music. It’s always, perfectly placed with the action, or anti, on screen and does so much to heighten the importance of the scenes that ultimately unfold to its grizzly ending.

There’s also the dialogue. I’m a fan of world cinema, but the visuals are so breathtaking, especially in Bluray, that you simply do not want to tear your eyes off the delicious sights to read the subtitles. Regardless, I’m glad of the sub titles as the dialogue is brilliant – I’m familiar with the ’sound’ of hebrew as I live in an area rich with Jewish inhabitants and often it can come across as a little coarse and guttural, but somehow there’s a milky smoothness about the words batted between friend and gun partners. I found myself drawn into the intricately delivered facial expressions, the hand gestures and the odd shoulder shrug that so typically defines human reaction – something that is rarely conveyed so well in film, let alone animated.

As a historical lesson, those in the know claim it to be an incorrect portrayal of events. However, I felt it to be a heartbreaking tragic reenactment of a massacre of Muslim inhabitants in a film made my Jewish Israelis. If anything, it prompted me to do further research and establish some more facts on an incident I’d previously never heard of and I’d like to congratulate the film makers on such an astonishingly good achievement.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★★★ 

I think I can safely say that this is my perfect kind of movie. Slow building, classy, ridiculously good plot, superb soundtrack and haunting visuals.

Moon follows the life of an offshore engineer coming to the end of his three year contract. His utterly solitary life is a depressingly bleak presence on a vacant planet and the feeling of overpowering dread and near suicidal emotion is strong throughout as the film is bathed in dark colours, is devoid of familiar sounds and offers no comfort to neither our protagonist nor the audience as we suffocate in the hopelessness and despair of loneliness.

However, he does have a number of things to comfort him, such as the long distance, pre-recorded video messages from his wife and child on earth, providing him with incentive to drone on until his imminent collection and release.

A near fatal accident prematurely reveals the existence of a process involving engineers and their return, but discussing further provokes risk of serious spoilers – and boy is that a spoiler.

I’m a huge fan of Solaris, both the original and the much criticised remake with Clooney. Moon has many parallels, from the incredibly intelligent soundtrack down to the slow pace of the movie – both provoke existential contemplation with references to mans life in relation to the ‘grander design’.

Moon is a future classic and rates as one of the best films of 2009, if not the past decade. It’s one of those awesome films that has story and dialogue strong enough to support a stage play even in the absence of CGI. Imagine Event Horizon and Solaris, somewhere in that group of space dramas sits Moon.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★★★ 

This is truly the most terrifying film I’ve seen and a cinema experience to witness first hand. From the very, anxious early start to the story, right up through the build up of tension up until the climatic, blood curdling end, the audience were totally absorbed in the malevolence of the film. I witnessed two people, in separate incidents, get up and run out the cinema in fear. I saw grown men cower inside their hooded tops in a conflict between cowering terror and human curiosity. I witnessed adult couples arguing between whether they should leave or if they should stay.

Made from a budget of $15,000 by the two protaganists in the movie (it’s actually filmed in his own home), we follow a Blair Witch style handycam documentary / video blog of a couple who appear to be plagued by ever increasing displays of paranormal activity. Playing a tennis game between belief and cynicism, where the boyfriend is outright mocking of the events, looking for a factual reason for the tomfoolery, we also learn that the girl is a little more human in trying to associate the events by relating them to some form of personal experiences in her childhood past.

The movie is mostly based around the bedroom during the hours where the couple are asleep, but the genius of the film doesn’t come from what we’re shown or what we hear, it’s the things we can’t see or hear. The placement of the camcorder every night in a position that captures the couple sleeping, whilst to the left of the frame we see the open bedroom door leading to a dark corridor that darkens into oblivion, presents us with an unknown terror that plagues every fantasist when alone at night listening to the things that go bump. The juxtaposition of seen and unseen is simply genius and masterful in the art of composition and direction.

There is naturally a crescendo of activity that culminates in an ‘omg my blood has turned cold’ reaction each and every time and the ultimate gift to the viewers is the notion that here is a story you can take home with you. Being based in a real life environment, every single movie-goer can relate to this and I can guarantee everybody will go home after watching that movie and not treat their home in the same manner. My cinema partner that evening went home and slept with all the lights in the house left on.

This is true psycho-horror that takes advantage of society’s obsession with reality TV. Our protaganists become real people, we know them, they don’t appear to be acting in front of a camera and their actions are as candid as can be – all this paints a picture of realism that makes the unfolding events even more terrifying.

If you liked Blair Witch Project or REC, then please get into the Cinema to see this. It must be seen at the cinema because a) You need pitch black to watch the movie in as you eyes dart from left to right trying to see things moving in the dark and b) you need to have volume very high because believe me, you’re going to want to make out the sounds that go bump in the night!

Go see – a future classic.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★★★ 

There’s spectacular effort – it’s evident in every stroke, every thumbprint and every movement of limb and ligament. Stop motion has never appeared so characterful.

Clooney is perfectly placed as the voice of Mr. Fox with his suave cunning tested without his apparant good looks. Funny too – and the adult kind of funny.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★½☆ 

Labelled as ‘Disco Lento’, this modern take of new-romantic, slow disco and electro pop is a sickeningly stylish performance of what is quite a melodic piece.

Not in the habit of enjoying mainstream music, I’m silently, selfishly, hoping that there is no huge success to be granted, otherwise I will be deleting this post.

You can listen to them here:

http://www.myspace.com/ithurts

Rating: ★★★★★★★★★★ 

With 1929 black and white silent movie Man with a Movie Camera playing in the background and Cinematic Orchestra creating a unity of sound and vision, the magnificence of two distinct artforms clash to bring together a unique, unforgettable experience that only a tableau can replicate.

Orchestral, acoustic, epic – Cinematic Orchestra sit on top of a genre populated by few. A real experience.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★★★ 

Forza 3 is a spectacular driving game in the vein that SHOULD cause Gran Turismo some distress – and rightly so, that game is the biggest turd of the year with it’s awesomely unsimulator type handling, lack of crash damage modelling and, a bug bear for me, a complete lack of any skidmarks or wheelspin marks on the road.

It doesn’t boast the largest collection of cars on the market, but it does have all the coolest. On a HD plasma, it looks delicious, suffers no visible framerate loss and has a quality of audio that really makes excellent use of full surround.

Multiplayer is where this game lives and despite a slightly lacking matchmaking facility, once you’re in a full lobby, you are guaranteed a fabulously exciting arena for bumper to bumper racing that rewards the careful and punishes the wreckless.

This is the greatest car game ever made. Oh and with my special edition awesomes box, I have a funky keyring and USB stick too.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★★★ 

I’m pissed off with it for a few reasons.

1) Plot.
It really is the most random storyline I’ve ever seen. It hops, skips and jumps from one direction to the next and it appears to have arbitrary plots just so they can justify various token FPS levels. Airports, streets, shanty towns, houses – everything’s there but it’s a scrapheap challenge of game levels. I don’t mind so much the ‘Russia invading USA’ thing (World in Conflict spun that tale brilliantly). It’s just that there was no real fluidity and most of it made no fucking sense.

2) Single player campaign
I’m mainly pissed off with the relative shortness of the game. It was over way too quickly. On top of that, it’s got a pretty good skirmish kind of mode but some of them can only be played multiplayer and, well, we all know how we feel about that.

3) Super AI
I hate this on FPS game so fucking much. I will be prone on the ground with full camo army ranger gear – practically invisible to the naked eye, I’ll crawl along the ground slower than a snail, pop my scope from behind a barrel and BAM I get shot at from 2 miles away by a one eyed militant with an uzi. IT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE. Don’t do it. JUST DON’T.

[SPOILERS]

Having said that, there WAS some freaking typically awesome MW moments.
1) Jumping over that ridge in the snow-mobile was pretty rad
2) Jumping onto the helicopter ladder just as it’s flying away, in time to the crescendo of the spectacular soundtrack – this actually had me yelping out loud.
3) Dual Desert Eagles – I mean, we’re all blokes, right?
4) Mobile Sentry Guns are fucking brilliant. More games need this.

Overall, an excellent game in its own right, but I still think MW1 has it licked.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★½☆ 

Batman: AA is actually a book tie in, one I’ve had for many many years – it’s actually one of my favourite books. I was quite pleased to see the game adopt some of the more adult qualities from the book. The graphic novel still remains one of the most violent comic depictions of Batman and the game similarly takes its cues from the more dark characteristics of batman, rather than the camp.

There are two great aspects to this game. Apart from the fantastic use of some key, Batman technology, the combat scenes and the hunter/hunted scenes are some of the most absorbing to date. Swooping down on an inmate, dragging him and tieing him to a gargoyle before any of his friends notice is hugely satisfying. When you’ve got 8 guards to dispatch, you can sometimes spend up to a good 30 minutes patiently dispensing of them, one by one, each method becoming even more elaborate than the last. In contrast, if you want a plain old punch up (not recommended for armed assailants) then the combo system is brilliant, each successful attack adding to a multiplier than increases your effectiveness and strikes each time.

Replay value as yet unknown – I’ve completed it and will no doubt revisit it for its challenge mode, but otherwise a pretty good PS3 basher for short term love.

Rating: ★★★★★★★☆☆☆ 

It follows a documentary style reportage of aliens occupying a sector within South Africa as immigrants. Malnourished and underfed, there are stark contrasts between the way humans treat aliens (of both indigenous and extra terrrestrial types) and how they are treated simply as science projects and research material.

The film follows the plight of Sharlto Copley as Wikus van de Merwe, an out of depth senior representative of UN equivelent organisation. Tasked with relocating these aliens to a camp of questionable origin, using questionable illegal methods, Wikus finds himself infected with some sort of biological substance that starts to affect his genetic make-up. Suffice to say, what follows is a transformation, not only of physicality, but of stance and opinion, turning Wikus into an important Mandela’esque figure head.

The special effects are simply stunning, the action scenes are out of this world and acting, bar some wooden, token, meat head soldier roles, is exemplaray. I’ve read that Wikus’ entire dialogue is improvised. The unknown cast are superb and the South African taint adds a strangely believable ambience to an otherwise unbelivable settings.

I can see why Peter Jackson took Blomkamp under his wing!

Thoroughly recommended, go and see it on the big screen.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★★★ 

Containing many ‘wtf’ scenes as Tarantino often likes to splash into a screen, the defining element of Tarantino film is dialogue – and boy does he deliver. I found some of the most fantastic, tense, scenes of dialogue on this movie that had me biting my nails and grinding my teeth in suspense. Christopher Waltz as Col. Hans Landa is unquestionably one of the finest cinema characters of recent times.
His ability to juggle comedy with terror is unmatched and the movie is justified simply by watching him alone.

But as with everything in life, there are some flaws. For some reason, it was like a barmitzva in the cinema and every nazi killing was greeted with fanboy applause. In addition, the ending was a bit of a copout with some typically Tarantino ending. Otherwise, please please please check out the two femme fatales, they are simply delicious as both the cinema owner and the German actress.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★★☆ 

Regardless, a quality Iraq piece dismissing the token pretences of political righteousness in favour of a pleasing dramatisation of contrasting attitudes of soldiers who revel and shrink in equal measure in times of war and danger. Displaying the typical Amerikkaa!! gung ho mentality beautifully demonstrated by Watchmen’s ‘Comedian’, the adrenaline of intense danger is as powerful a toxin as any drug could be. Conversely we see the effects of war on those not suited to the environment. What follows is a pretty dramatic enactment of daily life in barracks. Most notable is the sniper section – not sure how realistic that was, but can certainly testify to the intensity of the scene!

Rating: ★★★★★★★½☆☆ 

Computer games have a horrible habit of portraying computer generated lead female characters as anime porn stars and apparently, we males are not happy playing said games unless we have a wave of CGI tits flashed in our faces and tight, g-string underwear doubling up as anal floss glamourised simply because we males need such frivolous titilation.

Transformers is just as guilty with every single shot of Fox a demonstration of her symbolic stature representing the pinnacle of what Holywood has to offer. How does she continue to pout with the deepest layers of lip gloss after having run 5 miles across an Egyptian desert? Why do I have to keep watching her breasts bouncing in sl0-mo as she runs through said deserts? I’m not 12! Please, stop it!

Right, rant over…

Transformers is the CGI fest of the decade. I watched this at the IMAX cinema and unfortunately, it was simply too much for my retinas to take on board. It’s like being locked out of a concert. You can hear the music and you know there’s a kick-ass gig going on, but you just can’t get in. Likewise with the movie, I’m sure it was amazing, but I came out of the cinema with a crooked neck, cross eyes and a brain that had swollen to the size of a small car.

From what I did see, there were some fabulous moments of creative genius, with CGI giant robots blending into the scenery as believably as the carpets were sticky. (they were, wtf was up with that?). All the robots have truly transformed into characters have are shaped by their actions and sacrifices and despite a poor storyline, the script was just a conduit for serious, OTT monster bashing, and that was just awesome. Megatron and Starscream again get away just in time to complete a trilogy, but I’ve no doubt Transformers 2 will become the home cinema bluray disc of choice.

Rating: ★★★★★★★☆☆☆ 

T:S is awesome. It’s the post-apocalyptic, doom-mongering, sci-fi, chase movie of the year. McG has done a fantastic job of injecting the ‘contemporary’ terminator models with the same level of malevolence and fear that we remembered from the original Terminator movie. Bale rocks as Connor, the young Kyle Reece is goddamn awesome and somehow has exactly the same voice tone/dialect that Michael Bhein had so many years ago.

It’s a clever action flick, combining all elements of Terminator lore into a non-stop hardcore metal to metal mash-em-up that had me wooing and cooing at each and every adrenaline filled scene. The SFX is unquestionably amongst the best I’ve ever seen, including Transformers 2.

There’s also one scene that practically made me poop and wee my pants – it’s so utterly cool but to disclose it now would class as a massive movie spoiler, so please, go and see this.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★★☆ 

Based from a book written by the awesome Neil Gaiman, Coraline is a girl perplexed by a life of boredom and transparency as she drifts from fathers presence to mothers without the attention she craves for. As she steps through a strange secret door she finds in their new home she finds a parallel world that mimicks her own, instead infused with colour, wonder and all the love she requires – that is until she discovers all is not well in this perfect universe.

Directed by Henry Selick, responsible also for the direction of Nightmare Before Christmas, Coraline is the next evolution of stop motion animation that features incredibly surreal visuals, with vivid colour, fantasy imagination and child-like wonderment. Couple this with next generation 3D and I was presented with a truly remarkable cinema experience.

We’ve been waiting for this new evolution of cinema for a short while now and having seen Coraline, I am excited abou the future of film. There were some spectacular scenes that really took advantage of the 3D trickery, with some amazing depth suggested on background images, whilst birds and bees hovered about the skies in front of you. Crazy thing was, 99% of the film was indistinguishable from normal film when your glasses were taken off. It’s a very impressive and effective new medium and worked very well, especially on such Tim Burton’esque material that thrives on touchy-feely environments.

The film itself is typically magical and displayed such care and attention to detail, all scenes despite their importance were a joy to basque in.

I took my kids, 2.5 and 5.5, the younger was nonplussed but my elder understood the concept more and was a little more upset by some of the visuals.

Excellent stuff.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★½☆ 

It’s been a VERY long time since I witnessed applause at the end of a movie in a cinema. Despite my acknowledgement and agreement of the overall sentiment, I withheld any physical displays of admiration to honour the film’s overall virtues; style, ambition, class and recognition.

Hollywood has been recognised as a prostitute lately, wheeling out old school franchises faster than Burger King tie ins. JJ Abrams has admirably stuck to his guns with this film and done a remarkable job of appeasing true Star Trek fans, incidental movie goers and, based on the final scenes introducing a future to the franchise, Hollywood execs.

The film is free of cheese and is really cleverly thought out. The way they introduce the new cast is genius as they bend time to introduce an alternate Starfleet universe based on the intervention of Nemo, the baddie. Lacking the gravitas of supervillians of yore, Eric Bana doesn’t have the Khan-like menace and gets by with pretty awesome makeup and a few harsh words instead.

Whoever was responsible for casting hit the nail on the head for each and every reinvented crew member. Every moment had you questioning “would Shatner do that?” or “would Nimoy say that?” and chances are, yes, they would.

Overall, a sharp, witty rehash of a lovable series that could have been very risky, but instead has injected adrenaline into an otherwise ageing franchise.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★★☆ 

Focusing on the spiral ascension of the female boxer, daddy Clint takes her on as his student and, haunted by a number of personal demons, fights to ensure both the dreams of his student and the restraint of his fears are met without the sacrifice of either.

Holy christ does the film take a turn and makes my recent shoulder operation seem like a carpet burn in comparison to what we’re put through. A depressing insight into how a dream, on the eve of achievement, is suddenly killed and replaced with a nightmare life that none can imagine.

Eastwood is truly a powerhouse and the fact that he wrote, directed and starred is a true statement of skill and merit. Gran Torino, rumoured to be his last outing, should be pretty damn kickin’ rad.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★☆☆ 

How to….follows this latter to a tee and is enjoyable only by the odd moment of comedy, but Kirsten Dunst really is difficult to watch in her constant, repressed, out of luck and knows it character, and combined with Simon Pegg attempting the cool guy role really leaves a film out of sorts with itself.

And yes, Megan Fox is ridiculously hot, but what first appears satirical slowly becomes creepily self gratifying. I read an article about her in Total Film a few weeks back where she was criticising her portrayal as somebody who offers nothing other than sex appeal. Naturally, this film did a grand job of fighting that perception!

Rating: ★★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆ 

Tyson, narrated, starring and about the man himself, is an unabashed, undressing of one of the most celebrated and followed boxers in the history of the sport.
Anybody of that generation will remember suddenly being magnetised to the sport as a result of Iron Mike Tyson and his animal like antics in and out of the ring. Personally, I can still remember his punches live on screen and feeling like the guy was a direct descendant of some Greek god. Anyone attempting to confront him in the ring was quite clearly already recipient of one too many punches to the face.

This is a candid dressdown of a boxer, nay, poet, who quite clearly came from humble beginnings and used fear as a motivation to become the world champion at such an early age.

To anybody who has followed the crazed aggression of the boxer in and out of the ring will be amazed to find so many hidden truths that reveal many of his acts of animal like activities were not as primal as once presumed. His parting words at his last fight are practically heartbreaking and respect must be given to the film maker for painting such a picture of warmth and compassion.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★☆☆ 

Mirrors really does start with a fantastic concept and is based on what I personally feel can be one of the most chilling story environments ever conceived, the derelict, abandoned department store. Originally penned by the writers of the 360 game Condemned, it’s full of fucked up ambience, from the warped soundtrack of loungecore background music, to the smiling, frozen faces of the many mannequins in the store, creating a pretty scary freeze-frame of caricatured life.

What this film does is take this cool story of this mocking spiritual malevolence that resides within these mirrors in the store and pumps it up to a level 10, heavy breathing, carlsberg drinking football ogre.

It could have been so much more but after the first 30 mins, apart from a few pretty sweet moments of ‘woah’, Mirrors relegated itself to the ranks of the Scream sequels of the past 10 years. Keifer was cool though.

Rating: ★★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆ 

Rating: ★★★★★★☆☆☆☆ 

Despite a 5 story parallel, I failed to spot any progressive narrative. It’s possible that this was an intended direction, focusing instead on abstract snapshots of day to day lives of criminal peons who failed to illicit any emotional tie to the viewer. However, the lack of any cohesion in-story was detrimental to what was essentially a very well imagined, acted and photographed take on an industry normally glamorised. In the world of Neapolitan Mafia, there certainly appeared to be no happy ending I wanted to be a part of.

Rating: ★★★★★★☆☆☆☆ 

As far as films go, it majors on originality and based in belgium, the film is French subtitled. This gives it that classic world cinema feel that often comes hand in hand with a seal of quality and JCVD doesn’t disappoint.

The film is interjected by a 2-3 minute monologue where VD confronts the audience and appears to break down, in his poetic/slightly unhinged way that these days is expected from him. The film captures in 90 minutes everything that has gone wrong with Van Damme’s career and highlights the issues that can always get in the way of a movie stars portfolio.

I really hope this kick starts the mans career again as he showed a metric fuck tonne of spirit – it can’t be easy to bare all without coming across as the cheap whores on reality tv programmes following ‘celebrities’ these days.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★☆☆ 

However, nobody told me I’d be sharing my acting space with an annoying 9 year old fuck face who would do nothing other than shit on my parade, annoy the audience and give reason to switch off.

Film makers note. 9 year olds do not have inner depth. They do not have wells of courage and they certainly do not, in their dread locked weird inter-racial, extra marital, noughties family, ‘reaching out’ kind of endearment, allow audiences to ‘connect’. I wanted nothing other than to punch him in the face and was rooting for GORT to take out his tools of Armageddon and exact his immediate revenge, first on the kid by eradicating his immediate existence, then onto Keanu for bothering with an argument in the first place.

Jennifer – I expected more from you.

Rating: ★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ 

Having daughters of my own allowed empathy with the subject matter and I found myself continually rooting for added violence as each and every kill became more and more elaborate.

Extras on the bluray disc had a kill-count on the top left which was mildly lol. Overall, a thoroughly under-appreciated film that has placed Neeson in a previously impossible role of super-dude with a vengeance. Excellent.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★★☆ 

What, however, can one say about Watchmen – perhaps the first ever comic book adaptation that has been made almost exclusively for the comic book fraternity. As a casual viewer, it’s easy to become confused as to the WTF element regarding many of the characters. Who the hell is Dr. Manhattan? How does he use his powers? Where did he get these gifts from? Who the hell is the old woman in the home? As a die hard fan of the book, I was delighted to be shown the respect and admiration for the original works that appeared so flawlessly on film.

Although this isn’t Snyder’s first comic book attempt, with his almost carbon copy replication of the book 300 into film, there was no doubt as to the mans ability to translate from ink to film. And boy has he succeeded.

Each and every character has been lovingly matured on screen, up to the point where the affinity between viewer and screen hero is rendered complete, as you realise apart from Dr. Manhattan, they are just flawed human beings with costumes.

I watched this movie on the Odeon Leicester Square digital screen and it looked absolutely gob smacking. The colour definition was so surreal, you could well have been turning the pages of a live comic book fresh off the press.

Even though Alan Moore, writer of the book, condemns hollywood for continually fucking up comic book adaptations, I suspect Watchmen has set a new precedent in this genre – it IS possible to create an adaptation without them muddying concepts with what they believe the viewing audience wants from a movie – romance, tragedy, action. It is entirely acceptable to make films based exactly on the comic books without introducing nauseating Hollywoodisms -dancing spidey? Eugh….

In my book, you’re not a true gamer unless you know, off by heart, the button combinations to Ryu’s fireball and dragon punch.

Game looks fantastic, great evolution of the anime beat-em-up. Sound effects are equally spot on, with the arcadey synth music doing its bit to keep up a frantic pace.

My fingers are swollen, though, after an hour at it, and the genius XBOX Live instant matches have pitted me against cyberathletes who demonstrate their satanic passion to punish combo amateurs like myself, or show that truly the genre has not aged as I have…

Perhaps claiming to be a product of the Playstation generation isn’t a kudos earning statement anymore, considering it’s a 10 year old platform, that’s hardly surprising I guess.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★☆☆ 

Without giving too much of the plot away (I’m sure you’ve guessed most of it already), Button continues the tale as those around him get older, he inexplicably becomes younger.

Having drawn many comparisons to Forrest Gump, I found a much more intellectually stimulating story that questions so much of life that we take for granted; so much so in fact that I found myself wanting to go straight home and grip the hands of my girls in longing. I imagine those who have been affected by strong emotions relating to either birth of death will find it difficult watching this film without being moved by it’s tale of morality and it’s impending inevitability. We witness the two main characters, Cate Blanchett and Brad Pitt, having a moment in their lives where for a fleeting moment, there is a crossover of ages where they are perfectly matched for each other. But it’s at that moment that we come to recognise the futility of our efforts in chasing ambitions that are not spiritual in nature, essentially ignoring the most important moments in our life and failing to recognise that every moment in passing is a memory either lost or confined to the vaults of the mind – forever.

CGI has been used to incredible effect, true to the age old statement that if you don’t notice the CGI, then the film has succeeded in the art of illusion. Seeing the elderly characters, an aged version of Brad Pitt in his 80’s, looking upon with the world with wonder as though he were seeing it for the first time, was a startlingly charming experience that inevitably made Pitt’s character immediately priceless and enjoyable. Conversely, seeing an 18 year old Pitt was also striking (Blanchett exclaiming “My God, you’re perfect!”), not only in the moment, but as an example of future possibilities using this technology – we should prepare to see a new Holywood blockbuster soon, starting Marlon Brando.

The inevitable ending was all the more difficult to absorb based on the love you had for not only the character, but the impact on those around him – the one thing we simply have no control over, regardless of power or money, is time. No story does a better job than this in reminding us about that fact.

Every so often a film comes along that has you philosophising the if’s and the why’s of a film after a viewing. I’ve no doubt this will provide a basis for social commentary for a long time to come.

I once joked to a close friend of mine that my children leave me no opportunity to sleep as they invade our bed in the night, only to have me relegated to the spare bedroom. I was told, in ways only experience can do so, to cherish those moments as there will come a time, when your kids will simply not want to even see you.

I will take my hat of to this film for reminding me how precious the moment is, and to stop living in either the past, or the future. Please go hug someone you love.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★★☆ 

As for the story itself, there’s approximately 10 minutes of dialogue free film in the beginning and testament to the storytelling pace that it takes no words to cement your attention, it really is an amazing tale that has you sympathising with the hard nosed ethic of Lewis, ridden free of all morality in his pursuit of riches.

This is Daniel Day-Lewis as you’ve never seen him before.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★★★ 

The story almost plays second fiddle to the incredible parts played by the respective ring masters as the dialogue kept me enthralled right until the dramatic climax that cemented the career of Frost until the end of his days.

A disturbing insight into the corrupt, inexcusably ambitious political nature of the white house during the 70’s, both Michael Sheen and Frank Langella woo audiences as they dance in front of the camera in this balletic show of acting prowess – a delight to witness.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★★☆ 

Battlefield, as a series, is a successful franchise that has garnered popular internet support for it’s fast past unique internet gameplay mechanics.
Bad Company, the latest in the line, didn’t receive rave reviews but I dusted this copy and had to comment on something about the game that really blew me away and has had me come back time after time, even after completing the single player campaign.

It’s got a well paced squad based mechanic, where you are a member of a 3 man squad in the pursuit of gold. The humorous dialogue lends itself humanised characteristics which go a long way to turn this into what appears to be a very believable contemporary FPS war game. It’s got excellent environmental damage unlike any I’ve seen before and some of the more destructive weapons (how about a radio which gives grid reference locations to remote artillery guns?) provide hours of smash-em-up gameplay. You literally leave entire towns and villages in smouldering ruins and suffocating smoke.

However, it’s the sound effects of this game that amazes me. Taking an AK47 into an unfurnished building, crouching under the window and taking blind shots outside provides the kind of ridiculously realistic echos and reverbs in your room that causes your kids to run crying to their mothers and my neighbours to jump into air-raid shelters. The sheer scale of various weapons mean there are definite benefits from one rifle to the other and dropping your M60 for an RPG adds a great strategic consideration to the game.

I’ve not even started talking about tanks yet – blowing the top of a building off with your tanks can be hugely satisfying.

Rating: ★★★★★★★½☆☆ 

Well, he’s carrying the Orbital DNA for sure. This album is much more familiar to me, a die hard Orbital fan who’s followed their every direction since the 90’s, and keen listeners will see very obvious Orbital tell-tale signs, from the electronic synths to the mix of electro and vocals to excellent effect.

Musically, the style is different enough to not be labelled a solo Orbital act and I’m sure both Hartnoll’s are desperate to eradicate comparisons to their roots, but when there is obviously a distinct blood line to your heritage, it’s hard to avoid the labelling.

I’m still more fond of his instrumental works on this album but will still afford some patience for his departures. There’s a couple of tracks that are almost classic in nature, certainly acoustic and less electronic, I’ll say thanks, but just more of Patchwork Guilt please.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★☆☆ 

It’s not often that a movie is released where I am desperate to watch in the cinemas within the first week of release. Quantum of Solace was the last one and I think Incredible Hulk was before that. I suspect the whole of Hollywood has got together to ensure Rourke’s knockout performance (awesome eh?) return is met with the adulation and respect it deserves.

Personally, since The Fountain, I’ve become a huge fan of Darren Aronofsky and genuinely hope he continues to take charge of film making without folding to the pressures imposed upon them by the studios in the way most directors cave in. His directorial confidence has brought a unique documentary feel to this movie, charting the trials and tribulations of a man who fell off the horse onto the donkey. Fact is, the subject matter could be anything – he could be a singer, an artist, a race car driver – the story of redemption, sacrifice and the indomitable pursuit of self belief transcends all humans and can be demonstrated by everyone given the right circumstances. A poignant tale of one man’s fight to keep a long lost dream alive, the trail of destruction left by Rourke goes unnoticed by himself until it’s too late to pick up the pieces.

One can only feel humbled by the unremitting strength of Rourke and understanding his challenges should help everybody in recognising the higher you are, the harder you fall.

I mean, god dammit, Aronofsky is fucking making RoboCop for fucks sake!! My party starts now!

Rating: ★★★★★★★★½☆ 

Left 4 Dead continues this trend by wrapping a fast pace zombie apocalypse shooter within a game world that is terrifyingly real, if not believable, whilst including the single most important thing for long term playback value – co-op play.

I’ve been playing this game now since its launch day almost obsessively. Over Christmas I clocked up enough hours to embarrass me into not disclosing publicly the figure. As a fan of the Half Life series, the fast paced action sits perfectly between your FPS brain dead game such as Quakeworld or other death match titles and the more strategic titles such as Counter Strike Source. In fact, I’d go as far as to say that this offers far more strategic compensation that results in the apparently infinite replay value.

Versus mode is naturally the piece de resistance. By placing you and your team in the control of the enemy zombies, taking down an opposing team of survivors is a perversely satisfying experience. The first time my boomer vomited on an unsuspecting survivor, attracting my zombie hordes, I grinned so violently I think I scared myself.

With the community already in a frenzy with mods and upgrades, the game is guaranteed a prosperous life. I’ve already committed ridiculous hours to it and every new play brings new strategic considerations that continue to add replay value.

Best game I’ve played since the original Halo. I wish Valve all the success in continuing to provide us gamers with such awesome, quality titles.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★★★ 

I was drawn to this album after obsessively following the Hospital Records podcasts.

We’ve taken a 200g of Nightmares on Wax, added a tablespoon of Latin House and mixed with a healthy portion of beginners drum and bass. You may be happy to listen to this playing quietly as background music, but as a supporter to a musical genre that should in essence force your feet to move uncontrollably, I wasn’t motivated.

It’s easy listening, but too bland to repeat playback with no real tracks that stand out.

Rating: ★★★★★☆☆☆☆☆ 

So for those who are looking for something to chew on after an Orbital drought, you may find a few things here that fill the void, but overall I felt the album is without identity, refusing to inherit any genre in the name of experimentation.

It almost feels as though they’re dipping their toes into the water and unable to commit to a style, so eclectic is this album. You have Electro pop, ambient, trance, techno, american garage emo, – it’s all here.

Lie Down is a beautiful voyage that hits all the right spots for me and is an oft listened track, as is Punky and as with a couple of other tracks, they both share Orbital DNA. Your Face, a strangely unfitting piece to this album that is out of harmony with the style of the surrounding tracks.

There are moments of greatness but are tainted by some of the more mainstream vocalised tracks which I feel are a little to Europop for the likes of what Orbital fans look for.

Still, we’re not looking for Orbital as this quite simply isn’t and as a experimental departure it hits some refreshing points. I’m bought.

Rating: ★★★★★★★☆☆☆ 

This is truly a worthy special edition that sits pride of place amongst my comic book collection. Beautifully told stories that are truly epic in scale with breathtakingly grand artwork that accompanies. Sandman glamorises simple stories of family, duty and honour in a way that transcends time, social circumstance and societal obligations.

Sandman represents the things we take for granted by humanising aspects of life humans fear and embrace in equal measures, such as death, dreams and desire – characters brought to impressive life by Gaiman.

I now have all 4 of these special editions and will cherish them till I die.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★★★