I don’t know, Megan Fox is becoming  just so….obvious. Yes, she’s incredible, no question, I’d jump at half the chance, but must we continually be expected to fawn upon her presence? I just ask for a bit of humility, dignity and class.

Computer games have a horrible habit of portraying computer generated lead female characters as anime porn stars and apparently, we males are not happy playing said games unless we have a wave of CGI tits flashed in our faces and tight, g-string underwear doubling up as anal floss glamourised simply because we males need such frivolous titilation.

Transformers is just as guilty with every single shot of Fox a demonstration of her symbolic stature representing the pinnacle of what Holywood has to offer. How does she continue to pout with the deepest layers of lip gloss after having run 5 miles across an Egyptian desert? Why do I have to keep watching her breasts bouncing in sl0-mo as she runs through said deserts? I’m not 12! Please, stop it!

Right, rant over…

Transformers is the CGI fest of the decade. I watched this at the IMAX cinema and unfortunately, it was simply too much for my retinas to take on board. It’s like being locked out of a concert. You can hear the music and you know there’s a kick-ass gig going on, but you just can’t get in. Likewise with the movie, I’m sure it was amazing, but I came out of the cinema with a crooked neck, cross eyes and a brain that had swollen to the size of a small car.

From what I did see, there were some fabulous moments of creative genius, with CGI giant robots blending into the scenery as believably as the carpets were sticky. (they were, wtf was up with that?). All the robots have truly transformed into characters have are shaped by their actions and sacrifices and despite a poor storyline, the script was just a conduit for serious, OTT monster bashing, and that was just awesome. Megatron and Starscream again get away just in time to complete a trilogy, but I’ve no doubt Transformers 2 will become the home cinema bluray disc of choice.