Gringo, how much for your daughter – Makinen gets analized by Golf Diesel

Goes a little something likes this:


East London area, around 9.30pm. Evo Mak cruises past what seems to be a harmless black Golf GTI only to be undertaken by the same vehicle just before a junction. The windows of the mak are wound down fully. The passenger (James) looks to his right to be greeted by a huge bald bloke (bouncer, pimp…you name it) leaning over and smiling at the big red car that has pulled up along side him. Passenger slowly moves head backwards so eye contact is no longer made. Cem remains with his eyes front but the frantic nodding and aggressive energy spewing out of the golf causes him to turn his head, the following conversation and events now takes place. Remember to read the northern nutters dialogue extremely fast, extremely aggressively, extremely loud and with an extreme northern accent.

Northern Nut: That’s a nice looking car like
Cem: *smiles and nods*
Northern Nut: What size engine is that like?
Cem: it’s a two litre
Northern Nut: What’s the 0-60 on that like?
Cem: Well it is about 4 seconds
Northern Nut: *screams* 3 SECANS LIKE?
Cem: um no, 4 seconds
Northern Nut: Ah pretty fast then, it must be chipped to fook then like
Cem: *puts the pedal to the metal and leaves the northern nut for dust*
Northern Nut: *wheel spins massively and proceeds to follow the Mak which is disappearing into the distance*
Cem: Look at that nutter, he is right up my back side *touches the brake before taking a gentle right hander at break neck speed before exiting the corner to the sound of the engine roaring up to 7250 rpm propelling the Mak miles ahead once again*
Northern Nutter: *takes corner at a ridiculous speed in his GTI, must of been on the edge, drives right up the Maks backside again before lurching alongside* Your brakes are struggling a bit there like, chucking fire and stuff out
Cem: yeah they do that, competition spec brakes.
Northern Nutter: The thing is like, my car was designed to go fast *lurches off at a pathetic speed before having it round a left hand corner at about 110mph scaring his lady of the night girlfriend into even more of a nervous wreck than she was before*

Scary, northern guys are very scary