Boredom and the car enthusiast – a dangerous combination

10 AUGUST, 2010

Stay out of trouble and trouble won't find you. Of course, that mantra is not part of my vocabulary, instead I look at ways of blowing an additional £30k.

It’s the actions of an irresponsible car nut, bored on a weekday sat in his office, desk cleared and nothing really important to be getting on with, that leads to trouble of sorts.

It’s that situation that plagues me now, where only a couple of days ago, in fact only a few hours ago, the mere thought of a new car was but a distant impossibility. Now, having evaluated my boredom, I’ve come to the conclusion that I need at least another two cars. Let me explain….

Anybody who reads these inane ramblings will no doubt understand that nothing is ever rational, nor is it borne from a school of logical thought. Our ideas are as fleeting as the British weather so they carry neither rhyme nor reason.

However, it is quite clear that I need some form of every day transport. No, I do not drive to work, but that is, of course, irrelevant. I simply need to have transport that would carry me with comfort, style and not without some power. I was at a petrol station last week late into the night at the motorway services. Anybody who’s familiar will know that these can be ghostly arenas late at night devoid of traffic both in mechanical and human variety. As I pulled up to the pumps, there was a car in front of me that had overtaken me a short while ago on the M1. As I got out, the driver was getting into his car having filled up and paid his duties and made to pull off.

The sound of his engine starting was a cerebral shock. How could such a once respectable, mass manufacturer of quality executive class cars be so irresponsible in their creation of something so unholy. Not only did my trousers vibrate in its wake, but I also did not notice that I had embraced a fierce smile that would have placed my sanity to the duty attendant into question.

The car, of course, was an AMG C63. 6.2ltrs of V8 goodness. SIX POINT TWO LITRES. How did that thing get through planning stages at Mercedes? Was it an April Fools joke, played upon the board of directors that someone was forgotten about as it got passed onto product development??

Regardless. That night, I was on Pistonheads classifieds pouring over these immense, German hot-rods. I’ve given up trying to justify it to the wife and have already considered contract hire rates versus 2nd hand options. Having chatted to a few ex-owners, it’s quite clear that they leave a positive lasting impression where they often regret the sale. One friend said his C63 was so awesome, he actually got run over by his own car as someone attempted (successfully) to car jack him during a faux sale process.

Am I certifiable?

Father to two rodents. Husband to a pillar of support. Buddies with the Norse God of mischief. Director of a creative agency, demomedia.co.uk.

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