So, electric cars. They here to stay I guess…
Again. Yes. Forgive me as I talk to myself into the abyss that is my void. But it’s really hard to classify cars these days when you want to be both sustainable and accessible.
Yes the electric car is a true herald for the evolution of not just cars, but travel itself. But there is a massive problem with electric cars that no-one seems to be paying attention to. The modern electric car is a means for car manufacturers to reduce their CO2 output average and they are spending an inordinate amount of money on R&D in order to make the batteries last longer and become more sustainable for future recycling. But they have a finite limit to their capabilities and although our ranges may well be improving marginally year on year, the infrastructure simply isn’t.
Unless government starts to mandate provisioning for electric charging across the country then we’re simply at the mercy of mercenary firms exploiting electric car owners with over priced, unreliable and poorly placed charging stations. Add to that proprietary charging stations that don’t allow other cars to use them (Tesla) and a charging technology that doesn’t standardise ports, power and tech, we the consumers are the ones that are acting as guinea pigs.
We are at an interesting period of development for the electric car. For the first time ever, a city car is simply just that – a city car. You cannot use an BMW i3, a Renault Zoe or a Honda e to do anything other than a 30 minute journey without inducing an anxiety attack large enough to put you on to a therapist’s couch pointing to the privates of a teddy bear.
I myself have been an unfortunate victim of the poor infrastructure. On one fateful evening I was asked to drop my dad off at the airport. What was supposed to be quick trip to Heathrow ended up being a round-the-other-side-of-the-M25 to Stansted kind which meant I had no choice but to find a charge station. But there wasn’t, and any stations I found that had claimed to have chargers were either incompatible or flat out broken. Add to this right in the middle of the fuel crisis (Sept 2021) where no recovery was possible (Even AA and RAC were refusing to take on board new customers, even after I offered a £200 bribe), I was stranded in the middle of nowhere with a battery flat as a pancake. This pissed me off an innordinate amount.
So what’s with the massive preface? Well, I still am a massive champion of electric cars. I think they’re a very viable alternative for pure utility and despite being left stranded, I absolutely love the pure function of my BMW i3s. But the 170m range sometimes isn’t enough and the luggage is limited for our frequent airport runs.
Subsequently, I want a Porsche Taycan Sport Turismo. Either a GTS or a Turbo S. But I don’t want to buy one yet so I hired one for a few months and here it is. A Porsche Taycan Turbo S. Yes, let’s get the first thing out the way – the name. Why Porsche name an electric car after forced induction is beyond me and a little insulting to the drivers, but we’re all consumers so…
It’s no secret the Taycan lacks a conventional internal combustion engine. That’s the point of the whole dang car; however, Porsche still decided to affix the Turbo badge to the name even though the Taycan lacks a turbocharger. That may seem strange, but to Porsche, the Turbo name is more than a representation of the car’s forced induction. Instead, the Turbo name is given to a model’s top performance trim. Porsche believes the peppier Taycan deserves the Turbo moniker.
https://uk.motor1.com/news/400444/taycan-turbo-name-fake-engine-noise
Regardless, despite this odd slap of the name, there is nothing about this car that doesn’t immediately make you think it’s a Porsche, such is the hardwiring of Stuttgart’s DNA. It is an immensely adept car with strengths in so many areas it gives competition absolutely no breathing room.
I’m not going to talk about its performance in terms of brute power because this has become a bit of a trope. Yes we all know the concept of torque immediacy in modern day electric cars. Compared to a petrol daily or an SUV, they are on a different level. But sorry not sorry I own a 720S so I’m not as blown away by these cars’ performance as your average kid on the street who seems it absolutely necessary to tell me their uncle has a Tesla every time they catch me washing the McLaren like their uncle just cured cancer or something. It isn’t a primary motivator for me. I like the performance of my i3 – it’s realistic, usable and safe. And I’ve always advocated additional driver qualifications for anything over 400bhp. Nobody should be able to just walk into a dealer and buy these meteors having just passed a test they failed 10 times before.
However the Taycan Turbo S is actually an incredible GT car. Performance aside, it has a wonderful communicate chassis, perfectly weighted steering and a general feeling of cohesion and togetherness that begs you to exploit it. It is, and feels, very heavy though, at nearly 2,5 tonnes this is a metric absolutely noticeable at times, mostly under braking where you often finding yourself extending your right foot a little harder to compensate the under braking you just did where you nearly rear ended the car in traffic in front of you. 12 times, absolutely depending on every last inch of those carbon ceramics. Yes, this actually happened.
With the car’s immense weight, you have to readjust much of what you may have already learned about tight lines, understeer and trail braking. In addition to its weight you need to also consider its size – it is absolutely massive in reality, cleverly disguised by fantastic modern car design and wheels that belong on a monster truck – at 21″ it tricks you into believing proportion when in fact, they are as big as the car itself.
Readjust you will and once you do so, the Taycan Turbo S becomes a wonderful companion that can take you and family for upto 250 miles in a mood that will match however you feel. Switching to its performance mode is a genuine transformation with every component of the car sharpening from ride height to throttle response and even the utterly awesome soundtrack that the car has when going into sports mode is addictively indulgent, reminiscent of something a starship out of some sci-fi movie would make.
The ergonomics of its interior are as jaw dropping as they are frustrating and we’re about to enter yet another rant about the direction of automotive design. And that is touch screen interactions. On first glance, especially at night, the Taycan is simply a statement in hi-tech visual drama. It is as colourful as it is entrancing and you can’t help but first look upon it with some level of bewilderment. If you enjoy spending months in a car and continually learning something new, then this is for you. But with no less than five touch screen displays across the entire cabin, it can quickly become overwhelming.
This is not something I’d ordinarily support in a hugely capable and fast car like the Taycan and in fact would go as far as to label it dangerously ignorant of car manufacturers. Using a phone in your car is illegal and has been for many years, but recent changes to this legislation have now meant holding your phone whilst driving, even if it’s just to view the sat-nav, is deemed as breaking the law. But I will guarantee you, using an iphone whilst driving, with all its familiarity and decades of UX know how, is way safer than trying to figure out how to change a radio station whilst driving.
Yes it looks incredible, yes it’s a statement of true modern engineering but it’s simply no replacement for a tactile button that is not only rewarding to use, but also immeasurably safer. Audi used to strike the balance perfectly, as do BMW in the last generation of cars with a mix of touch screens and tactile buttons for your most common actions. I know why it happens – it’s so much cheaper to share all these screens across multiple cars, across multiple countries and make updates that do not require re-engineering. I get it, it’s sustainable, but please compromise.
Rant out the way. I now REALLY want the Sport Turismo. Essentially the same car but shooting brake style with extended boot for coolness. I actually wanted an RS6 but my insurers have massively put me off this car with stats around it being the most stolen production car in UK that is apparently on par with the 80’s spree of car thefts we had with the RS Turbos and Astra GTEs.
Car’s going back soon but now I have a different first world problem. War in Ukraine has seen a shared factory that produces wiring looms for both Porsche and Lamborghini (VAG group I understand) bombed. Now, Porsche have not only given deposits back to people with backorders, but have stated no plans on restarting production anytime soon. Which means I can’t even put in an order for a Taycan Sport Turismo. Which is fine.
Honestly, Porsche have become the Apple of the car industry, Amazing products, shitty company. I do not subscribe to a marketing plan that forces customers to spend X before they can buy Y. It is the cheapest component of consumerism that promotes wasteful buying and silly brown paper bag practices at dealers. I really hope that I do not have to endure any of that nonsense to start buying Porsche cars again.
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