Been a while since I had second thoughts on selling a car. Looking around on forums, it’s quite clear that this green car had touched more than a few chords. It went in today for an inspection at JZM and it passed with flying colours which perversely, made me more upset. Knowing the car was immaculate and, I quote, “The cleanest RS I’ve ever seen”, made me want to just keep it forever.

I had cherished and worshipped the car with much wax and tears. In the 5000 miles I did over the past 6 months, it made me smile at every mile.

It was also the most dramatic 911 I’ve owned as it garnered enough attention from the public to make it a minor celebrity. I will be back in a 911 GT3 before long, they are too good to be away from for too long.

So, no more spine tingling at 7500 RPM. No more expertly crafted, precision engineered cornering characteristics. No more drifting on bends at 45 degree angles, carefully balanced by throttle and steering input so delicate and flexible that each 500rpm on the rev range provides another +/- degree of attack. No more raucous sport button induced reverb off low, brick walls as you pass them. And finally, no more staring at perhaps the finest green ever placed on a car after applying a thick layer of expensive wax.

Right, enough tears, what’s next?

Sport chrono
Centre console painted body colour
Harnesses
Alcon JZM discs
RS29 pads
Uprated brake fluids

The car has had no expense spared in my care and is set up already by Fearnsport for geometry. It was also inspected by them prior to my purchase and Matt said it was almost showroom condition.

What’s wrong with it? Not much really. It needs a touch up where there are a couple of small stone chips on the bonnet and it also needs a new set of tyres (still on original set). I would replace them myself, but a new prospective owner may have a preference. Other than that, it wants for nothing.

I’ve just had a stamp from Porsche East London for its recent service and I’ve also just taken out the all important Porsche International Warranty together with the roadside assist module. My recent bill there was almost £3,000.

I’ve also just purchased a new front splitter so the car looks fantastic.

Looking for £77k.

I hope Nathan doesn’t mind me using his images.

It’s that situation that plagues me now, where only a couple of days ago, in fact only a few hours ago, the mere thought of a new car was but a distant impossibility. Now, having evaluated my boredom, I’ve come to the conclusion that I need at least another two cars. Let me explain….

Anybody who reads these inane ramblings will no doubt understand that nothing is ever rational, nor is it borne from a school of logical thought. Our ideas are as fleeting as the British weather so they carry neither rhyme nor reason.

However, it is quite clear that I need some form of every day transport. No, I do not drive to work, but that is, of course, irrelevant. I simply need to have transport that would carry me with comfort, style and not without some power. I was at a petrol station last week late into the night at the motorway services. Anybody who’s familiar will know that these can be ghostly arenas late at night devoid of traffic both in mechanical and human variety. As I pulled up to the pumps, there was a car in front of me that had overtaken me a short while ago on the M1. As I got out, the driver was getting into his car having filled up and paid his duties and made to pull off.

The sound of his engine starting was a cerebral shock. How could such a once respectable, mass manufacturer of quality executive class cars be so irresponsible in their creation of something so unholy. Not only did my trousers vibrate in its wake, but I also did not notice that I had embraced a fierce smile that would have placed my sanity to the duty attendant into question.

The car, of course, was an AMG C63. 6.2ltrs of V8 goodness. SIX POINT TWO LITRES. How did that thing get through planning stages at Mercedes? Was it an April Fools joke, played upon the board of directors that someone was forgotten about as it got passed onto product development??

Regardless. That night, I was on Pistonheads classifieds pouring over these immense, German hot-rods. I’ve given up trying to justify it to the wife and have already considered contract hire rates versus 2nd hand options. Having chatted to a few ex-owners, it’s quite clear that they leave a positive lasting impression where they often regret the sale. One friend said his C63 was so awesome, he actually got run over by his own car as someone attempted (successfully) to car jack him during a faux sale process.

Am I certifiable?

I’ve decided to sell the RS and it’s time for something that isn’t 911 shaped. I’m on my 5th GT3 and I’m getting bored of hearing myself wax lyrical about them. It really isn’t very becoming of me to continually bleet about a car so obviously brilliant. It’s sickening, really it is. It’s also utterly mental that I want to sell something that is so obviously brilliant too. It’s superb to look at, utterly intoxicating to drive, aurally stimulating and people love to watch, listen and ride in it. So why on earth am I thinking of selling it? Because, my non-existent, imaginary, binary friends, the grass is always greener.

What were my choices then? In no order of preference:

Ferrari 599
Ok, let’s just get this one out of the way. I like my V12 Ferraris, except I can never seem to afford them until they are at the end of their cycle run. Sub £100k is where I’m at, so Mr. Fiorano, another day perhaps.

Audi R8
Now that prices are down to sensible levels, there’s a lot to like about Audi’s offering. There’s also a sprinkling of choice, from V8 to V10 to the Spyder. Each model has its merits and they all make for a compelling argument. There’s real world practicality to consider, then there’s the every day accessible supercar performance coupled with a fantastic soundtrack. Aesthetically, it’s a bit of a disappointment in certain companies.

Porsche (insert a billion acronyms here)
The whole reason I have itchy feet is because I want to try something different. So that rules out a GT2, which I’ve been eyeing up for a while. I haven’t been as excited about a car in a long time as I have about the GT2RS. By all accounts it’s a monster and one of the fastest production cars ever. Georg Kacher, awesome Car journalist, recounts:
“I’m not sure that there exist enough Walter Rohrls to fully realise the true portential of the ultimate rear-wheel drive 911. Porsche can guarantee that the GT2RS has every piece of technology to humble any Ferrari, Lamborghini and Bugatti. Except, perhaps, an adequately talented driver.”
Colour me shallow, but that’s just a red rag to me. I fancy myself.
As for the GT3RS, I’m still a bit pissed with Porsche’s attitude to the whole sales process. I sent another email to Porsche GB asking them why, when I had been denied a car, were there well over a dozen cars currently for sale at speculators. I got no reply. Still, I shouldn’t cut my nose off to spite my face and it takes a fool to deny the GT3RS the merit it deserves – it truly is a spectacular car, I will have one next year I suspect when the prices settle down. At the moment, it’s not £40k better than my current car.

Which leaves me with only one other option. A phone call was made earlier today. :)

“But Dawg, the VW is a train wreck of a car, what the Christ?”

I know the Touareg was awful, but this is the new 2011 car completely rebuilt and redesigned. It’s got the 3.0TDi, mated to an 8 sp auto gearbox. With over 200kg shaved off the car it replaces, it can only be a major step forward.

It’s ridiculously cheap too as VW have introduced the car to the market with some excellent contract hire rates – it should make for relatively cheap motoring. Fully loaded with sat nav, full leather and a host of other mod-cons, I’m looking forward to it.

Oh I’ve also gone for pimp white with pimped windows. God have mercy.

Best image of the car I can find here

In honour of this tradition, the 997 Turbo Convertible and I did check each other out in the reflection a couple of weeks back, when the weather was glorious, that one weekend where we had 32 deg sunshine all day. Yeah fine, shoot me, but it was a perfect day for many reasons and glancing at that oversized Gap shop window, I couldn’t help but feel I was blessed with the luck of the gods for that afternoon. And I felt that the bond was complete.

There I was, sat in that car, good looking woman sat in my side, the shopping bags of excess in the back seats, hood down and the world at my feet. Suddenly, I understood the joys of owning this car. Granted, that kind of day comes once a year, if that, and you need to weigh up the incredible sense of wellbeing generated on that one summers day, versus the remaining 364 days of depressing rain in the UK. It has, after all, been a cloudy summer ever since that day and I’ve not seen a clear sky since.

Of course, that’s a harsh assessment, but it does imply some truths. Life’s all about balance and that sliding scale is adjusted according to the kind of person you are. For me, that one particular day, cruising around in central London, posing in a car pretending to be 2011 summer-wear catwalk model, judging by the sheer number of photographs taken of the car, was so obscenely awesome that the compromise was almost worth having to drive the car with the hood up for the rest of the year.

And it is a car about excesses and perfectly suited to the life of someone who spends a lot of time in central london. The black wheels really set off the car and it gains both admiration and derision in equal measure, probably for the same reason. It demonstrates a type of lifestyle which even I succumbed to, even if it was out of my own reach in reality.

The lazy tiptronic gearbox works terribly when in pursuit of raw thrills, but for cruising around town, soaking up the sun, it was merely sufficient as it gently shifts from one long ratio to the next, allowing you instead to bask in your own glory.

Make no mistake though. Even though the tiptronic makes brisk progress difficult (the gears were way too long for a turbo charged car with such a specific power band), once you did get those turbos spooling, it really was a very quick car and I suspect there’s no more effective a way of giving yourself a scalp massage. I remembered later on when I drove my RS again I was almost slightly underwhelmed by it’s power delivery. Almost.

Frankly, the only reasons for disliking this car can be very quickly made better by adjusting the options list. Dump that awful gearbox in favour of PDK, get a better, thick rimmed steering wheel and maybe even add the letter ‘S’ to the boot.

I was actually quite upset to see it go, even if i was comforted by the approach of imminent rain. Since then the weather hasn’t been anything like it was for that week I had the car and that’s consolation in itself, as I’d have been truly depressed if it was.

Would I swap my RS for one? I’d almost certainly consider it. Given how few track days I’ve done this year, the RS is almost wasted on the driveway. Lately I’ve been needing to drive to work in the City a lot and in the RS that’s been an exercise in self control and tolerance. Only today I attracted the unwanted attention of City police again, driving erratically, swapping lanes often and doing, wait for it, FORTY miles per hour. I’m just a giant animated bill board on wheels selling crack cocaine to small children. The Turbo in contrast was a joy with it’s compliant suspension, four seats, auto box, sat nav and Bose sound system. I will stress though, this car needs a companion in the passenger seat, perhaps even in the drivers seat. Just make sure he/she is good looking!

It’s a fabulous car and if you can afford such a luxury as a second toy, nothing really ticks as many boxes. It massages your ego, tickles the senses and fools you into a false sense of delusional grandeur. I know, I’ve changed my tune somewhat. But I guess that’s what a few days of awesome weather does. It puts this car totally into perspective. It’s not a pure drivers car in the manner I’ve come to judge. A quick drive in the RS yesterday up and down the road had me reversing back into my garage with my heart beating and my legs shaking – no joke. But the Turbo offers itself as a driving pleasure that can only be truly savoured at the right time and the right place. Reach that zenith and you’ll have your awakening.

Excuse me whilst I engage in the pastime enjoyed by all car enthusiasts the world over, I’m just going to pour over the classifieds.

Have always been curious on the merits of the 911 Turbo. Having driven a GT2 a few years back, I remember the ferocious power delivery of that scarcely manacled beast. However, time has moved on since then and our perceptions and benchmarks have shifted somewhat.

Glenn has just taken delivery of a Gen 2 Turbo S Convertible. In an almost unbelievably coincidental display of fate, my courtesy car has ended up looking identical to Glenn’s Gen 2 in all but detail. His car is positively savage and it’s one of the few 911’s you can hear before you can see it, with the most unholy induction noise you’ve ever heard. Coupled with a PDK gearbox, his car should be criminalised. To think that you cannot buy alcohol in an unlicensed place, but you are able to walk into a showroom and buy this missile is surely a parody sketch on the state of modern day society?

Regardless, “Speed is relative” I remind myself as I set into my ’standard’ Turbo. It’s a Gen 1, which means it’s a 3.6, rather than a Gen 2 3.8. It’s also not an S, which gives leaves it with 40BHP less at 480BHP. It’s still a powerhouse of an engine with each overtake acting out as giant lunges through traffic, chomping huge chunks of road and cars, sucking up every object into its airbox, tied down or not. It becomes comedic and you have to shift your sense of what’s possible when you overtake cars as everything is SOOO easy.

Select gear, nail throttle, wait for the lag, count to one, two…whhooOOOOSHH and you’ve got warping stars, Millenium Falcon style. With the hood down, tears start to stream as you realise you way past triple figures and you’re desperately trying to readjust your sunglasses that seem to have made their way around to the back of your head. As you haul hard on the brakes (because you really had no idea just how fast you were approaching that car!), you repeat the process again. Over and over and over.

The brakes work fantastic, if a little out of sorts with the chassis. I’m not certain if this was isolated to this particular car, of if I’ve been warped by the rigidity and hardness of a GT3, but the 911 Turbo can’t seem to escape a somewhat lofty personality under hard braking, with the nose dramatically pointing downwards under heavy braking. Also under hard throttle, the car does the opposite with your headlights pointing to the birds in the sky.

But the one thing that kills the car is also the one thing that I cannot forgive nor ignore; the gearbox. I’ve never driven a tiptronic before, why anybody would spec such a magnificent car with such a travesty in technology is an enigma. If you see any Porsche’s with tiptronic gearboxes, I’m telling you right now, the owners can’t drive for toffee. It’s simply a glorified automatic.

Shifting it to manual mode, you are granted with two steering wheel buttons. Up and down. When it carries out those actions, however, is really down to how the gearbox is feeling at the time. Shifts actioned by the button rarely get carried out exactly when you want them, especially if coupled by an urgen, nailed throttle. This delay in shifting gears often has you bumping on the rev limiter, forcing you to recalibrate as you end up having to shift 2 seconds before you really need to. Electric, eh?

We live in a colourful world filled with subjectivity. That’s why I can comfortably say I could never buy a Turbo. It has none of the electricity of my GT3 that allows me to enjoy and cherish each hurried gear shift and subsequent pinning of the throttle, giving out that scream, filling my ears with ecstasy and meaning. The Turbo also doesn’t have the immediacy that you come to expect from a N/A car. Accelerating in the Turbo almost requires forethought and planning as you end up acting out all movements 2-3 seconds before you need to, just to get around the turbo lag. That is huge fun at times, but rather dangerous at others, as you occasionally try to take advantage of small, immediate gaps in traffic.

And I tell you what, nobody let’s you out of traffic in a white turbo cab! Big drive this weekend, I hope the weather’s good so I can respond with an informed decision.

Four days at the Nurburgring, two of which would be on bikes, two days at Spa, an incredible cross country drive demonstrating some of the most verdant, beautiful coniferous green lands between Germany and Belgium and a solid helping of 30 deg heat throughout is surely a recipe for any petrol head.

Include the tools of surgery, them being two green GT3 RS’s and two Nissan GTR’s, and we’re either going to get into a massive fight or gain divine insight into the makings of automotive heaven.

The bravado had started months before, of course. Depending on which car you owned, the GTR was either an extraordinarily advanced automotive equivalent of HAL, leaving very little for the driver to do, or a revolutionary step in motoring, raising the bars of expectation. Similarly, the GT3 was either a prehistoric remnant of a romantic ideal no longer suitable for today’s audience, or it was a precision, scalpel like device that rewarded it’s drivers as much as it demanded from them. Either way, hearts would be broken, egos bruised and lap times championed.

It still surprises me just how much attention the green RS gets both on the road and in the paddocks. Put two of these cars together and the effect is amplified further. On motorways, other enthusiasts jostle, sometimes dangerously, as they undertake, overtake and pull over, with cameras in hand, just to be part of the convoy. The two GTR’s equally attractive, doing their bit for the decepticons, resplendent in their high tech paint work echoing shadows of Transformers-like aggression.

The three evening sessions Thursday to Saturday at the Nurburgring are to be the most sane of the whole week. As the weather showed signs of glory, every car club in northern Europe descended upon the place creating both a Mecca for car fans, but also frustration for those wanting to do some laps. Most people choose to use the ring carpark for posing, with many others having to queue for up to an hour just to get into the car park. Saturday we couldn’t even get on to the track as some banzai driver binned his car on his first out lap, causing the circuit to close for the whole day.

That’s the risk out there. I must have counted at least 15 trashed cars in 4 days and countless ambulances ferrying drivers to the nearest hospital. Its both a problem and, perversely, part of the attraction as adrenaline addicts flock to do the (£15!!) laps, oblivious to the threat of death. With tyres squealing at 165MPH, there simply is no time to contemplate mortality.

Sunday, being the only true all-day tourist day, open from 8am until 7pm, was a true comedy day. To think that our actions were completely legal must have been a sick joke upon the Germans. As a group of four, we bullied our way across the ring as we raced, raved and raped the german track and its inhabitants. Back into the ring car park, I removed my sweat drenched helmet and felt with guilty pleasure the buzz of having enjoyed yet another eight minutes of knife edge recreation unavailable anywhere else in the world.

So which car is the ring daddy? No doubt about it, the GTR is simply unbeatable. It quite literally has been built with a single purpose in mind, to dominate the ring and it does with aplomb. The GT3’s are out powered, out handled and out techno’d by a car fit for the 21st century. Not only does it have enough power to rotate the ring around the car itself, but its clever 4WD system makes the deploying of that power so damn efficient, it does not waste a single BHP in transition. The ring has many uphill sections which makes mince meat out of the normally aspirated GT3’s, without the torque, they just cannot compete.

Still, there’s no doubt that the Nissans are one track wonders. With soaring transmission and engine oil temps, the cars are unable to do more than one lap effectively. Add to that a 4 lap fuel tank, melting tyres and overheating brakes and the allure starts to diminish.

If lap times are your ultimate goal, then the GTR is unbeatable, but there are huge compromises as mentioned. The RS’s in contrast are bulletproof in comparison. Respectively, the Porsches are back-to-basics cars with little technology aside from chassis and handling expertise.

Incidentally, we did two laps of the ring on our mountain bikes. If you have a cycling interest then you MUST attempt this opportunity. We did the bike ride during an endurance race at the ring. It really was a spectacular, challenging and unique ride that had you following the 24km circuit around the outside.

Spa was a totally different story and all were amazed at the stark differences in car performance between the Nissans and the Porsches. To put it bluntly, the GT3’s were right at home as the cars were surgically woven from one bend to another in the fast, rapid switchbacks offered at Spa. The 1800kg weight on the GTRs could offer no comfort to any amount of technology as the GT3’s danced from one section to the next, deftly balancing braking, power and chassis dynamics.

Finished off a wonderful day at Spa by destroying a set of rears with some synchronised drifting with Richard Meaden. He was at Spa with a Porsche GB Gen 2 GT3 press car, Dickie can peddle and made for many awesome laps. When my fuel trip computer showed “– miles” in range, I then stayed out for another 5 laps, thats how much I was enjoying myself at risk of coasting the starved engine to a standstill. Got some nice drift footage which I’ll put up as soon as I get the DVD.
Edit: here it is

But the most memorable snapshot I brought back with me is an insanely beautiful drive across Europe as we took a scenic route between Germany and Belgium. Suddenly, lap times don’t matter and all we’re interested in is the noise of each others’ downshifts and throttle blips, no matter the car of choice. As we briskly accelerate between narrow tree lined roads, the sound of our exhausts reverb off the low walls bouncing back into our open windows hand in hand with the glorious sunshine of middle Europe.

It really is a defining experience of what makes the perfect motoring moment. The unnecessary heel and toeing, the intentional aggressive throttle between 3k-4k rpm, forcing the butterfly valves on the exhaust silencers to open and close at will and the physical leaning into each and every bend making the travel across this time locked land a magical experience as we chased the sun into the west.

I am naturally biased but with £100k in the bank, would I choose a GT3 again, or buy a GTR and put £40k away? Let me just say I have no regrets.

Edit: First video posted. Host car is Glenn’s, chasing mine.

Saturday morning and I’m browsing Google looking for any firm that provided convertible hire. Finding firms that catered for this wasn’t hard, but finding stock was impossible. The good weather has lasted all week so people were way on the ball and way before me.

Prestige Car Hire in Hemel Hempstead came up with the goods though, providing me with a choice of either a Z4 or a 330ci, with the Z4 coming at a killer price making the choice an easy one. Besides, I’ve always found the new shape really handsome and this pretty much hit the spot for the weekend.

After a super quick transaction, I was out on the M1, hard top electric roof down (rather slow mechanism, but effective transformation!) having my scalp massaged at speed. It’s a liberating experience that is savoured by those of us unfamiliar with convertible ownership. In the three days I had the car, the roof only went up when the car was parked. I never even got to sample the car in its coupe form.

I love the design of this car, I rank it one of the best looking roadsters on the market. It’s a quality car that demonstrates BMW build standards that hark back to the 80’s. Ruler guided shutlines with roof open or closed, switch gear that feels punctual and components that want using. As an ownership prospect, it ticks all the right boxes and looks fabulous parked up on the drive with the roof in either position. Not sure black is a good colour though, the remnants of Bangles flame surfacing need a brighter colour to exhibit its lines. Personally, I’d be brave and go for a white Z4. And those wheels are amazing, filling the arches gracefully giving the effect of a very modern roadster, together with its short overhangs.

Boot space is generous when the hood is up, but once in convertible mode, the roof sits on top of any luggage as the photo suggests, making access to your gear very difficult. In order to properly get your stuff back out, you need to put the hood up again, which wouldn’t be so bad if the roof didn’t take so long to go up and down.

Otherwise the interior is very comfortable with shapely leather seats and a nice, chunky steering wheel completing the GT feel. Unfortunately my car wasn’t equipped with sat-nav which was a pain, but the sound system provided great entertainment with the punchy speakers complimented by the AUX cable in. Although the bloody sound compensation thing was irritable to say the least as the volume kept self-modulating, making for inconsistent volume.

Driving this car is a mixed affair and I get the impression it’s trying to maintain a split personality but failing at both, it’s neither a proper GT, nor is it a sports car with dynamics to match. It’s a 6 speed manual and the gearbox itself is a slick affair, with each shift smooth and easy and heel and toeing working best from the ball of your foot. However, there’s no reward to your hard work and despite the classic BMW silky smooth 3.0 6 living up to its reputation, it didn’t ever feel like anything other than an arranged marriage between transmission and engine.

Frequently I’d feel the effects of chassis lag as the elastic feel of the engine would be working against my perfect gear shifts. Whether it be wobbly engine mounts or some sort of weird gearbox bounce, the car would often wobble when startled into acceleration. It’s a throbbing lump and sounds meaty, but without menace. Sport mode would sharpen up throttle response and would exacerbate the strange chassis lag rather than fix it.

The engine felt lethargic and with a fairly 2010 average weight of 1500kg, shouldn’t have felt so. I never quite knew how to get the best out of it as it didn’t feel comfortable being revved, nor did it ever feel like it had the tractability of low down torque, sometimes even getting bogged down at low revs.

This feeling of disappointment is compounded by the inert handling. I’d imagine this is how the American classic cars handled, heavy at the nose and very little feedback through the over-servoed steering. No matter how much I’d lean into the car, it would never communicate its limit to me, feeling often unsafe and unpredictable, even in Sport + mode. It was, strangely enough, remarkably difficult keeping it in a straight line as the car would often graze the lane on the motorway, from one dotted line to the other due to its overly sensitive dead-ahead steering. And dammit, if I want to do a burnout from the slip road and paint black lines on the tarmac, that should be my prerogative. I don’t want an ECU doing the decision making for me by cutting power!

In comparison to the 2.7 Boxster I drove, it’s not even close dynamically. The Z4 makes up a lot of ground with that modern roof, but it had none of the chassis brilliance, nor did it have the perfection of engine and gearbox union that always distinguishes a Porsche from its peers. The Boxster was a car that I simply wanted to drive right out into the middle of the night in winter. I never had the inclination to do that in the Z4, despite its better looks, superior build quality and modern design in ergonomics – but BMW are masters at that.

So, if you want a cab to pose in (and who’d blame you), the Z4 is the more appealing, aesthetically. But if you want a rewarding, engaging roadster that tickles the spine when nobody is looking, then the Boxster is for you.

EDIT:
Bart has emailed me pictures of his new Z4. As I said, if I were to have bought this car, it would be in white and here’s the evidence. It looks spectacular!

Enjoy Bart.

Have eventually pulled the Alpina out of the workshop it was in. After a whole year in their care, all they had done was a respray on the shell. It’s the same story all over that 99% of people doing what I am will recite with almost pin point accuracy. The temptation to pull in new jobs whilst working on a major project is too great for the small workshops, so deadlines are never met.

I’ve now moved to a new firm who have guaranteed a 3 month turn around on the car – I really want the car back by summer, hoping not to have to pack it away for the winter. Really looking forward to this, hope the new firm do a good job.

Meanwhile, the Q7 is about to be dumped in May. It’s time for a replacement, but as always, nothing ever goes to plan. I’ve had repeated call back failures from two different Audi dealerships. I’ve literally left half a dozen messages, I’m actually shouting down the phone “Guys, I wanna give you some of my cash!!” but it’s to no avail. I often wonder if the car industry have any clue as to why it’s crashing and burning. Even Nissan have been awful. I’ve been looking into Qashqai’s as a possible ’sensible’ replacement, but again, they simply do not return calls. In fact, I’ve left 4 messages for Porsche too! No call backs. Either my phone’s fucked, or I’m on some kind of car dealer blacklist!?

On top of that, some dickhead went into the side of me on the North Circular. He came out waaaay worse, but irritatingly, said he would be defending his case. I didn’t bother pursuing with notifying insurers. Today, I found 2 beautiful, massive door dings. And all my tyres are shot. Lovely, £300 a corner.

Finally, had the RS detailed by Nathan at Cambridge Autogleam. Always does a wonderful job, but I think the car needs a proper 2 day restoration job. Still, took only a few days before some twat decided to use my front bumper as a parking sensor. I mean for christ sakes, how can you not see a florescent green Porsche GT3 behind you?

Drove the car into work Friday and decided to take a tour of the west end on the way back. The weather was glorious and the RS was magnificent, resplendent in its new coat of wax. It was a surreal experience as the car attracted an immense amount of attention. Last time I had pedestrian traffic like this was in the Nissan GTR. But this was something else. I stopped off at the awesome Princi at Wardour Street for a chocolate eclair and I swear, I was frozen in the car. I simply could not get out as I counted at one point 5 people taking photos of me.

Eventually, I plucked up enough courage and stepped out, walked into Princi only to see the car getting a ticket on the windshield. A £50 chocolate eclair then. In front of 1000 people. Awesome.

Call of Pripyat is the third in the trilogy (acting as Sequel to the original game, Shadow of Chernobyl) placing the gamer into the shoes of a STALKER, a bounty hunter, in the Ukrainian town that was affected mostly by the fallout, Pripyat.

It’s a fabulous world that feels as real as can be, sensitively depicting the desolate nature of your surroundings together with the shaman-like activities of other soldiers and stalkers around you as they fight in their own little battles in real time as they try to gain advantages in their own faction wars.

Graphically, it excels in dousing the world in this grey and green overtone that seems to have lost its colour, whilst at the same time illustrating some of the unnatural delights of a world affected by a man made catastrophe.

Although no role playing element is involved, there is character progression. Money is hard to come by in the world so you have to carefully purchase and manage both weapons and ammunition, of which there is a multitude of options. It’s armoury is typically diverse and ranges from cheap, sawn off shotguns that are found two a penny, right up to government special edition sniper rifles that can clean blow the head off an armoured man from 1km away.

The landscape is VAST and some of the locations are utterly terrifying. For the first time in my 30 years of game playing, I screamed at the screen, taking my headphones off and looking at my wife in an utterly embarrassed pose. It really did terrify me.

Being their third installment, it’s a lot less buggy than their previous iterations and gains from the obvious budget inflation and allocation to proper UAT testing. It’s not 100% perfect, but the gaming experience is.

10/10

The Lovely Bones is Peter Jackson’s take on the book of the same name, centering around the largely post-life deliberations of a girl witnessing the aftermath and shock to her family after she is abducted and murdered as a 14 year old girl.

It’s a heartrendingly tragic tale that swings from extreme grief and discomfort, to moments of joy and warmth, taking viewers through one of the most emotional film roller coasters of recent times. Although not any scenes of extreme violence, there are tense moments of anxiety that has your ribcage positively quivering from anticipation and dread. Most notable the part where you are thrown with claustrophobic effect, into the dungeon our abductor has created, to lure and capture Susie Salmon allowing us to bask in the dawning realisation that she isn’t getting out again.

As a father of two girls, this was extremely difficult to watch, but as a film lover, I was pleased with the method Jackson employed to pull at our grief strings in ways that were left largely to our imagination.

A very good cast of strong performances, from Mark Wahlberg’s grief stricken father, to the amazingly beautiful Rachel Weisz’s mother, wracked with pain enough to send her into oblivion.

No Jackson film is complete without a heavy heap of sugar by way of gratuitous special effects. A master of talent, we’re graced with amazing depictions of the inbetween world, with a kaleidoscope of colour and texture, blending fantastical locations with the inner workings of a 14 year old girl. These moments provide both a massive respite to the overall grief of the film but also allows Jackson to crack his knuckles in allowing him to do what he does best.

As we’re taken through the film, the single thing I found myself longing for was for some form of retribution and justice. I won’t give away the end of the movie apart from saying I was mildly satisfied.

7/10

Green Zone centers around the furor of conceit surrounding the ‘illegal’ Iraqi invasion. With Matt Damon a US Army Captain becoming aware of misleading intel that continually points to non-existent WMD’s, he becomes the fly in the ointment of USA foreign policy.

Caught between the truth of the CIA and the fiction of Government, his decisions lead us through a relatively enjoyable film that plays on the stereotypes of middle eastern sub-culture where everybody belongs to some sort of shadowy underground organisation and hates America.

Despite not having the intelligence and wit of Jason Bourne, Matt Damon is still very entertaining to watch; he’s macho and strong willed, allowing the audience brief moments of reward as he chases justice without compromise.

Having the most amazing helicopter crash ever on film goes some way towards leaving pleasant memories of the film, but it can’t disguise what was essentially a fairly average interpretation of what is a political hot potato. Some very weak performances, especially by Brendan Gleeson, a grade A actor in his own right, but simply unable to shake his strong irish accent making for cringeworthy dialogue.

6/10

It’s a given that at any time I have an organised event involving the car, I can almost always guarantee rain. Let’s not forget that this was my second scheduled visit as the first one was canceled due to snow. Regardless, I’ll not let the process of precipitation ruin a drive in one of 2010’s most anticipated cars, the new GT3 RS Gen 2.

The Experience Centre is a fantastic place, it’s a very cosy, intimate environment housing very expensive cars such as the LMP Spyder, Carrera GTs and the odd Silk Cut car. Each visit has a different set of cars so it’s a dynamic, changing place with great hospitality and even better food.

My instructor and I enjoyed the fantastic roast lamb lunch and soon made our way through a rather simple briefing session which is catered quite clearly for people who’ve never driven a fast car before. The centre provides experience days for every new car purchase from Cayenne Diesels to 911 Turbos so the diversity of character and experience is vast. 15 mins later and I’m sitting inside the new (soaking wet) RS.

Initial impressions are of course, wonderful. I challenge any petrol head to maintain a consistent BPM just looking at it. It’s one of those few cars that looks fast just parked. With an exaggerated aerokit promoting downforce by way of its massive, beautifully shaped carbon fibre spoiler and its deep, sculpted front skirt, it’s a candid car that simply does not hide its intention.

Stepping inside and here some cynicism prevails. Going from a purely functional aesthetic on the outside, seeing some of the minor gimmicks made me chuckle. Such as the cord pull doors (which really save nothing but add consternation when closing the door) and the delete air-con function, no sat-nav and lightweight car battery are weight saving features that cannot beat a pure and simple diet!

Starting the engine and we’re introduced to a fantastic baritone note that is ever more prominent thanks to the perspex rear window. In note and pitch, it’s the same sound as my red Gen.2 GT3, but slightly louder, owing mostly to a titanium exhaust and perhaps a more liberal carbon airbox. It’s a delicious note and I couldn’t help but constantly prod the throttle when at idle throughout the whole day, you cannot tire of it. Notch one to the RS.2.

Snick the gear lever into first, release clutch and you also notice that the car has become civilised. There’s less clutch chatter, the gearbox is well behaved and the new carbon seats don’t creak. Naturally there’s a lot to be said for a brand new car, but this had 1500 miles on the clock versus my 3600, so it’s not a huge difference. Also, this was a pre-production model, the only RHD car on the road – or not, as it’s not legally allowed on the road.

The first thing you notice is the new front end – with that wider track, it offers a near elimination of understeer. Even in the wet, once the tyres were warm, it had tenacious grip, allowing that oh so familiar delicacy of balance between front and rear wheels. Oversteer is also on demand, typically in lift off fashion again, but the over zealous protection of the instructors refused me any deselection of traction or stability control. Irksome to say the least, but from the hard forced tail out moments that even went beyond the intervention of any technology, it’s quite clear that the car retains its progressive and benign nature on and off the limit.

That 3.8 is a magnificent engine. It’s a true spiritual sibling to the retired 3.6 lump, sharing all the characteristics of its high revving nature without any of the set backs of capacity increases. You can notice the difference between the Gen 1 and Gen 2 cars, that extra 200cc makes some small, but noticeable, difference with a more tractable low revs pick up, leading to slightly punchier mid-range making some of the high rev shifting typical with the previous generation GT3’s a little redundant. I found myself short shifting a few times, apart from that delightful howl, there really isn’t a valid reason to wring its neck all the time anymore.

There’s even better stability in the harsh left – right switchbacks too, with the balance of the car remaining unprovoked. That wider track providing excellent reassurance. There’s a wonderfully poetic moment when you get a bend right in the RS called the slingshot. Get your angle right, as you wind off your lock coming off a bend, hit the throttle at the right spot on the apex and the car is slung with supernatural efficiency onto the straight, reinforcing the slow in, fast out methodology of the GT3. It’s devastatingly rewarding and demonstrates the absurd levels of mechanical grip offered by an off-the-shelf car. I can only imagine how insane it could be with a track geometry set up.

After an hour and a half of abuse, the heat build up in the car brought on a sweat in me (no air con guys, c’mon!) so I decided I’d had enough. As I pulled it in, it was quite clear by the onlookers which car was getting the most attention. And who’d blame them? The RS really does look fantastic. Incredible given how the internet was so scathing of it when wraps were first taken off. Can’t help but feel I’m smitten.

Walking away, I stepped towards my car with those comparative thoughts of ifs and whys. The most comforting thought is that I’ve got £30k sitting in my bank – ultimately, is it £30k better? Probably not, no.

But then that’s a logical, pragmatic decision out of sync in a world born from passionate ideals. And who wants to be sensible when you have a Grey and Red in the garage?

That wasn’t so much of an issue, most of you will know that I have no fear of the rain and in fact can take great enjoyment out of it. Thankfully, the rain cleared and we were blessed with a dry circuit for the whole day. But there were high stakes at play here, with most of my fellow racers come track day regulars were here in force to prove superiority over one another.

Oulton really is a unique circuit and is a great shame that it’s so far away from my house (about 3 hour drive in clear traffic). It’s got incredible, sweeping undulations, with more blind crests and bends than any other place I can remember, bar the Nordschleife. Like the 911 RS, it’s a multi-faceted place with layers of difficulty peeled off the better you become. It can reward and punish with equal measure, with very little run off on some of the massively hard braking areas, requiring you to depend on your hardware more than any other circuit I know of.

However, I simply was not on the pace. Good friend Glenn McMennamin, who recently won his ProAm 2 championship title in the Porsche Carrera Cup, was always a great benchmark. Even though he was always faster overall, I was able to at least make comparative judgment on the differences. At Oulton, however, I don’t know what happened, but he was simply in a different league, as was Ken, who competes in the Lotus Elise Cup. All three of us in 997 RS’s, I just simply couldn’t maintain the pace. I’d also just picked the car up from Fearnsport after a track geometry and suspension set up, together with that, I exchanged my standard discs for a set of awesome Alcon discs and Pagid RS29 pads all around. The discs, although expensive at £1600 for the pair, provide absurd levels of longevity, with my last set on the white car having lasted about 15 trackdays. The pads are also standard GT3 fare. Finally, brake fluids are changed to high boiling point Castrol.

No matter, I couldn’t get my power down, brakes just weren’t biting and ABS was not cutting in. It doesn’t take a genius, but at the time, I couldn’t see the problem, even though I was staring it down the face!

This was a major dampener for me so I consoled myself by resorting to drifting everywhere. Even on and off the circuit as I went out to buy petrol from the local Shell garage. Unfortunately, this earnt me two different warnings, both outside the circuit and inside! “Compliments of Race Control sir, but please could you stop your tyres from squealing everywhere?” Game over for me…

The GT3 comes with the Michelin Pilot Sport Cups (the tyre on the right) from factory. I knew that my tyres were original from new, now over two years old. Although they had some tread good enough for the road, Cups really need to be fresh to get the most out of them on track. I still wasn’t convinced until I stole Glenn’s spare set from the tyre support crew and got them fitted to my car. These were the new Pirelli Corsa R’s. Not only are they a better compound, offering some high tech science behind its grip levels, but they were also oversized, comfortably fitting a 325 section over a regular 305.

Oh. My. God.

It quite literally felt like a different car from the very moment I turned my first corner on track. Sure footed, solid, extraordinarily grippy with an almost total elimination of understeer and oversteer. It felt so amazingly different that I immediately knocked at least 5 seconds off a lap with them, perhaps even more. It truly was a revelation and I’ve never before felt such a stark contrast in tyre performance and technology.

The curious thing is that I’ve actually had these tyres before on my white GT3, but I do not ever remember being so blown away by them.

There are, of course, caveats. They cost £1700.00. Got back up yet? Here are a few alternatives for your £1700.00 :)

Are they worth twice the price of a set of R888’s? Are they worth a 50% premium over a set of Michelin Pilot Sport Cups? Well, how much do you value those seconds? And to be frank, it’s not just about the laptimes either, they are soooo surefooted, they present a new dynamic to your car previously unexplored. For me, there simply is no question, they are a necessary investment for anybody looking to get good performance on track.

I’ve waxed lyrical about them, so I’ll just end on saying the day was finished on a high note.

Full album can be found here:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/blowdog/sets/72157623613201356/

Highlight photos:

Pros
It has one of the best 3.0TDi’s in the business. The BMW unit is more modern and the twin turbo more powerful, but they don’t hold a light to the smoothness of the Audi unit. Dishing out 400 lb/ft, it’s also a surreal proposition. Seeing a 2.5 tonne car being hauled with such ease is off-putting at best of times.
Fabulous gearbox. The six speed auto is smooth and responsive. Sport mode is very effective too, with a far more dynamic use of gears, preferring to hold gears much longer, giving better response. Paddle shift available also for those pretending it’s of any use.
It is very comfortable. With the standard air suspension, it’s a cruiser on all types of terrain. Its high seating position also giving it a naturally comfortable vista, allowing even the wife to navigate the car with suspicious ease.
Surprising agility for a behemoth with adjustable suspension settings providing flexibility based on your mood.
Mountain bike fits right in, no problem. Don’t have to disassemble anything.
Oh, can also fit motorbikes in there too

Cons
Fuel consumption is horrific, averaging 25MPG, making fuel stops a frequent and irksome pastime, especially as each tank costs £100.00, taking absolutely forever to fill up at some courts.
Size is intimidating at first, but even after getting used to the fact that it doesn’t drive like a big car, you realise 80% of parking spaces suddenly become unavailable. You cannot fit in anything other than a completely empty space.
Build quality is typically Americanised. It’s got thin paintwork, exposing tiny scratches. I’ve had trim fall off, minor electrical components fail and fascia dent very easily.

What’s my shortlist? I’m going to hell, but I really like the concept of a roomy, 4×4. With two kids, both with car seats, and a pushchair permanently in the boot, it’s either a 4×4 or people carrier. And I’m not quite the quaker yet.

Audi Q7 – the new ones have engine modifications so they incorporate stop-start tech. This will help the fuel bills no end.
BMW X5 – The dynamic class leader. Not as big as a Q7, but that isn’t such a bad thing
Cayenne Hybrid – too expensive!

Whatever I choose, I will miss this car. It’s been fantastic and easy to live with. A true fire and forget car.

Full set here:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/blowdog/sets/72157623431857407/

I’m both terrified and extremely excited by the prospect of driving this car. Naturally, I’m as keen as anybody to see how much difference there is between not only my current RS, but also the Gen2 GT3, and the new Gen2 RS. It’s all getting complicated. However, I’ve also placed a mind-block upon myself, I’m psychologically blocking all RS.2 related material from cranial considerations. If I can’t get one, then they don’t exist right? Why torture myself!?

Autocar have just launched what is probably the best review of the car I’ve seen. Not only is the guy well informed, but we’ve got some real nice video footage of the car. :

There are a multitude of other video and magazine reviews out now, Porsche have no doubt just done the Press launch. Keeping a media black out on these reviews is proving to be very very difficult and I just hope that I’ll get in it and, well, hope it’s not all that better.

To boot, weather is looking spectacular :(

I hope that has some affinity with you, for me it’s a name that stirs a sense of adventure, excitement, honour, chivalry, romance, discovery and exploration. In EPIC proportions.

It’s not often I get to play a game, unable to put down my controller, only to get to the end about 2 weeks later, only to start it again – right from the very beginning. As soon as the credits roll! But Mass Effect 2 is a master class in games making and demonstrates a magnificent achievement in interactive, cinematic gaming.

Explaining anything about this game is a risk to spoilers, so I won’t do so. Anyone familiar with Shepard’s shenanigans from the first game will have no problems getting stuck right in. Even up to the import of your previous character, ME2 dumps all the bad things about ME1 and amplifies all the things that made the original so god damn awesome.

With an incredible depth of dialogue and character interaction, you can shape the nature of your character through varied conversation choices, all ultimately affecting the way your character develops and that of the story itself.

The graphics are as good as anything you’d expect from a modern games studio, but the most captivating facet of ME2 is the sheer scale of the game. There is a sense of perspective presented to the player that immerses you so deep and so realistically that the feeling of ineptitude is washed over you as you explore one planet to the other, from one side of the solar system, to the other.

Combining this with a story line that wouldn’t look out of place in a hollywood epic, together with cinematics that shake to your very soul, I’m not hesitating to tell any 360 owners to get off their fat arses and BUY THIS GAME. This is a true 10/10 game guys and gals and they don’t come that often.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★★★ 

44 Inch Chest centers around our beloved Winstone and draws us even closer as the film unravels amongst the maelstrom of his mid-life whilst he regales us with tales of his wife’s recent departure. Surprise leads to shock, leads to grief, leads to anger, leads to violence. And here we have Winstone in his element, a blubbering wreck of a man, in the company of close friends providing support to a man who is quite clearly not all there. This sense of detatchment from his body gives him an unpredictable edge that provides the film with tense underpinnings from start to finish. As Winstone’s friends bring to him the reason for his wife’s departure, a sickeningly good looking, young, latino waiter, to justice, Winstone acts as judge and jury in deciding the fate of ‘loverboy’.

I’m a fan of the slow burner, preferring a film to dazzle me with dialogue, score and cinematography. 44 Inch Chest has championed these merits, but not without red faces. With a record breaking amount of C words in a film, it really isn’t one for the family. Most coming from the ancient John Hurt too, making the obscene language comical, if not surreal.

There is a finely woven list of characters in this too and despite the warm, friendly nature of each and every one of them, you know they’re not the type to meet in a dark alley. Ian McShane as Meredith is an addictive personality, an openly gay, yet smooth as silk govenor who shares anecdotes as they are dipped in honey and savoured by the audience. As for John Hurt, I’ve yet to see a 70 year old with so much grit and verve, he is a fiercely energetic actor and frightens and entertains in equal measure.

Entertaining and memorable, 44 Inch Chest is a true love story. Not the hollywood style of wishy washy romance, but the proper, married for 20 years love story. Watch and spread the word.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★☆☆ 

Having suffered an irksome spell of snow and bad weather over the past month, I was happy with anything other than more snow. So when the weather report said ‘Heavy showers all day’ I was jubilant. I’m no alien to a bit of damp and as I hadn’t yet had time to change my discs and pads to more powerful items, what better way to consummate my relationship with my latest GT3?

So the soldiers with me, Henry in his beautifully pristine Cobalt Blue 997 GT3 and Guy in his powerhouse Dark Grey Metallic Nissan GTR. Warriors into battle, not a shred of fear amongst us. As a threesome we’ve together done a multitude of international events. We’ve probably travelled to Europe together dozens of times. We know the best viewing points at the Nurburgring (They’ve done the Scuderia Hanseat 3 times each) We’ve done trackdays together in the 100’s. And this has been going on for nigh on a decade. It’s this experience that we’ve collated, not only as trackday drivers, that allows us as a trio of guys to anticipate each others moves in such a safe and fun experience, regardless of environmental influence. I remember once in Papenburg, northernmost Germany, I had severe tyre damage on 2 wheels. I had to drive back from Germany to London at 30MPH through the night. It took me 9 hours to get home. Henry and Guy (with chest infection) did not leave my side and stuck with me the entire journey.

It’s this trust that allows the three of us to attack a trackday employing the ferocity we desire, with zero visibility, without risk to ourselves or others.

Enough with the pleasantries. How was the RS? [broken record mode]Absolutely bloody brilliant [/]. I have no other word to describe it. Rain or shine, this car is the king – undisputed. It really was non-stop rain all day and the GT3 is not a car to take liberties with. But I know this car, I’ve lived with it for years. I know its habits, its foibles and its idiosyncrasies. I know when to press it, I know when to submit.

The RS was so similar to the cooking vanilla GT3 that I’m really struggling to find some difference. I do notice an eagerness to rev – this is down to both the free-revving nature of the lightweight flywheel and also an effect of noise driven by the lack of rear window insulation (it’s made of lightweight plastic). I also noticed that when provoked into a drift (which was practically a permanent state yesterday), the car had a tendency to snap back into your line of sight with aggression. If not checked, this can lead to snappy fishtailing. I’m blaming this on a number of things; Firstly, the road conditions were totally chaotic – with the deep freeze over winter, this was followed by monsoon-like weather. What this did to the track surface is anyones guess. Secondly, I hadn’t had a geo done on the car yet, so I’m not sure what kind of camber this car has out of the factory. Rumour has it that camber settings from factory are often inconsistent and need adjusting, regardless of setting. Finally, and almost obviously, we have a wider track on the RS. This would possibly account for more grip on the rear, something you’d notice when coming out of an oversteer/drift moment.

Two other things I’ve noticed about this car. There’s the noise. It really is a stupendous, epic, shrieking banshee wail that entices at 3k rpm, exhilarates at 6k rpm and brutally rapes the senses at 8.2k rpm. Halving the thickness of the rear window and turning it into plastic has amplified the acoustic brilliance from inside the car and the pursuit of revs continues over and over again. The other thing to notice is the fantastic braking stability with that spoiler. It has none of the shifting, fidgety nature the GT3 has, allowing you to haul in under hard braking time and time again with sure-footedness. It’s reliable, dependable and controllable right up to the stopping inch, allowing you to focus on your approach line with clarity.

As it’s thinner brother proved before it, the RS is a delicate tool. The GTR a crushing carpet bomb of excellence as it devours anything in its path with utter abandon, the RS choosing instead to surgically remove its targets one by one, micro-managing inputs, gracefully crafting a line from one corner to the next and allowing itself to be adjusted minutely as it communicates the level of each and every wheel, one by one. It really is a revelation in driver communication and the low level seating of the fixed carbon seats places your arse right bang in the middle of the front and rear wheels. I have full dolby 7.1 DTS surround and I’m watching Avatar from the best seat in the house. It’s still no match for the GTR’s power on the straights, nor its incredible technology when juggling drive distribution through its four wheels. Coming out of a chicane onto a straight, the RS is no match for the GTR as it just opens its maw and chews through metal, tarmac, flesh and bone combined. The only hope you have is to fix up a number of consecutive bends – at this, the GTR struggles to contain it’s leviathan weight as gravity simply cannot be overcome – regardless of how many GB of processing power you throw at it. Still, I know which car I’d rather drive home in and the GTR is no doubt worthy of the many international accolades it has collected. Speaking of, has anyone questioned why Michael Bay hasn’t used one in Transformers? It’s perfect!

What was surprising was the wet weather ability of the RS – especially given it was on Michelin Pilot Sport Cups – horrible wet weather tyres. I suspect with the Pirelli Corsa R Systems, the car would have ripped a hole in the fabric of space time continuum. Although grip was severely restricted, the sheer level of communication allowed for healthy progress.

Henry in his GT3 provides the comedy. We’ve always enjoyed the odd black flag at Snetterton as we cannot resist the odd showboating. Today was a little different with the marshals as they appeared to be quite laid back and relaxed, considering there were only 20 cars on the track that’s no surprise.

I still maintain that there’s very little difference between a GT3 and its RS stablemate. It’s just as competent and equally effective in both rain and shine. I really am loving the colour scheme though, as loud and offensive as it may be, it’s quite suiting really. The ultimate test will be on a dry day after I’ve done my track geometry set up. Then I will be in a position to compare and that day can’t come soon enough.

My name is Cem. I am a GT3 addict.

As my predecessor elected to retain the car upon the inverse of his garage, I came to the car and discovered it buried underneath 2 inches of snow. Anyone who’s anyone knows GT3’s hate the cold for long periods. They are wild, feral beasts that choose to dance upon warm environments and work themselves into sweated frenzies. Anything more than a couple of weeks in sub-zero temperatures, the battery dies.

And my battery was dead.

First trip to Halfords and I bought another trickle charger (typical when you REALLY need your trickle charger, it’s actually 50 miles north because a friend borrowed it). This was plugged into the car and after 6 hours, ignition turned. Great, still nothing. Another trip to Halfords and I returned with a new battery and £120 lighter of pocket. Official Porsche one costs £300.00 – I hope I will not need it come warranty inspection time, later this month.

At last, I’m out, winding down doing 40 mph on the North Circular with pleasant satisfaction upon myself. Not much can do this, I find being in a familiar car environment is the great antithesis to stress.

This is my first 997 in RS guise. After periods of ridiculing RS buyers for having too much money to burn, I find myself open to revenge criticism.

Comparisons between the two inevitable of course, but I’ll not be qualified to do so until limits are explored on track. What I can say from the off is how incredible susceptible the RS is to tramlining, the wheels finding solace amongst the rutted valleys within the tarmac. Especially so of late, as the snow and low temperatures have made a mockery of UK asphalt. I inadvertently went over pot-holes tonight that were violent enough to shatter my spinal column.

Noise is also amplified. Not only is the rear window made of plastic, so less able to insulate noise, but also the single mass flywheel makes for a very noisy clutch. The acoustic effect is there to accentuate the ‘trackday’ aspect of the RS, but what I found it does is make the standard GT3 so much more hospitable in times when you aren’t on the racetrack.

But these are minor negatives to what is, of course, a staggeringly good car. Perfect heel and toeing – not because I’m a heel and toe master, but simply because the car’s been built to allow me, nay, entice me to do it. In the same way the steering wheel position, relative to your seating height and arm length is just spot on and even when you’re at a traffic light you can’t help but feel you’re on the grid. It feels like that scene in Avatar where the Na’vi connect with various animals via the nerve receptors at the end of their hair. It’s just a raw, primal, fleshy connection between man and car.

Tonight’s weather conditions were treacherous, given the amount of crap on the roads, that wasn’t surprising. But the GT3, being the delicate tool that it is, is subtley attuned to these variations in road and weather conditions. Care and attention is required to avoid any heart in mouth moments that require quick flicks of the wrist and brave maintenance of throttle and steering alike, lest you end up like the poor Z4 driver tonight who inexplicably buried himself into the very foundations of Hammersmith flyover at 50 MPH. I couldn’t find the front of that car for the life of me. It simply was no more.

2009 was an appalling year, both commercially and personally. After having been subjected to countless burglaries and various episodes of the law working against me, it’s nice to be back in something that is familiarly excellent.

It doesn’t make 2009 alright, but it does make it easier to swallow.

Spot the coffee cup.

How quaint

It’s shit. It has the worst character textures I’ve seen in the past 5 years, lacks the character development and intimacy of the PC version and has an inherent mundanity about it that made me take it back to Game, 1 hour after buying it and trading it in for an instant £30 loss. That’s how much it sucked.

Rating: ★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ 

PC version:

I had to check the title of this game as I just can’t believe it’s the same thing? A much bigger emphasis on the RPG element, it’s so much closer to the bloodline of Bioware games of yore, such as Balders Gate and Neverwinter Nights – both genre defining, benchmark games.
In 1600 x 1050 resolution, it also pisses on the 360 version and together with the top down, team based control method with the quickbar along the bottom, it’s been redefined.

It’s also a huge game as I’m discovering. Fingers aching already!

Rating: ★★★★★★★★☆☆ 

As a lover of film, I always try to see movies, especially those in particular I’ve been waiting for, with a clear mind. That will mean a mental black out of articles, reviews, films, trailers etc. With Avatar that’s been nigh on impossible and I think it’s one of the most hyped up movies of the past decade. Film posters everywhere, games, merchandise, McDonald’s – you simply can’t escape the machine. Unfortunately, I went to the movie expecting BIG things based on this hype. Amazingly, I wasn’t disappointed.

The story you all know, but for those at the back, we’re talking hoorah America seeking to ruin the natural and peaceful habitat of a biped race of people from a distant, lush, planet that appears to be home to a very valuable source of unobtanium. Cue, hired guns and mercenaries and dirty corporate tactics.

Meanwhile, our protaganist, the freaking awesome Sam Worthington, is part of a new experiment where he exchanges his (wheelchair bound, crippled) body for a fully functioning, genetically grown clone of one our alien lifeforms.

The first thing you notice, the thing that doesn’t change and the last thing you notice, is the jaw dropping spectacle of Cameron’s vision. In full 3D, on a large, digital cinema screen, it is a life changing experience. Cameron has been noted many times recently for claiming that Avatar will to for Cinema what Technicolour did in the 60’s. What we’re talking about here is a reinvention of standards and I welcome it with a massive grin and yelping gestures.

I donned a 3 hour smile through the most amazing looking film of all time. The Na’vi, in all their animated glory, are simply not a CGI backdrop and are a pivotal, real, tangible, part of this story, Last time I was taken in by so much character was with Golem.

As Jake (Sam Worthington) spends more time with the Na’vi, learning their culture and gathering inteligence as a home-made spy, he slowly starts to favour his avatar over his parked, paraplegic body and in doing so, becomes a ‘part’ of the Na’vi tribe.

What follows is a climax of maniacal proportions as the inevitable battle comes to a head with the modern tech of US Marines fighting against a spiritual breed of people that demonstrate strong ties with everything organic around them. To boot, I’ve always been an admirer of Cameron’s choice to always place strong, leading women and although we don’t have our Ripley or Sarah Conor, what we do have is a fabulous Neytiri, his female Na’vi ambassador. She is deliciously woven as a warrior/hunter woman and you can’t help but relate to the conflicted emotions of Jack.

Story is a little predictable, but if you’re a comic book fan you’ll love the sheer audacity of the plot, even if you occasionally grown inwards as the story unfolds. It’s typically American avant-garde, with the right dose of marine mentality, countered with the frequent self loathing and defecating quips of corporate greed.

A very very cool movie and I suspect James Cameron will be reveling in this achievement of having created a cinematic equivalent of the great Renaissance.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★★☆ 

p.s. you MUST MUST watch the 3D version. It’s a revelation.

It’s the one true time in the whole year where I can relax, in the purest sense. The type where I can run a bath in the middle of the day and turn my phone off, knowing I’m under no pressure.

It’s also a dangerous time as idle hands become the devils tools and I can demonstrate better than anyone that a fool and his money are easily parted.

The week before Xmas, I gave Porsche the bird. I will be publishing an open letter in the new year, unless they get in touch with me which will be as miraculous as seeing Jesus Christ come out of my garden shed as I’m reaching in for another pack of kitchen rolls. As a result, I decided that I no longer wanted £10,000 in their care so I also asked for a refund to my deposit. Right now, my toys are being thrown everywhere. I’ll get over it, but right now I want them to know they’re being dicks.

So. I went and bought a car. A deposit of £7k has been placed and I hope to pick it up on Wednesday. Can’t wait :)

It uses some very clever techniques that are a combination of Adobe Flash cutouts with classic animation, but the results are simply extraordinary. I’ve never seen animation, in the general sense, portray so much life in both character and surroundings. It’s a stark contrast as the film tackles some very heavy issues, from genocide in war, to mental degradation and psychological breakdowns. It’s moody, gritty and quite violent in places. There is no glory here, apart from attempting, successful, to recite mans folly in war especially when young of age – the attraction of war is a toffee apple and we are presented this by bright visuals and dynamic lighting effects that appear to be polish to a rusty collection of ill-fitting gears and cogs underneath. Secondly, I have to applaud the soundtrack. It’s a combination of orchestral, moody, middle eastern tempo and alternating 80’s and techno music. It’s always, perfectly placed with the action, or anti, on screen and does so much to heighten the importance of the scenes that ultimately unfold to its grizzly ending.

There’s also the dialogue. I’m a fan of world cinema, but the visuals are so breathtaking, especially in Bluray, that you simply do not want to tear your eyes off the delicious sights to read the subtitles. Regardless, I’m glad of the sub titles as the dialogue is brilliant – I’m familiar with the ’sound’ of hebrew as I live in an area rich with Jewish inhabitants and often it can come across as a little coarse and guttural, but somehow there’s a milky smoothness about the words batted between friend and gun partners. I found myself drawn into the intricately delivered facial expressions, the hand gestures and the odd shoulder shrug that so typically defines human reaction – something that is rarely conveyed so well in film, let alone animated.

As a historical lesson, those in the know claim it to be an incorrect portrayal of events. However, I felt it to be a heartbreaking tragic reenactment of a massacre of Muslim inhabitants in a film made my Jewish Israelis. If anything, it prompted me to do further research and establish some more facts on an incident I’d previously never heard of and I’d like to congratulate the film makers on such an astonishingly good achievement.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★★★ 

I think I can safely say that this is my perfect kind of movie. Slow building, classy, ridiculously good plot, superb soundtrack and haunting visuals.

Moon follows the life of an offshore engineer coming to the end of his three year contract. His utterly solitary life is a depressingly bleak presence on a vacant planet and the feeling of overpowering dread and near suicidal emotion is strong throughout as the film is bathed in dark colours, is devoid of familiar sounds and offers no comfort to neither our protagonist nor the audience as we suffocate in the hopelessness and despair of loneliness.

However, he does have a number of things to comfort him, such as the long distance, pre-recorded video messages from his wife and child on earth, providing him with incentive to drone on until his imminent collection and release.

A near fatal accident prematurely reveals the existence of a process involving engineers and their return, but discussing further provokes risk of serious spoilers – and boy is that a spoiler.

I’m a huge fan of Solaris, both the original and the much criticised remake with Clooney. Moon has many parallels, from the incredibly intelligent soundtrack down to the slow pace of the movie – both provoke existential contemplation with references to mans life in relation to the ‘grander design’.

Moon is a future classic and rates as one of the best films of 2009, if not the past decade. It’s one of those awesome films that has story and dialogue strong enough to support a stage play even in the absence of CGI. Imagine Event Horizon and Solaris, somewhere in that group of space dramas sits Moon.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★★★ 

However, in my deliberations concerning the continued reasoning of these opportunists, I’ve come to the conclusion that they are perhaps after the Focus RS. As a result, I made a rather hasty decision and sold it back to Perry’s Ford.

Hindsight always does cast a rose tinted projection of the past as I’m already missing it, despite hardly having used the car in the past few weeks.

I still maintain that it was one of the best and most dramatic looking cars on the road. It is positively overflowing with aggression and machismo with it’s bulldog like stance and flared and winged decorations. I wonder if it actually shares any panels with a normal Focus.

I do have a disadvantage, however, in comparing this to other cars of this genre. Fact is, the last hot hatch I owned was back in 1992 when I owned a Mk2 Vauxhall Astra GTE 2.0 8v so as a result, I have no experience in casting any benchmark comparison. I do, however, understand the concept of driver involvement and fun and for that reason, allow me to place judgment…

There seems to be a lot of press lately about the gross exageration of the Focus RS power figures. Although stated at about 305BHP, many journalists are claiming to have dyno’d no more than 275 – bringing it down by 30BHP. Coupled with a 1500kg weight, you’d expect a minor struggle, but it simply isn’t case with a ferociously addictive lunge that reels in cars in the horizon far quicker than any figures should give it credit for. It feels powerful, weighty and absorbed and does not let any of those qualities deter its delicious turn in. Even in the wet, sharp, quick turns of the wheel are followed by obedient, crisp adjustments. It feel dialed in completely, even with my tyres part worn.

But it’s also in the wet where the frustrations start to creep in – unfortunately, it’s pretty much rained the entire time I owned this car. Anything over than 50% throttle will spin the wheels in 1st, 2nd and sometimes 3rd gear – even with traction control on. Now, I don’t normally mind wheelspin, in fact I find it challenging. But in a FWD 300BHP car, it’s simply annoying. You see, the wheels don’t just spin away, the entire front section of the car jumps up and down like an agricultural pile driver. It makes an awfully embarrassing show of itself and I often wonder if people on the outside hear the massive bangs the suspension arms perform as the chin of the car makes out like Bruce Forsythe. It really is unseemly and all it does is stop you from accelerating hard again which kind of ruins the fun.

Another really annoying thing is the bloody mindedness of the entire lux pack 2 system. For a start, why oh why does it not come with the iPhone connecter cable from the begining? I mean what’s the point in providing all the technology and then leaving the owner to then subsequently go out to Ford and buy a £20 cable? No sense. However, that’s only the start of the problem as you try to define some logic in the arbitrary success of the unit. Sometimes it recognises your iPhone, sometimes it doesn’t. Today I spent 30 mins trying to fix the bluetooth, then realising that I’d arrived at my destination. Except the sat nav dropped me off 10 miles away from where I wanted it.

Finally, there’s the build quality, which is appalling. First, I had a large piece of plastic fly out from under the sat nav and land on my lap. I couldn’t fit it back on again so back to dealer. Except this time, the whole dashboard kinda punched itself out by about 2 inches on the left. So it went back to the dealer again, but not before deciding to vomit out all the screws that keep the inner wheel arch linings together (apparently a Ford recall).

However, get a few choice moments behind the wheel where you’ve connected up a couple of tight bends and it simply doesn’t matter anymore as the Focus RS bathes you in waves of comedy character. It’s boisterous fun, it sounds superb and just knows how to show you a good time.

I’m certainly going to miss its immense practicality, with its full 4 seats and massive boot space, with reversing camera, keyless ignition, pray-and-beg bluetooth and ipod connectivity, sat nav and telephone module. If I was in the market for a £25k hot hatch, there would be no contest! But I’m not. I’m in the market for a GT3 aight?

Huge thanks, meanwhile, to Perry’s Ford in Aylesbury who were cracking to deal with.

There were three cars there on view, photos below (Many thanks for the assumed permission for the photos from Layo, a user on Pistonheads). They really are quite abusive and shocking in their appearance with the GreyBlack and Red appearing the most suitable. White and red looking fantastic, but I’ve done White way too much lately with the last 997 for two and a half years.

That carbon spoiler is a work of art, though, and it is a fantastic combination of sculpted carbon and crafted alloy. All in all, the car is a sharpened tool that leaves no doubt in the mind as to its intentions and capabilities.

I managed to enjoy some good lunch with Geoff Turral, MD of Porsche Marketing GB, where we had a good head to head about Porsche’s current ordering and vetting processes which have caused me much deliberations of late. No promises were made but good headway was reached regarding my issues.

There’s no question, there has been a LOT of work gone into the recent RS with considerable effort to make the distinctions between GT3 and RS. However, there is also pressure on the driver now. If you turn up to a circuit with this, nothing else than ‘fastest’ should matter.

The theory test followed which was really a combination of multiple choice questions firstly on flags, then hypothetical scenarios on and off track. Easy stuff and an easy pass. Now comes the expensive bit. Decent kit on its own is going to cost me in the region of £1500.00 and I’ve already started looking at cars such as this:
http://www.pistonheads.com/sales/1244526.htm

So my question to myself, do I get a 997RS.2, or do I go for something cheaper and sink some money that I don’t have into racing?

Why didn’t I take up a cheaper hobby? Something like flight?

This is truly the most terrifying film I’ve seen and a cinema experience to witness first hand. From the very, anxious early start to the story, right up through the build up of tension up until the climatic, blood curdling end, the audience were totally absorbed in the malevolence of the film. I witnessed two people, in separate incidents, get up and run out the cinema in fear. I saw grown men cower inside their hooded tops in a conflict between cowering terror and human curiosity. I witnessed adult couples arguing between whether they should leave or if they should stay.

Made from a budget of $15,000 by the two protaganists in the movie (it’s actually filmed in his own home), we follow a Blair Witch style handycam documentary / video blog of a couple who appear to be plagued by ever increasing displays of paranormal activity. Playing a tennis game between belief and cynicism, where the boyfriend is outright mocking of the events, looking for a factual reason for the tomfoolery, we also learn that the girl is a little more human in trying to associate the events by relating them to some form of personal experiences in her childhood past.

The movie is mostly based around the bedroom during the hours where the couple are asleep, but the genius of the film doesn’t come from what we’re shown or what we hear, it’s the things we can’t see or hear. The placement of the camcorder every night in a position that captures the couple sleeping, whilst to the left of the frame we see the open bedroom door leading to a dark corridor that darkens into oblivion, presents us with an unknown terror that plagues every fantasist when alone at night listening to the things that go bump. The juxtaposition of seen and unseen is simply genius and masterful in the art of composition and direction.

There is naturally a crescendo of activity that culminates in an ‘omg my blood has turned cold’ reaction each and every time and the ultimate gift to the viewers is the notion that here is a story you can take home with you. Being based in a real life environment, every single movie-goer can relate to this and I can guarantee everybody will go home after watching that movie and not treat their home in the same manner. My cinema partner that evening went home and slept with all the lights in the house left on.

This is true psycho-horror that takes advantage of society’s obsession with reality TV. Our protaganists become real people, we know them, they don’t appear to be acting in front of a camera and their actions are as candid as can be – all this paints a picture of realism that makes the unfolding events even more terrifying.

If you liked Blair Witch Project or REC, then please get into the Cinema to see this. It must be seen at the cinema because a) You need pitch black to watch the movie in as you eyes dart from left to right trying to see things moving in the dark and b) you need to have volume very high because believe me, you’re going to want to make out the sounds that go bump in the night!

Go see – a future classic.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★★★ 

For those who didn’t know, my Alpina turned out to be a toffee apple. It’s a term used in the trade to describe a delicious looking skin that disguises rotten bodywork underneath. My car turned out to be a bit of a dog. So we went right back down to the shell. The whole car was stripped, cleaned, galvanised, sanded, wielded and repainted in its original Lachs Silver glory.

It’s starting to look fabulous again, even though it’s just a shell. Next step is to rebuild the original Alpina C2 2.7 engine.

Update soon.

There’s spectacular effort – it’s evident in every stroke, every thumbprint and every movement of limb and ligament. Stop motion has never appeared so characterful.

Clooney is perfectly placed as the voice of Mr. Fox with his suave cunning tested without his apparant good looks. Funny too – and the adult kind of funny.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★½☆ 

Labelled as ‘Disco Lento’, this modern take of new-romantic, slow disco and electro pop is a sickeningly stylish performance of what is quite a melodic piece.

Not in the habit of enjoying mainstream music, I’m silently, selfishly, hoping that there is no huge success to be granted, otherwise I will be deleting this post.

You can listen to them here:

http://www.myspace.com/ithurts

Rating: ★★★★★★★★★★ 

With 1929 black and white silent movie Man with a Movie Camera playing in the background and Cinematic Orchestra creating a unity of sound and vision, the magnificence of two distinct artforms clash to bring together a unique, unforgettable experience that only a tableau can replicate.

Orchestral, acoustic, epic – Cinematic Orchestra sit on top of a genre populated by few. A real experience.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★★★ 

Forza 3 is a spectacular driving game in the vein that SHOULD cause Gran Turismo some distress – and rightly so, that game is the biggest turd of the year with it’s awesomely unsimulator type handling, lack of crash damage modelling and, a bug bear for me, a complete lack of any skidmarks or wheelspin marks on the road.

It doesn’t boast the largest collection of cars on the market, but it does have all the coolest. On a HD plasma, it looks delicious, suffers no visible framerate loss and has a quality of audio that really makes excellent use of full surround.

Multiplayer is where this game lives and despite a slightly lacking matchmaking facility, once you’re in a full lobby, you are guaranteed a fabulously exciting arena for bumper to bumper racing that rewards the careful and punishes the wreckless.

This is the greatest car game ever made. Oh and with my special edition awesomes box, I have a funky keyring and USB stick too.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★★★ 

I’m pissed off with it for a few reasons.

1) Plot.
It really is the most random storyline I’ve ever seen. It hops, skips and jumps from one direction to the next and it appears to have arbitrary plots just so they can justify various token FPS levels. Airports, streets, shanty towns, houses – everything’s there but it’s a scrapheap challenge of game levels. I don’t mind so much the ‘Russia invading USA’ thing (World in Conflict spun that tale brilliantly). It’s just that there was no real fluidity and most of it made no fucking sense.

2) Single player campaign
I’m mainly pissed off with the relative shortness of the game. It was over way too quickly. On top of that, it’s got a pretty good skirmish kind of mode but some of them can only be played multiplayer and, well, we all know how we feel about that.

3) Super AI
I hate this on FPS game so fucking much. I will be prone on the ground with full camo army ranger gear – practically invisible to the naked eye, I’ll crawl along the ground slower than a snail, pop my scope from behind a barrel and BAM I get shot at from 2 miles away by a one eyed militant with an uzi. IT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE. Don’t do it. JUST DON’T.

[SPOILERS]

Having said that, there WAS some freaking typically awesome MW moments.
1) Jumping over that ridge in the snow-mobile was pretty rad
2) Jumping onto the helicopter ladder just as it’s flying away, in time to the crescendo of the spectacular soundtrack – this actually had me yelping out loud.
3) Dual Desert Eagles – I mean, we’re all blokes, right?
4) Mobile Sentry Guns are fucking brilliant. More games need this.

Overall, an excellent game in its own right, but I still think MW1 has it licked.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★½☆ 

1) I place order for a GT3 gen2 at Porsche Reading
2) Car arrives, I’m deliriously happy – so much so, that I want to go for an RS gen2
3) I get an opportunity to take a friends order for a 1st place RS. Dealer in question agrees to the swap.
4) I decide to sell the GT3 in anticipation of the forthcoming RS. Porsche Reading make me an offer and I accept.
5) Porsche ask questions about this ‘RS’ I’ve organised. I say very little. Shortly after, a memo gets sent around to all dealers – “No order transfers are allowed”.
6) I lose my slot on the RS
7) I ask Porsche to sell me back my GT3 – they agree on the Friday. I ask for some short time to arrange finances
8) I call back Monday multiple times and email them to arrange transfer
9) Tuesday I receive email that explains car has been sold to somebody else.

This makes me sick to the teeth. I’m pretty much convinced Porsche Reading have had a hand in ensuring that this RS order got rescinded. Still, having just purchased my 3rd GT3 (only parted £90k with them a month before) I’d have expected a little common courtesty over the weekend by way of “Hi Cem, I’ve got somebody interested, do you definitely want the car back?”. Nothing.

Even now, I am sending emails to them asking for Dealer Principle names and I am being ignored.

Perhaps I should have done what any other budding opportunist would have done by way of making a massive premium on the car when I sold it. I could easily have put a £10k sticker on top.

Ugh…

That’s a saying we laughed about as kids when we were young. It came after a period of relative wealth during my early teens which had us in BMW’s, Jag’s and Merc’s for a few years. Leading out of the recession of the 90’s, I was in a 4 gear Corsa 1.2.

So it was with some frame of reference I was able to refer back to the Equidaen saying from 20 years ago. Having nurtured a GT3 for the past two years to a point where I experienced Zen every time out on the track, venturing out in the Focus RS was…….enlightening.

Forgive me. For many people, the Focus RS represents a real world aspiration wrapped up in a real world car. A sub £30k hot hatch that wraps up violent design, murderous ambition and uncontrolable urge in a socially unacceptable package. It really is a comedy sketch.

The day at Silverstone started wet, which meant the Focus RS really doesn’t know what to do apart from ensure that its driver is shrieking at every minor indescretion. Understeer, oversteer, drifting, torquesteer, bumpsteer, scrub, grind and many other popular latino grooves. You name it, it will throw it at you. Thankfully, it’s still a lot of fun and any of those crazy dance moves are delivered with full notice as you’d expect from any fwd hot hatch.

It feels a little cumbersome with its full 1500kg weight apparent on the high speed bends such as maggots, but otherwise has a delicious turn in that works well until you need to drive out of it. In the dry, you can moderate throttle and adjust steering each time the wheels start spinning to pull you out of a turn but in the wet, it’s just a hopeless balance of throttle and a few prayers.  Otherwise you just witness the revs shoot up and the car drift way off line, sometimes dangerously off the tarmac.

Which brings into question the traction control. Ford have done a fantastic job with this. On the road, I’m often looking at the dashboard for any signs that it is intervening, it’s so subtle. On the track, it’s obvious. With traction control on, it works pretty well accelerating out of the wet bends, but get the car into oversteer or any drift, it’s intrusive and stops you from pulling the car back into line again. With TC off, you can play with some ridiculous angles, but forget about those bends.

As the day dried out, so did grip and all 300BHP can be put to effective use. It’s a really fast hatch, no question. Naturally, it loses its punch after about 110MPH when things start to slow down a bit. On Silverstone, that’s noticed as all the GT3’s start to thunder past, providing me with reasons for not wanting to be in the Focus. The odd tussle with R26.R’s were great fun though, with the Focus RS more than a match for the track focused hatches. The closest to a fight was with a car chipped, giving it more power than the Focus RS.

A comment needs to be made about the brakes though, they were fantastic. They offered great peddle feel, did not fade at all and maintained their consistency throughout. The car behaved wonderfully in fact. But it still left me longing for my GT3 as I came out of it feeling as though I’d taken the car as far as I could – there really was nothing further to learn.

Henry, having seen the look of melancholy in my face, handed me his keys to his GT3 and said “Go knock yourself out”….. I really didn’t need convincing and what followed was 10 laps of pure, undiluted, non-filtered bliss. It was an utter joy and within minutes, I was again exploring the many depths, peeling layer after layer from the GT3, only to find new aspects of its character that had previously as yet been undiscovered. “Do you mind if I showboat a bit, Henry?” preceeded some 60deg drifting, naturally for the crowds, in what is the greatest car ever made (TM).

Driving the GT3 after a whole day with the Focus RS was like finding your children after having lost them in a shopping centre. The Focus RS is a magnificent hot hatch, but the GT3 is a touch of divine glory.

Have always loved this car from launch. Even after having seen it at the Geneva motorshow for the first time, I was smitten by how ridiculously agressive the design was, from its drooping fat chin, to its over exaggerated spoiler on the boot. It was basically a charicature of the hot hatch and in no way could it be launched in concept trim!

Except it was.

I need a car to enjoy over the winter and what better way than a White Focus RS. Nearly new with 2k miles on the clock, the Focus RS is a pretty special play toy. With over 300 BHP and 325 ft/lb torque, any hard acceleration can simply be regarded as nothing other than comedy! I know for a fact that I’m going to be chewing through tyres in this car. Slam your foot down in 2nd, 3rd or even 4th and your arms suddenly start wrestling with the wheel as it tries to break free from its shackles and throw itself out the window in a glorious escape to freedom. It’s also ridiculously cheaply made. I’ve already had bits of plastic trim from the facia fall off in my hand. But then, this is a £26k car. It’s basically a Ford Focus 1.4 underneath, only with anabolic steroid abuse.

Have you ever seen such an aggressive front before?! It’s positively drunk and off its face and you look it in the eye and you’ll be guaranteed to house a bottle in your temple before the nights out.

So, agressive looks, hyperactive steering – is there anything that is vaguely normal about this car? Actually, no. Weirdly enough, it’s about 100kg heavier than the GT3, weighing in at about 1500kg. So it’s not light, but without appearing blatantly predictable, it’s actually pin sharp in delicacy and pointedness. Even in damp conditions, roundabouts are adhesive and it’s only with aggressive use of mid-corner throttle does the car look you in the face and shout ‘LOL PHYSICS’.

There’s something wonderfully endearing about owning a £25k hot hatch. With a 90k GT3, you can’t talk to people about it without them thinking you’re a wanker. The Focus RS is the Barry McGuigan of the car world, a people’s champion, not concerned about false pretences but merely tasked with getting a job done without compromise.

It’s also got a wealth of toys that put the GT3 to shame, especially given its price tag. Reversing camera, touch screen sat nav, keyless entry and go, ipod connector etc. Those seats are also pretty darn rad.

I’m at Silverstone this weekend with a bunch of others in hot hatches – the GT3’s are being left at home. This time, I don’t mind so much :)

Oh and watch this bleeding video!

After my trackday at Snetterton, my brakes developed an unpleasant noise and vibration. An appointment was made to Porsche Reading to rectify said problem, although my fears were cemented by then – it was obvious the steel brakes were simply not up to the task. A huge disappointment, given how Andreas Preuninger waxed lyrical about them at the launch. Frankly, they’re a huge disappointment and I decided at that point to never spec steel discs on a GT3 again (more on that later!).

Regardless, I was told by Porsche, after countless photos and videos sent to Porsche Germany, that the brakes had been subjected to abuse and would not be covered by neither goodwill nor warranty. I came away perplexed, if there’s one thing I do not do, that’s abuse my cars. I know better than many the cooling cycles necessary for discs during trackday use. So I came home and after some careful consideration, decided to put the car up for sale. I figured winter was coming, it wasn’t going to get any good use and I had the RS coming in March (more on that later!!).

Within a day of putting the car up for sale, Porsche called me and offered to buy the car there and then. Deal done and sold. The car was already at Porsche Reading having the brakes investigated, so it was simply a case of coming to my house to collect the V5 documents. However, after having committed to the sale of the car, I shortly got told that due to dealer process restructuring, I also wouldn’t be getting the GT3RS!

The temptation to cancel my sale on the eve of the buyer turning up was immense and took a number of phonecalls to trusted colleagues to sway me from one side to another. In the end, it took a sensible approach and I let the car go. It’s a MASSIVE shame and I’m more upset about this epic trackday booked for this Sunday at Silverstone. It’s practically a who’s who of trackdays. Still, I’ve just bought something else for the weekend….

As for the RS, I’m going to have to hunt one down in the new year come spring time. I’ve heard there are very limited numbers planned with only about 40 cars due to the UK. This is going to make it very difficult to source one without a premium, but I’ll keep looking.

And my Guards Red GT3? Well, given that it was only in my hands for a few weeks, it’s difficult to really justify the £30k premium over the Gen1 GT3, which, let’s face it, is a stupendously good car. Really, it’s utterly magnificent. And the Gen2? Well, it’s faster, that much is certain – the fact that it can now keep up with a Nissan GT-R on full chat says a lot. It’s also very good looking with significant improvements to it’s overall aesthetic – that rear spoiler is truly epic. It’s also updated with mod-cons such as touch screen sat nav, ipod connector etc.

I’ll miss this car for sure, I didn’t get to really bond with it – I guess I’ll leave that for the RS. Speaking of RS’s….

Immediate assumptions will no doubt question the quality of my locale. Fact is, it’s an affluent area in North London and is somewhat well regarded as a ‘family friendly’ region. It is unfortunate that the very nature of London is a celebration of ethnic and cultural diversity. A hub of cosmopolitan and cross national activity, it has become so rich in identity that in tragic ironic circumstance, it also has none.

The house in question is a dream home. Bought at the absolute peak of the housing boom, the region is so independant in it’s own little micro-economy, it’s amazing to have found that the value of the property has actually increased considerably – relatively speaking. It’s your pretty standard fare of being a 4 bedroom house with a separate garage, front garden and back garden, driveway etc. Suburban idealist living.

About a year after moving in, I fell ill with flu and decided to take the day off and sit at home. Whilst in bed, the distant sound of chaos attempted to drive through my dreams. Feverous temperatures normally tell my brain to switch off strange, uncommon sounds. But the persistance of the sounds piqued my curiosity and in my drunken like stupor, I dragged my heals across the floor to the staircase and started to descend. Half way down, the stark, shocking realisation that I wasn’t alone suddenly cleared my head of any dull, smokescreen. To then find two africans standing there, in my living room, hoods erected to disguise themselves, was the single most effective wake up call I’ve ever experienced. A sudden rush of adrenaline had me leap the final steps and curse towards their direction.

Between you and I, reader, it was all an elaborate con. I’m not really a violent man, but I had to show agression. What, also, were to happen had they called my bluff, turned around and said “Yeah, what?”

Thankfully, they paniced more than I, perhaps not really expecting anybody at home. As they scalped themselves diving headfirst out of the window, I chased them out onto the street in my undies.

Since then, I’ve had a bike stolen – twice. The lastest was my pride and joy, the Cannondale carbon leftie. All this has culminated in another attempted break in last week where somebody had tried to wedge a tool of some description behind the handle of my front door.

Each successive time I am intruded upon, I improve my security. Right now, I have a high quality alarm. I’ve rebuild all my security doors. I’ve got double glazing ALL around, including new doors. I’ve bricked up my window of my garage and replaced the door with a security door. I’ve rebuilt my gate into a secure version, together with anit-pigeon nails. We’ve done our driveway, opened it up and fitted security lights all around.

I wrote to my Borough Commander, the Chief Superintendant of my borough. I explained how despondant I was and that I no longer wanted visits from community support officers telling me of ways to improve my security. Enough! I claimed, no more onus on me – what are the Police to do about this? How will they demonstrate the protection we need from them?

After two months, I received a reply. Except, it wasn’t from him. It wasn’t even pp’ed. It was a generic letter written to me from a staffer, apologising and telling me, exactly as would a politician, that they try the best they can with resources they have and have a happy life thanks goodbye.

In fact, I hadn’t finished reading the letter before it hit the bottom of my bin. Pathetic.

I’ve recently been arguing with my local station about what they will do about this. Again, I’m called by ‘Community Support Officers’ and ‘Victims Support’ call centres. I don’t fucking want consolation, I also don’t want rehab nor do I want any other stupid, fucking leftist concept of crime prevention in my life. It’s making me screwy mad. The two intruders are KNOWN to the police – they have DNA samples and fingerprints from my home. They KNOW where they live!! They know they’re out, right now, committing a crime somewhere yet they can do fuck all.

I had a the station sergeant ring me and tell me not to bother going into the station as I’d be told the same thing – there’s nothing else that can be done for me. I yell and shout, I get angry, I get vexxed. I’m told that they simply do not have the police resources to do the job they want. I cry ‘foul’ – bollox. It’s simply untrue, so I unwind onto them……

Back in May sometime, my wife ‘allegedly’ clipped the wingmirror of a parked car. Disputes followed, in the end I paid up the £250.00 for a new wing mirror and left it at that. She has since received a court summons form the Crime Prosecution Service for (1) driving without due care and attention and (2) failing to stop at a scene of an accident. I kid you not. Would somebody on planet sanity please explain to me how this can be of ANY benefit to the tax payer? We’re ushered into court where the bloke in front is let go with a £200 fine for driving over the weight limit in his lorry, without insurance. Why doesn’t he have insurance? Because he has no license. Why not? Because he’s an asylum seeker.

I went out Monday night as you may have read. I was flashed by a camera three times and I was stopped by police three times on the way home.

How on earth can they claim that they have no resources when it’s quite clear that the decent, law abiding, tax paying responsible citizens of this country are penalised for simply being citizens??

Something bad is going to happen. Either I’m going to take the law into my own hands and mash the head of an intruder in with a 6 cell Maglite torch, leading to my arrest, loss of business, loss of income, etc, etc. Or, the police will find me in a pool of blood with one of my own kitchen knives embedded kindly into my chest. The press will then get a hold of this story and discover that I’d been pleading with the police to do something about it, to appropriate their spending into areas that PROTECT those that are responsible, not persecute.

Thank you very much labour, you’ve fucked and sodomised this country into the next decade. As I sit here at 12am, I await my fate with the prospect of three fines arriving at my doormat over the next few weeks. Nick Griffin isn’t a very nice man. In fact, he didn’t really appear to be an intelligent man. But he’s sitting in a golden opportunity as he offers the people of UK a right wing view of England that is almost utopian in comparison to the liberal ideals of the 21st century. It really is no wonder that he’s gaining voters and unless a respectable party wisens up to the problems of the man on the street, then those gaps are going to increase.

In Jurassic Park, they recreated a dinosaur from a DNA sample. Is it possible to do that with Maggie?

GT3 is proving to be as predictably good as ever. Just approaching 1000 miles now, the sound is fabulous, speed is pretty feroucious and handling and grip is phenomenal. You really have to be quite violent to shake it. However, steel discs are starting to show signs of warping, I really hope that isn’t the case. Will be dropping into Porsche Reading to investigate.

Regardless, it wasn’t long before a dry line appeared on track and as traffic increased, so did traction, allowing me to further push the GT3 into the farthest reaches of our universe. I’m near on 500 miles with the new GT3, but I can really start to feel the increase in power – not as an absolute, but the minor changes to the map making an overall improvement throughout the whole rev-range. With an unnamed friend in his Nissan GTR (warranty blah blah) acting as reference, I was quite expecting to be left behind, only making time up on the straights. But it didn’t quite pan out that way with a frentic number of sessions consisting of nose to tail action, cementing the fact that the new 3.8 is more than a match for the massively fast GTR.

A forever changing cat and mouse game, the GTR would make progress on the two straights of Snetterton, but the light weight nature of the GT3 made a killing under hard braking and sharp turns. Again the Nissan would take large chunks out of the GT3 from some of the very tight chicane exits, where its four wheel drive would aid exit traction when I’d be crossing my arms trying to keep the car straight (which has been immense fun!).

Where are the improvements? Well, the overall speed of the car is a minor, but noticable difference. There’s also a better connection between steering wheel and front wheels under hard acceleration and turn. I always used to notice a lack of gravity up front as though the steering was searching for some feedback, in vain. That appears to be remedied with some real proper feedback, including less understeer and better communication. But the most significant improvement has to be in its aerodynamics. Hard braking in the Gen1 used to be hugely amusing with sweepstakes trying to determine the direction the car would take – quite often at the point where your braking pressure is at the maximum point before the ABS cuts in. I remember quite clearly in the Gen1 at the huge long straight at Snetterton (Revett straight) you’d be coming down from 140MPH really hard on the brakes, perhaps harder than any other circuit – and the car would jitter and swerve all over. The deep front dam and the exagerated spoiler seem to have given the car impressive road holding that has ultimately aided its on-limit stability.

So, not a huge amount of differences. I have to ask my dealer if I actually got my dynamic engine mounts, because frankly I can’t feel any difference and I’d be mighty pissed off if I’d been sold a marketing gimmick that had no functional value. It’s still a ridiculous car and there really is nothing like it. It’s supremely quick now for a 3.8 normally aspirated car and still retains that unique nibleness and litheness that makes it the envy of cars with twice its horsepower.

Just a word, meanwhile, to the people on trackdays who seem to think it’s OK to piss fuel/oil all over the circuit and remain on the racing line while plumes of smoke destroy your chances of credibility. I know sometimes ‘things’ happen that are outside of your control, but please for the love of god use some common sense.

It’s proper quick. There’s an added sense of urgency now, low down. I remember a slight latency at low revs, but that appears vanquished as the car offers a typically relentless banshee howl. And what a screamer. I’m positive this car is louder, it’s certainly more vocal and I’m really digging the opportunities to bounce sound waves off of low walls.

It also appears, unless I’m mistaken, that Porsche have placed the engine back into the front. That sense of disconnectivity the car had with the road in the first gen GT3 when hard accelerating and turning has all but evaporated, with a real added feeling of weight way up front. Real confidence inspiring stuff.

Snetterton booked for this weekend coming, although not sure I’m going to have a geo set up in time. I’m curious to see how these dynamic engine mounts are on track. And why the hell can’t I play video on my TFT??

I originally expected this car to be ready for pick up sometime yesterday. It’s amazing how much of a drama queen you become when that estimate doesn’t become firm reality. However, pretty sure it was due to happen today, so I took a day off in anticipation.

8.03 am the photos of the car started to trickle in to my mobile phone from the dealer, with the car having just been unloaded from Germany. Generally, a Porsche dealer needs about 3 days to do a full and thorough PDI on a new car. Mine was completed in about 6 hours and they did a sterling job – no doubt a driving factor was my incessant communications trying to establish where exactly the car is!

My initial thoughts after driving about 150 miles (most of which were admittedly horrible motorway miles) are a little surprising. Can I say “The same, but better” without appearing to recite from the Book of Cliches? It’s very very close in character to the original car. The main big area of change is in the aesthetic. Considering we’re taking about an evolved Porsche, that may come across as an oxymoron, but for someone who’s lived with GT3’s for a collection of about 4 years, these are big changes.

That spoiler is the money shot. It’s big and bold without being at the expense of cohesion, there’s no indication that this may well be an aftermarket bolt on option as often the RS models appear to be. The added height and size does make a minor difference to rear-view visibility, but I saw that as a bonus as it hides many of the flashing headlights I seem to acquire shortly after overtaking someone…

The wheels are also spectacular in form and function. The single bolt effect has 2 benefits, one being lighter rotating masses and second being a fast wheel swap, great for trackday tyre swaps. Looking down from above the wheel, the blades have a protuding style that makes them look big. Coupled with the gun metal finish, they look fabulous as a contrast to the red. And what a red. I’d not have thought that guards red would look so fresh, but somehow this GT3 gives it a new lease of life and today it looked vibrant and alive in the sun of our indian summer here in UK.

The daytime running lights give it an air of quality as some of the Audi’s often do. They are LED’s, as are the excellently designed rear clusters, and do a brilliant job of announcing the car as a ‘different’ 911. The main xenon’s are so powerful that they annoyed the hell out of my fellow GT3 driver who I drove up the M1 with today. On full beam they practically wake the birds at night from their peaceful slumber.

Otherwise, apart from the added vent in front of the bonnet, deeper, longer front skirt and reshaped rear bumper, it’s business as usual with the classic 911 tear drop given added menace from an emphasised addition of wings and aerodynamics.

Inside, things are familiar and despite the new PCM3 (sat nav and comms), everything else is predictably Porsche. There is no design in the interior as you’d find in an R8 or an Aston Martin, but the layout of the switchgear is usable and easy to find. They’ve removed a lot of the buttons from gen 1 as the interface is now touchscreen. Coupled with my iPod connection option and the telephone bluetooth module, my iPhone now sits tucked away in the glove box with all my functions available either from the PCM screen or my stalk. The interface is well designed, easy to use and is fast processing too. There were no delays in browsing music or indeed navigating the awesome touch screen sat nav which has a fantastic POI integrated too. With my telephone module I was also able to utilise live, dynamic traffic reports on the fly.

Club sport, light weight buckets are business as normal with the only difference being that they didn’t creak anymore like my old ones! A minor problem with carbon fibre seats. The steering wheel has changed, it’s not very pretty to be honest, but the size is good and with fresh alcantara, felt very comfortable in my hands.

How does it drive? Well, the cars come ready run in on bench dyno’s so the car is good to go, despite some prudence required to run in gearbox, clutch etc. As the new starter motor quickly chirped over, the first thing I noticed was how much smoother the gearbox was with the gearstick moving effortlessly into it’s pockets with satisfying clunks, unlike the gen 1 which had a tendancy to grumble a little – especially from cold.

Power is certainly noticable, mostly in the mid to high range there’s a sense of added urge. It’s still a brand new car so despite the obvious tightness of components, there’s definitely a nice power improvement, at least you can feel the extra 20bhp. Not sure most people would, but having spent 2.5 years with a gen 1, it was nice to see a subtle increase to power without compromise to balance.

The exhaust appeared to be a lot more vocal than before too – I assume a result of managed airflow. It’s louder, no doubt, even at idle, and strangely enough, with the windows open, there seemed to be a lot more driver focused noise. It’s great to hear and the provision of the sport button allows this noise to be modulated.

Brakes were superb on the road. They made for difficult heel and toeing, but this might be because of an elevated pedal height due to brand new pads. On heavy braking, heel and toeing is much easier as you’re pressing the brake pedal much harder. The feel was great, with a touch of the brake pedal returning an appropriate response with feel modulated all the way down to the stoppers. At the moment, I’m happy to have not opted for the PCCB’s as the steel’s have proven excellent on road. How they perform on track is a different matter but I fear they may melt into oblivion.

Suspension too is even better sorted. There’s a feeling of utter compliance and it appears to be a little better than the gen 1 at soaking up undulations and changes to road surface. Whether this is an actual revision or an effect of placebo is unknown. The front ARB is from the GT2 which now has adjustable settings. This will be explored soon, together with a better track day geometry and suspension set up.

Didn’t get an opportunity to play about with the stability control. There were 2-3 eerie moments today when it appeared there was some over zealous control of the traction with power appearing to be cut down on slow speed bends. The old car would not have needed traction control at these points so I’m wondering if it’s because the tyres are still new. I hope that this sorts itself out otherwise the installment of the new stability control will be switched off by me.

All in all, an accomplished car that is pretty much identical to the previous car it replaces, but with a whole catalogue of very small changes. There’s a sense of tightness with the car, a lack of any slack, that allows you to extend on its immense repertoir of capabilities knowing full well that there is a clear line of communication between car and driver that is always vibrant and energetic. In my opinion, the original 997 GT3 was a perfect car. To elaborate and improve on so many areas has led to the development of a car that is yet again without peer.

I have a couple of trackdays booked, that’s when I’ll test out the new dynamic engine mounts. Can’t wait.

At some point today, it’ll be ready to pick up. I think I’ll just head down to the dealer today and lick the window all day.

Frankfurt show was huge and I must have walked at least 10 miles today, glad to have got off the plane and into home. Some truly spectacular stages were set, especially the BMW stage with its elevated circuit across the stages. Some fantastic design and use of video and audio created a wonderful motorshow experience. Some of these sets must have cost in excess of multiple millions, it shows that the car industry is not quite knocked out yet and showed how important the German market is.

Porsche GT3 RS was fabulous. In the flesh it’s looking the proper tool of function we’ve come to expect from Porsche, as you use a hammer to drive a nail in, so you use a GT3 to best circuits with. Previously, the GT3 was good enough, but this new iteration has a wealth of differences between cooking vanilla GT3 and RS to warrant my interest. I’ve got a first place position and cannot wait.
Colour is interesting, it’s called ‘Black Grey’ and is one of the four options. However, it HAS been confirmed that there WILL be colour to sample, which means a variety of different colour options. However, these will not be offered before early summertime 2010. LHD deliveries are expected to start November / December with RHD UK deliveries due February time.
The good: That spoiler is a work of art.
The bad: The cloth door pulls are really wrong.
The ugly: Clashing colour schemes?

Panamera had the most ridiculously big brakes.

Ferrari 458 looks much better up close and personal with some dramatically futuristic design cues. Very angular, very sharp – it’s a future proof design, but often they’re the kind that age quickest.

New BMW 7 series looked fantastic in white. Really loved that car and a proper highlight.

Batman: AA is actually a book tie in, one I’ve had for many many years – it’s actually one of my favourite books. I was quite pleased to see the game adopt some of the more adult qualities from the book. The graphic novel still remains one of the most violent comic depictions of Batman and the game similarly takes its cues from the more dark characteristics of batman, rather than the camp.

There are two great aspects to this game. Apart from the fantastic use of some key, Batman technology, the combat scenes and the hunter/hunted scenes are some of the most absorbing to date. Swooping down on an inmate, dragging him and tieing him to a gargoyle before any of his friends notice is hugely satisfying. When you’ve got 8 guards to dispatch, you can sometimes spend up to a good 30 minutes patiently dispensing of them, one by one, each method becoming even more elaborate than the last. In contrast, if you want a plain old punch up (not recommended for armed assailants) then the combo system is brilliant, each successful attack adding to a multiplier than increases your effectiveness and strikes each time.

Replay value as yet unknown – I’ve completed it and will no doubt revisit it for its challenge mode, but otherwise a pretty good PS3 basher for short term love.

Rating: ★★★★★★★☆☆☆ 

It follows a documentary style reportage of aliens occupying a sector within South Africa as immigrants. Malnourished and underfed, there are stark contrasts between the way humans treat aliens (of both indigenous and extra terrrestrial types) and how they are treated simply as science projects and research material.

The film follows the plight of Sharlto Copley as Wikus van de Merwe, an out of depth senior representative of UN equivelent organisation. Tasked with relocating these aliens to a camp of questionable origin, using questionable illegal methods, Wikus finds himself infected with some sort of biological substance that starts to affect his genetic make-up. Suffice to say, what follows is a transformation, not only of physicality, but of stance and opinion, turning Wikus into an important Mandela’esque figure head.

The special effects are simply stunning, the action scenes are out of this world and acting, bar some wooden, token, meat head soldier roles, is exemplaray. I’ve read that Wikus’ entire dialogue is improvised. The unknown cast are superb and the South African taint adds a strangely believable ambience to an otherwise unbelivable settings.

I can see why Peter Jackson took Blomkamp under his wing!

Thoroughly recommended, go and see it on the big screen.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★★★ 

Containing many ‘wtf’ scenes as Tarantino often likes to splash into a screen, the defining element of Tarantino film is dialogue – and boy does he deliver. I found some of the most fantastic, tense, scenes of dialogue on this movie that had me biting my nails and grinding my teeth in suspense. Christopher Waltz as Col. Hans Landa is unquestionably one of the finest cinema characters of recent times.
His ability to juggle comedy with terror is unmatched and the movie is justified simply by watching him alone.

But as with everything in life, there are some flaws. For some reason, it was like a barmitzva in the cinema and every nazi killing was greeted with fanboy applause. In addition, the ending was a bit of a copout with some typically Tarantino ending. Otherwise, please please please check out the two femme fatales, they are simply delicious as both the cinema owner and the German actress.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★★☆ 

Regardless, a quality Iraq piece dismissing the token pretences of political righteousness in favour of a pleasing dramatisation of contrasting attitudes of soldiers who revel and shrink in equal measure in times of war and danger. Displaying the typical Amerikkaa!! gung ho mentality beautifully demonstrated by Watchmen’s ‘Comedian’, the adrenaline of intense danger is as powerful a toxin as any drug could be. Conversely we see the effects of war on those not suited to the environment. What follows is a pretty dramatic enactment of daily life in barracks. Most notable is the sniper section – not sure how realistic that was, but can certainly testify to the intensity of the scene!

Rating: ★★★★★★★½☆☆ 

Sanity is still fighting with emotion, but for the first time in many years, the RS appears to inherit all the characteristics of the GT3 but with a key number of added wow’s.

Not an exclusive list, but:
Short ratio, short shift gearbox
15bhp +
Titanium exhaust
Wider front track
RS specific PASM suspension
Bigger wheels
Dynamic engine mounts as standard

As for looks, opinions are divided. At first I was bewildered by the choices afforded, but time has been sympathetic and now I want one pretty badly.

I’ve rang pretty much every dealer in the country and the order books are already filled. My dealer says he can get me one – but I’m looking at 5th place in the queue there. I guess it serves me right for not acting quickly when I had the chance!!

Normal service will resume.

New YouTube version (I think I’m gonna migrate to YouTube all my vids)

Great article in Evo a month or two back where Henry Catchpole wrote:
The ‘So what’s your favourite car, then?’ question is tricky. I get asked it a lot. It’s a staple query from random, well-meaning people at christenings and engagement parties, most of whom like watching Clarkson & Co on Sunday evenings. I used to launch into a small speech about why it’s simply impossible to pick a favourite and how you need a big barn with at least ten parking spaces so that there’s room for a car for every situation. Five minutes later, just as I’d be explaining why an F40 is not really a choice but a necessity, I’d realise that their eyes had glazed over – they didn’t like cars that much and this wasn’t the quick, satisfactory answer they wanted.
Then I drove a GT3. I still maintain the ten-car principle, but now I always say that if I won the lottery I would walk straight out the next day and buy a 911 GT3

Evo Magazine Review of GT3

I concur old boy, I concur.

Regardless, I must go on. This car is MINT guys, you will not find a cleaner example at this price.
so….

In anticipation of my new arrival due end of September, I am now putting up for sale the best car I’ve ever owned.
Most of you know this car, but for those that don’t:

• 997 GT3
• White
• Club Sport spec
• Carbon bucket race seats
• Red belts
• Drivers and passengers harnesses
• Centre console painted in white
• Bi-Xenon lighting system
• Porsche Communication Management (PCM) including navigation module
• Sound Package Plus incl. CD storage box
• Carbon kick plates
• Porsche floor mats
• Wheel centre set
• Windscreen with grey top tint

Brakes
FRONT: PF Discs and pads on front (over 75% life left)
REAR: OE discs and RS29 pads (over 75% life left)
18,500 miles
Remainer of extended Official Porsche Warranty (8 months)

Full Porsche Service History

In addition to this, there’s a suitcase full of receipts, some I’m proud of, some I don’t like looking at! They represent the level of care that has gone into this car.

It’s just had another service at FearnSport, supplementary to service schedule requirements.
The car has also recently had a non-essential gearbox oil change. RMS was done recently under warranty and has been replaced by the now indestructable metal piece. All GT3’s will need this at some point.

It has gone through it’s entire life with vinyl protection (this has been replaced fully once a year). The front skirt is brand new and the front bumper is resprayed (as all OPC cars are).

Wheels do not have a SINGLE mark on them, no kerbed alloys.

This is a car that looks and feels like it has just come out of the showroom and needs not a penny spending on it. Matt at Fearnsport has brough this car to new condition and I daren’t see it in case I drive it again. It’s even got a brand new windscreen dammit!

Price to release car is £65k. No further offers as I have committed considerable spend on the car recently to ensure it’s showroom fresh. It has literally cost me thousands.

Inspections welcome. It’s currently sat at Fearnsport and will remain there until it’s sold.

For some of my more memorable exploits with this car, you can read here:

why-the-997-gt3-is-the-best-car-ive-ever-owned

1000-miles-and-my-honeymoon-period-is-over

200mph-the-world-sideways-and-conquered-fear

monza

Now, a while later, the clip (that was never actually meant to be shown!) is available to download and view in beautiful HD. I’ve watched this 2m 57s clip about 20 times now in the past two days and I am still hungry for more. There is a pretty cool viral campaign that has gone on in the background for a while, right up to the launch of a replica Flynn’s arcade shop.

Some great articles here on this blog, together with download links to a high resolution HD Quicktime versions of the movie.

http://tronfaq.blogspot.com/

We eventually found an awesome spot in the back of the Tesco’s distribution centre. However, the shelf stacker got an opportunity to demonstrate some authority and had us out of there too. Essentially, the whole night was a failure. Even Guy was pulled over by the local police, not for breaking the law but simply because they were curious about ‘whether this was the new GTR?’.

Despite the lack of success throughout the night, as each minute passed I became more enamoured by the sheer presence of Guy’s GTR in the night roads. I had the same feeling watching the car cruise in the midnight light, with it’s rear LED’s, as I felt when I used to watch Knight Rider as a child. There’s this sense of scale and competence that was quite overpowering. I couldn’t help but follow in it’s shadow as it’s rear lights painted red lines across the evening landscape.

Photos were scarce, but here’s one for kicks.

Computer games have a horrible habit of portraying computer generated lead female characters as anime porn stars and apparently, we males are not happy playing said games unless we have a wave of CGI tits flashed in our faces and tight, g-string underwear doubling up as anal floss glamourised simply because we males need such frivolous titilation.

Transformers is just as guilty with every single shot of Fox a demonstration of her symbolic stature representing the pinnacle of what Holywood has to offer. How does she continue to pout with the deepest layers of lip gloss after having run 5 miles across an Egyptian desert? Why do I have to keep watching her breasts bouncing in sl0-mo as she runs through said deserts? I’m not 12! Please, stop it!

Right, rant over…

Transformers is the CGI fest of the decade. I watched this at the IMAX cinema and unfortunately, it was simply too much for my retinas to take on board. It’s like being locked out of a concert. You can hear the music and you know there’s a kick-ass gig going on, but you just can’t get in. Likewise with the movie, I’m sure it was amazing, but I came out of the cinema with a crooked neck, cross eyes and a brain that had swollen to the size of a small car.

From what I did see, there were some fabulous moments of creative genius, with CGI giant robots blending into the scenery as believably as the carpets were sticky. (they were, wtf was up with that?). All the robots have truly transformed into characters have are shaped by their actions and sacrifices and despite a poor storyline, the script was just a conduit for serious, OTT monster bashing, and that was just awesome. Megatron and Starscream again get away just in time to complete a trilogy, but I’ve no doubt Transformers 2 will become the home cinema bluray disc of choice.

Rating: ★★★★★★★☆☆☆ 

T:S is awesome. It’s the post-apocalyptic, doom-mongering, sci-fi, chase movie of the year. McG has done a fantastic job of injecting the ‘contemporary’ terminator models with the same level of malevolence and fear that we remembered from the original Terminator movie. Bale rocks as Connor, the young Kyle Reece is goddamn awesome and somehow has exactly the same voice tone/dialect that Michael Bhein had so many years ago.

It’s a clever action flick, combining all elements of Terminator lore into a non-stop hardcore metal to metal mash-em-up that had me wooing and cooing at each and every adrenaline filled scene. The SFX is unquestionably amongst the best I’ve ever seen, including Transformers 2.

There’s also one scene that practically made me poop and wee my pants – it’s so utterly cool but to disclose it now would class as a massive movie spoiler, so please, go and see this.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★★☆ 

Today I attended the special GT3 preview event which discussed the results of the survey and also went onto disclose a whole host of detailed information about the next gen. GT3. This was coupled with breakfast, a number of hotlaps in a 997S, skid pan, wet plate in a Cayman S and also an ‘ice-hill’. All hugely fun and the best memory is of the 997S. It was a manual with the GT3 carbon bucket seats and was a real revelation. It’s all the car anyone would ever need really and with Carrera S’s in the £30k’s now, they are a far more attractive alternative to the Caymans. Also drove the PDK in the Cayman today and boy that was weird. Not sure if it simply wasn’t suited to the Cayman S (perhaps not enough power?) but the whole set up wasn’t attractive to me.

As for the colour debate, I’m almost positively kind of sure now that Guards Red is the colour to go for. With the harsh, motorshow spotlights absent, the car was at last shown in a normal light and really did look excellent. That spoiler is the best looking spoiler I’ve ever seen and the small subtle changes work really well, such as the change in wheel design.

Andreas Preuninger, 997 GT3 and RS project manager was there to answer some questions and teamed with the rest of the organisers, really did put on an informative, entertaining day out. He also leaked out some information about the forthcoming Gen 2 (Mk2) GT3 RS:

• More power (14BHP more)
• RSR Front suspension
• Titanium components (Exhaust)
• Wider front track
• ‘Stealth look’ colour schemes – not so brash or loud this time
• Hinted at string door pulls
• New decal scheme
• Shorter gear ratio’s
• £15k – £20k price premium over vanilla GT3
• October unveil, February production
• Frankfurt Motorshow unveil.

All in all, enough to warrant a premium this time over the normal GT3. It appeared the heaviest criticism levied on Andreas’ team was the fact that there was not enough differentiation between the two models to justify the premium. I’m almost tempted to transfer my deposit. Almost….

Now, I’m all in a kerfuffle as I’ve seen another option, Riviera Blue (yeah thanks Glenn). It’s a shocker, for sure. But it does hark back to a time where Porsche’s came in all manner of inappropriate colours. What do you guys think? The wife thinks it’s hideous and called it a bubble-gum car.

EDIT – First two pictures directly below are from another source and allegedly a more accurate representation of the colour.(Thanks Alex)

Images below courtesy SportAuto (German Car Mag)

It’s currently getting pampered with some TLC in preparation, but before I surrendered my car to its next owner, I wanted a parting memory that would be fresh for ages. I made this decision very last minute and decided to take a gentle drive to France and back.

Journey started by punching a random location into the Satnav – taking me about 50 miles north of Paris. As always with France, the Autoroutes aren’t much to write home about. Apart from the obligatory launches from each toll-booth (encouraged behaviour by the booth operators), the otherwise monotonous activity of covering ground space across 100’s of miles of concrete road is pretty dull.

After a night in a local hotel, my return journey would be back home, but with some choice options selected on the sat nav – notably ‘avoid motorways’ and ’shortest route’.

What followed was a medley of beautiful roads, stunning weather and idyllic French rural countryside. A combination of A and B type roads, most were furnished with what appeared to be newly laid tarmac. This made it possible to really stretch the legs on the GT3, allowing me to cruise and coast from various speeds between 100 and 150mph (all private roads, bien sur!). As if planned, turned out this day was a French national holiday so the roads were practically deserted. It really was a fantastic, low effort, fast paced drive across beautiful pastures.

I stopped at one point at this fantastic master-bakers in some villiage in the middle of god knows where and had some incredible olive bread for lunch. I added to my car a huge loaf of local, fresh bread for delivery back home, put on my ‘Urgent Bread Delivery’ stance and made fast progress across the remainder of the journey.

As always, I am utterly in awe of the car, with it’s sweet exhaust note punching holes in the otherwise quiet ambience of French countryside, soundwaves bouncing off trees as I pass them creating a gausian blur photoshop landscape. Flashbacks of computer games are momentarily provided as I see similarities between some of the arrow straight roads and their digital representations.

I’m also forever contemplating the freedom we actually enjoy on the roads. Despite cries of opression, there is still a lot we take for granted. Most of Europe is wonderfully unpoliced and free from the technologies of capture and prosecution. I wonder that if we were to look back in 30 years time, how much will we live for the past?

Still, it’s the now that counts and I’m having a hoot enjoying one of life’s most rewarding experiences.

May 22nd 2009

That kind of shake up mid-morning really can affect your awareness of your surroundings and I simply had no idea who, what, or when I was. A few moments later after having asked myself a number of questions that essentially became more coherent (Who am I, where am I, what is that noise, what’s the next logical step to cancel out said noise) I realised the house alarm had gone off. What started off as major confusion quickly developed into building concern.

As I rushed down to the living room, I switched the alarm off and took stock of the situation. Immediately I saw the rear garage door open and the security lights on. I didn’t even have to go and investigate to know what had happened. My awesome new bike had been stolen. Again.

Police naturally turned up, looked around and failed to pick up anything apart from the obvious “Ahh we can see what they were after” as soon as he saw the GT3. NO! They are NOT after the bright white Porsche 911 – they are simply fucking jobless scrotes who float amongst the scum of society and reap the benefits that we, as citizens, earn.

A few months back I took a right turn at a junction I was not allowed to do so. Given my extensive time behind the wheel of fast cars and circuit driving, I made the decision to do so and understood it was neither a dangerous nor reckless manouvre. Four days later I had a letter in my box at home with an attatched photo of my car, details of the ‘crime’, information about payment terms etc.

How is it my house gets broken into four times in a year and the police are utterly feckless as to the location, destination, identity of these animals?

The sooner ID cards are issued in this country, the better. Currently, I am hating the world knowing that some fucking cock is on a Canondale Carbon Rush SL1 – and he has no fucking clue.

Sigh….no wonder this country is fucked.

Based from a book written by the awesome Neil Gaiman, Coraline is a girl perplexed by a life of boredom and transparency as she drifts from fathers presence to mothers without the attention she craves for. As she steps through a strange secret door she finds in their new home she finds a parallel world that mimicks her own, instead infused with colour, wonder and all the love she requires – that is until she discovers all is not well in this perfect universe.

Directed by Henry Selick, responsible also for the direction of Nightmare Before Christmas, Coraline is the next evolution of stop motion animation that features incredibly surreal visuals, with vivid colour, fantasy imagination and child-like wonderment. Couple this with next generation 3D and I was presented with a truly remarkable cinema experience.

We’ve been waiting for this new evolution of cinema for a short while now and having seen Coraline, I am excited abou the future of film. There were some spectacular scenes that really took advantage of the 3D trickery, with some amazing depth suggested on background images, whilst birds and bees hovered about the skies in front of you. Crazy thing was, 99% of the film was indistinguishable from normal film when your glasses were taken off. It’s a very impressive and effective new medium and worked very well, especially on such Tim Burton’esque material that thrives on touchy-feely environments.

The film itself is typically magical and displayed such care and attention to detail, all scenes despite their importance were a joy to basque in.

I took my kids, 2.5 and 5.5, the younger was nonplussed but my elder understood the concept more and was a little more upset by some of the visuals.

Excellent stuff.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★½☆ 

It’s been a VERY long time since I witnessed applause at the end of a movie in a cinema. Despite my acknowledgement and agreement of the overall sentiment, I withheld any physical displays of admiration to honour the film’s overall virtues; style, ambition, class and recognition.

Hollywood has been recognised as a prostitute lately, wheeling out old school franchises faster than Burger King tie ins. JJ Abrams has admirably stuck to his guns with this film and done a remarkable job of appeasing true Star Trek fans, incidental movie goers and, based on the final scenes introducing a future to the franchise, Hollywood execs.

The film is free of cheese and is really cleverly thought out. The way they introduce the new cast is genius as they bend time to introduce an alternate Starfleet universe based on the intervention of Nemo, the baddie. Lacking the gravitas of supervillians of yore, Eric Bana doesn’t have the Khan-like menace and gets by with pretty awesome makeup and a few harsh words instead.

Whoever was responsible for casting hit the nail on the head for each and every reinvented crew member. Every moment had you questioning “would Shatner do that?” or “would Nimoy say that?” and chances are, yes, they would.

Overall, a sharp, witty rehash of a lovable series that could have been very risky, but instead has injected adrenaline into an otherwise ageing franchise.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★★☆ 

Focusing on the spiral ascension of the female boxer, daddy Clint takes her on as his student and, haunted by a number of personal demons, fights to ensure both the dreams of his student and the restraint of his fears are met without the sacrifice of either.

Holy christ does the film take a turn and makes my recent shoulder operation seem like a carpet burn in comparison to what we’re put through. A depressing insight into how a dream, on the eve of achievement, is suddenly killed and replaced with a nightmare life that none can imagine.

Eastwood is truly a powerhouse and the fact that he wrote, directed and starred is a true statement of skill and merit. Gran Torino, rumoured to be his last outing, should be pretty damn kickin’ rad.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★☆☆ 

How to….follows this latter to a tee and is enjoyable only by the odd moment of comedy, but Kirsten Dunst really is difficult to watch in her constant, repressed, out of luck and knows it character, and combined with Simon Pegg attempting the cool guy role really leaves a film out of sorts with itself.

And yes, Megan Fox is ridiculously hot, but what first appears satirical slowly becomes creepily self gratifying. I read an article about her in Total Film a few weeks back where she was criticising her portrayal as somebody who offers nothing other than sex appeal. Naturally, this film did a grand job of fighting that perception!

Rating: ★★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆ 

Tyson, narrated, starring and about the man himself, is an unabashed, undressing of one of the most celebrated and followed boxers in the history of the sport.
Anybody of that generation will remember suddenly being magnetised to the sport as a result of Iron Mike Tyson and his animal like antics in and out of the ring. Personally, I can still remember his punches live on screen and feeling like the guy was a direct descendant of some Greek god. Anyone attempting to confront him in the ring was quite clearly already recipient of one too many punches to the face.

This is a candid dressdown of a boxer, nay, poet, who quite clearly came from humble beginnings and used fear as a motivation to become the world champion at such an early age.

To anybody who has followed the crazed aggression of the boxer in and out of the ring will be amazed to find so many hidden truths that reveal many of his acts of animal like activities were not as primal as once presumed. His parting words at his last fight are practically heartbreaking and respect must be given to the film maker for painting such a picture of warmth and compassion.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★☆☆ 

Mirrors really does start with a fantastic concept and is based on what I personally feel can be one of the most chilling story environments ever conceived, the derelict, abandoned department store. Originally penned by the writers of the 360 game Condemned, it’s full of fucked up ambience, from the warped soundtrack of loungecore background music, to the smiling, frozen faces of the many mannequins in the store, creating a pretty scary freeze-frame of caricatured life.

What this film does is take this cool story of this mocking spiritual malevolence that resides within these mirrors in the store and pumps it up to a level 10, heavy breathing, carlsberg drinking football ogre.

It could have been so much more but after the first 30 mins, apart from a few pretty sweet moments of ‘woah’, Mirrors relegated itself to the ranks of the Scream sequels of the past 10 years. Keifer was cool though.

Rating: ★★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆ 

Rating: ★★★★★★☆☆☆☆ 

Despite a 5 story parallel, I failed to spot any progressive narrative. It’s possible that this was an intended direction, focusing instead on abstract snapshots of day to day lives of criminal peons who failed to illicit any emotional tie to the viewer. However, the lack of any cohesion in-story was detrimental to what was essentially a very well imagined, acted and photographed take on an industry normally glamorised. In the world of Neapolitan Mafia, there certainly appeared to be no happy ending I wanted to be a part of.

Rating: ★★★★★★☆☆☆☆ 

As far as films go, it majors on originality and based in belgium, the film is French subtitled. This gives it that classic world cinema feel that often comes hand in hand with a seal of quality and JCVD doesn’t disappoint.

The film is interjected by a 2-3 minute monologue where VD confronts the audience and appears to break down, in his poetic/slightly unhinged way that these days is expected from him. The film captures in 90 minutes everything that has gone wrong with Van Damme’s career and highlights the issues that can always get in the way of a movie stars portfolio.

I really hope this kick starts the mans career again as he showed a metric fuck tonne of spirit – it can’t be easy to bare all without coming across as the cheap whores on reality tv programmes following ‘celebrities’ these days.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★☆☆ 

A massive undertaking this car, but the results are pretty neat. As car makers continually strive to maximise profits and cut costs, a recent trend is to cut depth of paint reducing the protective nature of the laquer. Finger nail marks, scratches and swirl marks appear so quickly it dulls the otherwise deep black shine. After the treatment, the results were hugely impressive.

The GT3, resplendent as always, triggered thoughts of sale and closure. With an operation to my shoulder due imminently, there’s going to be very little use for the car in the coming weeks/months. Sale ad up soon :(

Cue, super-Cem. Had no idea if the bike would fit into the back of the Q7 but some rumaging around and it was a super easy fit with space to boot (ho ho). Thankfully the leaking of fuel was sheltered by the canvas lining I placed underneath it.

Picture below of loltastic escapade.

However, nobody told me I’d be sharing my acting space with an annoying 9 year old fuck face who would do nothing other than shit on my parade, annoy the audience and give reason to switch off.

Film makers note. 9 year olds do not have inner depth. They do not have wells of courage and they certainly do not, in their dread locked weird inter-racial, extra marital, noughties family, ‘reaching out’ kind of endearment, allow audiences to ‘connect’. I wanted nothing other than to punch him in the face and was rooting for GORT to take out his tools of Armageddon and exact his immediate revenge, first on the kid by eradicating his immediate existence, then onto Keanu for bothering with an argument in the first place.

Jennifer – I expected more from you.

Rating: ★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ 

Having daughters of my own allowed empathy with the subject matter and I found myself continually rooting for added violence as each and every kill became more and more elaborate.

Extras on the bluray disc had a kill-count on the top left which was mildly lol. Overall, a thoroughly under-appreciated film that has placed Neeson in a previously impossible role of super-dude with a vengeance. Excellent.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★★☆ 

After coffee and biscuits, we’re sat at the order kiosk and go through a whole host of options and specifications for the next GT3. Right about now, excitement starts to snowball and bringing Guy with me was a bad mistake as he seems to convince me to order ever spec going. For what it’s worth, here’s what I went with:

• PCM 3 (Porsche Communication Management touch screen Sat nav)
• Bluetooth
• Sound System Plus
• Universal Audio Interface (iPhone/iPod plug in)
• Centre console painted exterior colour
• Lightweight Carbon bucket seats
• Club Sports package (roll cage, fuel cut out, fire extinguisher and harnesses)
• PCCB (Porsche Carbon Ceramic Brakes)
• PADM (Porsche Active Dynamic Mounts – magnetic engine mount dampers)
• Carbon outer door sill guards

Only problem I have is colour! I simply cannot decide and I’ve rounded it down to either Guards Red or Carrera White. Red looks fantastic in photography, as seen by the excellent Drivers Republic write up, but remarkably dull in the flesh. As for white, it is de rigour, but I’ve done white for 2.5 years now and, well, I’d like a change.

There’s always Reims blue…(see pic below)

After the hard work, we were taken around for a tour of the grounds, which really were quite surprising. Porsche Reading are the only official dealers trained to service the 959, Carerra GT and the GT1 – all of which were there in the workshops. There must have been 5-6 GT’s in the back. The million pound GT1 was quite the sight too.

Walking back to the car, conversation turned to my current car. I’ve been advised to sell it prior to the trackday season so I may get a good return in advance of my new car arriving. This was naturally a prequel to sad thoughts as I have had such ridiculously good times with this car, I will be heartbroken to see it go. It’s a great spec and the dealer mentioned it would fly out the doors, based on club sport + white.

I’m also first to take delivery in the country, due in September. Can’t come soon enough.

Some great write ups already:

Drivers Republic
Autocar
Times Online

This week, Henry realised a life long ambition of mixing it with the big boys by getting rid of his E92 M3 and rolling up in his replacement 997 GT3 in Cobalt Blue, a unique colour for this car. His spec is freakily identical to mine with the only addition the PCCB carbon ceramic discs. Jokes all day about his brake dust free alloy wheels, we scoured the beautiful area of Slough for Mcdonalds drive throughs and trading estates for some photo opportunities.

Nerds amongst you should recognise the building on stilts! It was like a visit to the holy land for me!

It’s quite a lethargic powerplant, but this time round I’ve realised this car is just desperate for a 6 speed box. The given five gears are simply way too long and does nothing other than accentuate the lethargy of the engine. Still, it’s not without character and coupled with the energetic, somewhat surprisingly masculine soundtrack, is sufficient in encouraging a sense of conflicted urgency. The gearing makes for comical heal and toeing though, the blips in throttle followed very quickly by a low rev engine note out of tune with the action.

Handling is of course class leading, with a lithe, nimble approach to every road condition and a reactive, accommodating chassis that communicates and follows instruction without hint of debate nor complaint. It really is quite a funky little pet. £17k gets you one of these and for a quality, well built convertible that is used strictly as a second/third car, it’s hard to beat. Its lack of toys and in-cabin luxuries are offset by a chunky, quality texture to controls and input. The roof control is as simple as is efficient, with the roof coming up and down in a matter of seconds.

I have to say though, coming from a white GT3, it may come as a little strange to admit to feeling a little ‘exposed’ when driving the car. Not in the sense a convertible would leave you feeling ‘exposed’, but a genuine feeling that everybody else on the road thinks you’re a total and utter wanker.

It was just a feeling, that’s all.

What, however, can one say about Watchmen – perhaps the first ever comic book adaptation that has been made almost exclusively for the comic book fraternity. As a casual viewer, it’s easy to become confused as to the WTF element regarding many of the characters. Who the hell is Dr. Manhattan? How does he use his powers? Where did he get these gifts from? Who the hell is the old woman in the home? As a die hard fan of the book, I was delighted to be shown the respect and admiration for the original works that appeared so flawlessly on film.

Although this isn’t Snyder’s first comic book attempt, with his almost carbon copy replication of the book 300 into film, there was no doubt as to the mans ability to translate from ink to film. And boy has he succeeded.

Each and every character has been lovingly matured on screen, up to the point where the affinity between viewer and screen hero is rendered complete, as you realise apart from Dr. Manhattan, they are just flawed human beings with costumes.

I watched this movie on the Odeon Leicester Square digital screen and it looked absolutely gob smacking. The colour definition was so surreal, you could well have been turning the pages of a live comic book fresh off the press.

Even though Alan Moore, writer of the book, condemns hollywood for continually fucking up comic book adaptations, I suspect Watchmen has set a new precedent in this genre – it IS possible to create an adaptation without them muddying concepts with what they believe the viewing audience wants from a movie – romance, tragedy, action. It is entirely acceptable to make films based exactly on the comic books without introducing nauseating Hollywoodisms -dancing spidey? Eugh….

I’ve never been a fan of Silverstone, often treating it as nothing other than a large expanse of asphalt too boring for anything other than F1 where cosmic speeds require such wide expanse of runways. However, having destroyed Silverstone this weekend, it is with much regret must I revoke my prior claims of boredom and malcontent as with an increased pace and confidence have I discovered that Silverstone is far more technical than I have ever given it credit for.

I’m using my oversized Corsa Race tyres on the car which have proven to be a revelation in tyre tech, but more importantly have given me the freedom to depend reliably on the tyres enough so I may focus on improving lines and absorbing the very characteristic of my car, which continues to be the utterly benign and predictable beast I’ve come to expect from it.

It’s funny as this week I’ve also had a GT3 specific survey from Porsche. It’s sent to current owners and goes through about 8 pages of very interesting questions – some of which really do prove that Porsche are extremely focused in ensuring this car is very different from the other 911 models. It gladdens me to see Porsche continue to cater for the minority and I hope to god no idiots checked the boxes which suggest owners need more ‘comfort’ or ‘on road civility’. I humbly ask Porsche to ignore any such requests.

So it is with huge respect to Porsche that I continue to gape and gasp at the sheer capability the 997 affords and entertains me. Naturally, the car isn’t a puppy as is often demonstrated – another white 997 GT3 on the same day unfortunately blended in holy matrimony with the tyre wall and, I suspect, cost its owner dearly by way of writing itself off the planet.

But I digress, my car and I are still in love; even after I drive home from an exhausting trackday 100 miles from home, unpack my bags (helmet is permanently left in car) and reverse into the garage, opening said garage the next day to polish out the black rubber marks off the bodywork by turning the key and driving 10 feet out to my drive for a wash, I am filled with a sense of euphoria and complete and utter satisfaction.

I was offered a good price for the car today – a very good price. And I refused it. On what grounds? I hear you ask. Well, there simply wasn’t another GT3 on the market that I wanted to replace it with. Even though Porsche claim ‘Everything has the capacity for improvement’, when asked to list things that disappointed me about the GT3, I was digging for scraps in a barrel and came up with “No iPod connection”. It really is utterly perfect.

When on circuit, in your GT3, when in the ‘zone’, with the alcantara steering wheel working in association with your clammy hands and beads of sweat dripping from your helmet down the side of your temple, the soft chirp-chirp of tyres working at their absolute limit, disputing with the laws of physics as to how lateral grip is working beyond the call of duty, there is absolutely no other place I want to be when chasing that extra percentage.

997GT3 at Silverstone chasing Baff in his RS from Cem Kocu on Vimeo.

GT3 at Silverstone chasing Ken and Pete from Cem Kocu on Vimeo.

GT3 chasing a race 360 at Silverstone from Cem Kocu on Vimeo.

GT3 at Silverstone from Cem Kocu on Vimeo.

VIP sections visited:

Ferrari - That midget Jean Todd was there. At first they wouldn’t let me on, but when I told them who I was they crapped their pants. Pretty lame dining behind the scene. Cars were ok but the Ferrari 599 FXX or whatever was supreme. Scud convertible was pretty impressive and equally pointless.

Lamborghini - As always, great espresso’s and they have simply the best models in the show – the one on the door made me weep for baby jesus. Murci SV was a special piece of kit and the secret GT3  Gallardo upstairs was impressively made.

Porsche - Didn’t try to get into VIP but sat in the new GT3. Felt remarkably nonplussed by the event and the colour chosen was a very bad choice. They needed to introduce something new and exciting for this, guards red just didn’t work.

Bugatti - VIP tour of the cars and the backroom, one of the most charming salesman I’ve spoken to – and extremely knowledgable and winner of countless races too. When the car started up, my spine went weak.

Nissan - Spec V in the VIP room is pretty pointless and only serves to show just how exceptional value the standard GTR is (Spec V is £100k). The new car is spectacular in white with black wheels and goddamnit I’m disgusted to say I’m tempted to go back into a GTR again – it certainly looked more dramatic than the GT3 did :(

RUF - Alois and his wife were incredibly friendly hosts and the new CTR3 reeked of his blood, sweat and tears – it was his child and they were both proud of it. So they should be, as I think it was the best looking car of the show. Really an amazing car, beautiful.

Alpina - The best VIP snacks in the show, some real nice cheesy crisp things and awesome chocolate florentines – went down very well with an americano. Their new B7 is supreme too. Interesting fact of the day – Alpina have a massively successful global wine business.

However far and few rewards are with owning a car forum, it can be satisfying at times seeing the uninterrupted dialogue between owners and enthusiasts alike, existing simply because you’ve provided for it and continue to maintain and massage the systems and staff required to run it, regardless of the mountains of cash that can be easily consumed when attempting to keep it ahead of the game.

Even so, I am at a loss when witnessing silently the anger and confusion dealt in equal measure to those currently awaiting for more information regarding their imminent GTR’s. Never have I seen such ambiguity and chaos during the launch of what is hailed as a seminal car. Now that certain criteria has been cast in to the light of scrutiny, it’s easy to see the reason why many others have cancelled.

VDC on/off is a topic of heated discussion with many thousands of words exchanged in the name of clarity but without any success. Nobody still knows the stance of Nissan and the VDC palaver and it’s subsequent effect on warranty status. Pre- and post-track day inspections are frankly hilarious and illustrate the fact that Nissan appear to have lost all control of the situation, preferring to make up rules as and when the voices of discontent increase in volume. Alleged costs of maintenance yearly are in the region of £4000.00 and the fact that Nissan are threatening to void warranties when these conditions are not met are in stark contrast to the Porsche baiting bravado they were keen to exhibit during the glared, lens flared launch over a year ago.

Porsche are at the top of their game for a reason and Nissan’s chipping away at their reputation has been nauseating at the least. Specifically, as a key target demographic, I’d like to see some evidence of these feats being met before championing them. I’ve done over 30 track days in Porsches and their warranty is rock solid. I do not need no nonsense inspections by Porsche in order to validate my legitimacy to partake on these events. I’ve just been to Porsche only a couple of weeks ago to extend my warranty and they were witness to both my horrendously obtuse brake discs and pads and my sticky track tyres. The questions I was asked were along the lines of “What did you think of Oulton Park?”, “I’ve added a litre of oil to your car, no problem – enjoy Silverstone and when you’re back, I’ll let you have a play with a Cayman”.

Nissan have launched this car on massively false pretences.

• The launch was smothered with news of its record breaking performance on the Nurburgring, smashing all previous times set by other manufacturers.
• The car was unveiled at the Goodwood Festival of Speed
• The car was shown to Europe at the Geneva Motorshow last year with a scale to size model of the entire Nurburgring circuit, with plasma screens showing the various track performance snippets. The main attraction, on the hour, was in-car video footage of a banzai lap of the ‘Ring.
• Race academy was introduced to new owners. A choice of Silverstone or Nurburgring was offered to hone the skills of deposit paid buyers
• Race helmets were sent out to owners.
• Ad infinitum

Porsche offer a no-cost option on their track focused cars called the Club Sport package. This comes with a roll-cage, fire extinguisher, race harnesses and in the case of earlier models, fuel cut out switches. There is no hidden deceit with regards to how Porsche are promoting the GT3.

Time will tell the attitude of Nissan dealers and their umbrella supporters, Nissan GB, but at the moment all I can see are disgruntled expectants who are waiting for a spark to convert en mass to alternative cars.

I suggest Nissan spend some time in clearing the mess of the current GTR before continuing to market the Spec-V. The fact that UK owners have to wait a whole year after the ROW is a comically unjust distribution. Ultimately, there is one question to ask:

Is the Nissan GTR a track car, or not?

In my book, you’re not a true gamer unless you know, off by heart, the button combinations to Ryu’s fireball and dragon punch.

Game looks fantastic, great evolution of the anime beat-em-up. Sound effects are equally spot on, with the arcadey synth music doing its bit to keep up a frantic pace.

My fingers are swollen, though, after an hour at it, and the genius XBOX Live instant matches have pitted me against cyberathletes who demonstrate their satanic passion to punish combo amateurs like myself, or show that truly the genre has not aged as I have…

Perhaps claiming to be a product of the Playstation generation isn’t a kudos earning statement anymore, considering it’s a 10 year old platform, that’s hardly surprising I guess.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★☆☆ 

As spring rears it’s anticipated head, the beehive of activity surrounding this community of events gains momentum and the contagious energy shared by anyone interested in cars and octane reels in fanatics alike to the many locations across the UK, now amongst the most active trackday scene in the world.

It’s not just glory and fame though, with the pleasure gained from the few hours destroying tyres from increased friction, the eroding pads from over-zealous braking later and later by the minute, and the visible evidence of fuel being burnt at alarming rates – not least those who find misfortune and misery buried deep in the tyre walls of our championed locales. No, these moments of memory can be overshadowed by the vast quantities of funds that can be swallowed whole through the pursuit of these sports.

The GT3 is a remarkable benchmark, offering supercar levels of performance, but with relatively low running costs. Employ a modicum of mechanical sympathy, however, and your car is constantly being looked after by independants and official Porsche centre’s alike. Oil changes, filter changes, gear boxes, brakes, pads, discs, suspension, wheels, tyres, vinyl protection, resprays, ad infinitum.

I won’t disclose the small fortune this week has cost me in preparation for this week’s trackday at Oulton Park, but it’s enough to challenge your on-track sympathy. I can also see the logic of using a smaller, lighter, cheaper car for trackday thrills – something that uses smaller brakes, uses narrower tyres, has running costs so low it’d be cheaper to buy a new engine than to rebuild it.

All those thoughts evaporate after another spirited drive in the car. I am actually quite excited to pick the car up from Fearnsport tomorrow. By all intents, it should feel like a new car with almost all consumables refreshed to new standard. Add to this the fact that Porsche have just charged me £1400.00 for one year warranty renewal, I’m on top of the world (of debt).

Without giving too much of the plot away (I’m sure you’ve guessed most of it already), Button continues the tale as those around him get older, he inexplicably becomes younger.

Having drawn many comparisons to Forrest Gump, I found a much more intellectually stimulating story that questions so much of life that we take for granted; so much so in fact that I found myself wanting to go straight home and grip the hands of my girls in longing. I imagine those who have been affected by strong emotions relating to either birth of death will find it difficult watching this film without being moved by it’s tale of morality and it’s impending inevitability. We witness the two main characters, Cate Blanchett and Brad Pitt, having a moment in their lives where for a fleeting moment, there is a crossover of ages where they are perfectly matched for each other. But it’s at that moment that we come to recognise the futility of our efforts in chasing ambitions that are not spiritual in nature, essentially ignoring the most important moments in our life and failing to recognise that every moment in passing is a memory either lost or confined to the vaults of the mind – forever.

CGI has been used to incredible effect, true to the age old statement that if you don’t notice the CGI, then the film has succeeded in the art of illusion. Seeing the elderly characters, an aged version of Brad Pitt in his 80’s, looking upon with the world with wonder as though he were seeing it for the first time, was a startlingly charming experience that inevitably made Pitt’s character immediately priceless and enjoyable. Conversely, seeing an 18 year old Pitt was also striking (Blanchett exclaiming “My God, you’re perfect!”), not only in the moment, but as an example of future possibilities using this technology – we should prepare to see a new Holywood blockbuster soon, starting Marlon Brando.

The inevitable ending was all the more difficult to absorb based on the love you had for not only the character, but the impact on those around him – the one thing we simply have no control over, regardless of power or money, is time. No story does a better job than this in reminding us about that fact.

Every so often a film comes along that has you philosophising the if’s and the why’s of a film after a viewing. I’ve no doubt this will provide a basis for social commentary for a long time to come.

I once joked to a close friend of mine that my children leave me no opportunity to sleep as they invade our bed in the night, only to have me relegated to the spare bedroom. I was told, in ways only experience can do so, to cherish those moments as there will come a time, when your kids will simply not want to even see you.

I will take my hat of to this film for reminding me how precious the moment is, and to stop living in either the past, or the future. Please go hug someone you love.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★★☆ 

As for the story itself, there’s approximately 10 minutes of dialogue free film in the beginning and testament to the storytelling pace that it takes no words to cement your attention, it really is an amazing tale that has you sympathising with the hard nosed ethic of Lewis, ridden free of all morality in his pursuit of riches.

This is Daniel Day-Lewis as you’ve never seen him before.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★★★ 

Titled “From the inner sanctum; The new 911 GT3″, it was not without frenzied demolishing of said envelope and subsequent careful removal of enclosed glossy envelope, I spent the next 20 minutes reading cover to cover and then reading again details of the Mk2 997 GT3.

As ever with 911 evolution, the product is never broken enough to warrant redevelopment from the ground up, but instead a careful considered review of essential upgrades that could constitute some reaction to owner wish lists. The list of changes are healthy enough for me to start deliberating colour choices already, but those that stick out are:

• Bored out engine to 3.8 (0-100mph in 8.2 secs!)
• Adaptive engine mounts (not sure about this – am hoping it doesn’t provide an artificial handling characteristic)
• PASM (Porsche Active Suspension Management)
• One piece new design GT3 wheels (excellent for fast race track exchanges)
• Front axle lifting system (great for London driveways and speed ramps)
• PSM (Porsche Stability Management – thankfully it’s switchable)
• Larger brake discs (380mm)
• GT2 style carbon buckets (they recline now instead of one piece fixed)
• PCM (Porsche Communication Management – touch screen sat nav with ipod connectivity)

There are sufficient upgrades for me to warrant the upgrade cost from mine, the only question is – what colour – Red, White or Grey????

It’s a Cannondale Carbon Rush SL1, top of the range carbon lefty. I’ve not had a chance to ride it yet (at home with cold) but it’s currently parked in my living room looking incredibly sexy.

Got a monster 100km ride booked for April so training needs to start asap or I’m gonna look like the idiot who went into the cycle shop with an empty wallet and said “make me look like robocop please”.

Black bike is my stolen one. The one that was stolen. Stolen from me. Owned by me but nicked. Stolen. Taken without consent.

After having read the great Car article yesterday as they took a new Abarth 500 across the alps, I had to go see one again. After all, I need a train station car and what better than this?

Unfortunately, I didn’t get to see the car in person (I’m a week early) but my interest is peaked. I’ve been pouring over the (incredibly stylish) A4 teaser they gave me, that comes together with pictures of the Assetto Corse package – a track day pack that comes with special wheels, lowered springs, uprated discs and pads, ecu flash that takes power from 135bhp to 160bhp and some other tasty add-ons. Standard car is £13,600 and the package costs another £2,500.

This is a very, very cool car.

So what are my contemplations?

Well, how about this fantastic Gallardo Spyder, in my opinion the best looking open top there is. Its price has dropped pretty violently in the past 3-4 months and with all the right options too – sat nav, white, ceramic brakes, callisto wheels etc. And at 85k before haggling, that’s a veritable bargain! The Spyder is also based on the 06 model Gallardo which came with a whole heap of upgrades and improvements over the original launch car. Only caveat is the launch of the new LP560 – naturally this will have a knock on effect on prices of existing cars. Still, ultimate pose mobile?

Another Gallardo, but with more function. Proven already as a competent track tool, the Gallardo Superleggera is probably the best looking production track car ever! They’ve becoming increasingly popular lately as a result of their sudden price drops from £160k + options down to £90k bargains. Stunning lookers but with a horrible transmission that you just know will betray you when you least expect it. Only other caveat is running costs of a Lamborghini track car. If you need to ask, you can’t afford it. This one is £99k with only 3,000 miles on the clock. Crazy.

“What’s this?” I hear you ask. Yeah, the GT3 is so goddamn hardcore, I’m looking for another. But as with housing, you buy cheap, you also sell cheap. I’m also quite interested in a change of colour and this black example looks rock solid. Only problem is finding a spec that I want (club sport, PCCB brakes and sat-nav). That combination doesn’t come up often. I’m even looking for a possible RS. Still, there’s something to be said for GT3 residuals. For a car that cost me £86k new over 2 years ago and is still commanding £60k + prices, that is an absolute awesome result. This particular example is on for £67k

Or hour about this, the 599 Ferrari? It was only 6 months ago that these beauties were available for no less than £230k. They really were sought after and now, they’re hovering from £125k onwards. Not quite affordable, but a certain bargain for sure? This made Evo’s car of the year don’t forget and as for looks divides opinion, but for me it’s one of the most dramatic cars on the road today.

Still not convinced? I know, this V12 monster is right up your street. An £80k Murcielago can’t be ignored so blatantly, no other car arouses as much interest, especially in this orange. As far as traffic stoppers go, what else for this money? I can think of no other. It is agricultural, uncouth, abrasive and certainly inappropriate in today’s climate – but you can’t deny the Lamborghini daddy.

Best place one can be is with no cars and the cash in bank. But then, who says anybody with petrol in his veins is sensible?

The story almost plays second fiddle to the incredible parts played by the respective ring masters as the dialogue kept me enthralled right until the dramatic climax that cemented the career of Frost until the end of his days.

A disturbing insight into the corrupt, inexcusably ambitious political nature of the white house during the 70’s, both Michael Sheen and Frank Langella woo audiences as they dance in front of the camera in this balletic show of acting prowess – a delight to witness.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★★☆ 

Battlefield, as a series, is a successful franchise that has garnered popular internet support for it’s fast past unique internet gameplay mechanics.
Bad Company, the latest in the line, didn’t receive rave reviews but I dusted this copy and had to comment on something about the game that really blew me away and has had me come back time after time, even after completing the single player campaign.

It’s got a well paced squad based mechanic, where you are a member of a 3 man squad in the pursuit of gold. The humorous dialogue lends itself humanised characteristics which go a long way to turn this into what appears to be a very believable contemporary FPS war game. It’s got excellent environmental damage unlike any I’ve seen before and some of the more destructive weapons (how about a radio which gives grid reference locations to remote artillery guns?) provide hours of smash-em-up gameplay. You literally leave entire towns and villages in smouldering ruins and suffocating smoke.

However, it’s the sound effects of this game that amazes me. Taking an AK47 into an unfurnished building, crouching under the window and taking blind shots outside provides the kind of ridiculously realistic echos and reverbs in your room that causes your kids to run crying to their mothers and my neighbours to jump into air-raid shelters. The sheer scale of various weapons mean there are definite benefits from one rifle to the other and dropping your M60 for an RPG adds a great strategic consideration to the game.

I’ve not even started talking about tanks yet – blowing the top of a building off with your tanks can be hugely satisfying.

Rating: ★★★★★★★½☆☆ 

Well, he’s carrying the Orbital DNA for sure. This album is much more familiar to me, a die hard Orbital fan who’s followed their every direction since the 90’s, and keen listeners will see very obvious Orbital tell-tale signs, from the electronic synths to the mix of electro and vocals to excellent effect.

Musically, the style is different enough to not be labelled a solo Orbital act and I’m sure both Hartnoll’s are desperate to eradicate comparisons to their roots, but when there is obviously a distinct blood line to your heritage, it’s hard to avoid the labelling.

I’m still more fond of his instrumental works on this album but will still afford some patience for his departures. There’s a couple of tracks that are almost classic in nature, certainly acoustic and less electronic, I’ll say thanks, but just more of Patchwork Guilt please.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★☆☆ 

It’s not often that a movie is released where I am desperate to watch in the cinemas within the first week of release. Quantum of Solace was the last one and I think Incredible Hulk was before that. I suspect the whole of Hollywood has got together to ensure Rourke’s knockout performance (awesome eh?) return is met with the adulation and respect it deserves.

Personally, since The Fountain, I’ve become a huge fan of Darren Aronofsky and genuinely hope he continues to take charge of film making without folding to the pressures imposed upon them by the studios in the way most directors cave in. His directorial confidence has brought a unique documentary feel to this movie, charting the trials and tribulations of a man who fell off the horse onto the donkey. Fact is, the subject matter could be anything – he could be a singer, an artist, a race car driver – the story of redemption, sacrifice and the indomitable pursuit of self belief transcends all humans and can be demonstrated by everyone given the right circumstances. A poignant tale of one man’s fight to keep a long lost dream alive, the trail of destruction left by Rourke goes unnoticed by himself until it’s too late to pick up the pieces.

One can only feel humbled by the unremitting strength of Rourke and understanding his challenges should help everybody in recognising the higher you are, the harder you fall.

I mean, god dammit, Aronofsky is fucking making RoboCop for fucks sake!! My party starts now!

Rating: ★★★★★★★★½☆